The Alternative League
by the pen pals
Summary: On the way to Mahogany Town, Ash discovers a strange door. Things soon happen, and Ash enters a league of his own.
1. The Stadium Of Disguses

**The Stadium Of Disguises  
**  
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.

* * *

It was a bright, sunny day as Ash, Misty and Brock walked down a secluded path, looking for Mahogany Town. The path was rocky and narrow, and everything looked so bare that Ash almost missed a small brown door in one of the rocks.  
"Hey, Misty, Brock, come and look at this."  
"What is it Ash?" asked Misty, crouching down to see the door better.  
"Hmm..." said Brock. "It says in the guidebook a few trainers have found a gym on this path. But all of them were beaten, and were too embarrassed to talk about it."  
"A gym, yes? Well, even if other trainers have been beaten, we won't be, will we Pikachu?"  
"Pika!"  
And so saying, Ash opened the wooden door and crawled through.  
"Hey, wait for us Ash!" cried Misty and Brock as they scrambled after him.

From behind a rock, Jessie, James and Meowth watched Brock close the door behind him.  
"A Pokemon gym in the middle of nowhere? I shouldn't think you'd get many customers," said Jessie, puzzled.  
James turned. "I know, but it's still a gym and still has Pokemon."  
"Right," agreed Meowth."So aswe are Pokemon thieves, it's our duty to get in there and steal those Pokemon!"  
So Meowth, James and Jessie silently crawled through the door as well.

The rocky tunnel was long and winding; indeed every time an end seemed to be in sight, there was just another corner and another backbreaking crawl ahead. Despite the apparent endlessness of this tunnel, Ash was determined to reach the gym (which is more then can be said of Misty, Brock and Team Rocket, who stopped for a rest every two minutes or so). Finally, though, Ash reached a huge rock in the middle of the path. He scampered around its left side. A few minutes later, Misty and Brock arrived, but they went right.

Ash stared. In front of him was a huge green door, made of wood. He gulped, and reached in front of him for the handle. He twistedit and opened the door. He gasped.

Misty and Brock gasped in awe. In front of them was a huge red door, almost as big as a Dragonite. Misty thought, and then grasped the handle. She opened the door, and gasped.  
In front of her was a huge room filled with Pokemon. An Alakazam in one corner was psychically lifting a dumbbell, a Wobbuffet was bouncing a punch bag with Counter, and a Noctowl was practicing Hypnosis on a Drowzee. Misty and Brock stepped in, and Brock spotted a door in one alcove. They crept across the room, careful not to disturb anyone, and dashed through the door.

In front of Ash, there was a huge room, which had a large, flat table on the right side of the room. On top of the table were two desks, with three small holes in each. On the left of the room was a huge bench, covered in pink and blue cushions.  
There were two doors on the opposite side of the room. There was a loud bang, and the one on the right wobbled twice.  
"Pika!"  
"Don't worry, Pikachu. But brace yourself in case it's Team Rocket."  
The door quivered again, and suddenly some people burst through the door. They were Brock and Misty!

"Have you seen what's through here? It's a huge Pokemon filled room! There are all sorts of Pokemon training..."  
"Wow," said Brock, interrupting Misty mid-sentence. "What is this place?"  
"I dunno," said Ash.  
The other door shook.  
"Pika!"  
It opened slowly, not creaking but looking as if it should have been. In through the door proceeded something small - it had feathery wings, much like a Dragonair's, and in fact it also had a long blue body like a Dragonair's. However, there was also something unmistakeably snakelike about this body.  
It looked up. "What are you doing in the sacred Stadium of Disguises? You couldn't begin to imagine how many other idiots I get bothered by every month."  
Ash growled. "I'm no ordinary idiot! I mean, I'm not an idiot at all!"  
"Well, there's no need to shout about it. You're disturbing the Pokemon in the gym's nursery next door," the snake said, nodding towards the door that Misty and Brock had come through earlier.  
"This is the Gym?" exclaimed Brock.  
"Yup, you got that right. This is the Stadium of Disguises, Gym extraordinare on Route 34. Lucky for you to have found it."  
"If it's a gym, then I can challenge you to a gym battle!" said Ash.  
"That's fine by me.First, ofcourse,you must go through the preparation phase."  
"Huh?" said Misty. "No official gym matches..."  
"This is no official gym, lady."  
The snake turned to Ash. "Get on the table," it said. Ash clambered onto the table. He felt rather a feeling of _deja vu_, and it was a moment beforehe realised why. This wasalmost exactlylike Brock's gym: there were some rocks strewn about, and a PokéBall in the middle. There were also some faint lines on the floor, but when Ash opened his mouth to ask about them, the snake indicated that he should stay quiet.  
"You two -" the snake gestured towards Brock and Misty "- can sit over there," and now it pointed to the bench. It thenflew up to the other table.  
"Alright then. Stadium of Disguises, I'm Ad, simple one on one combat all the way through, three Pokémon, however," and here he grinned, insofar as a snake can grin, "due to the inherent disadvantages you face, only one victory for you is necessary togain you the Badge."  
Ash thought about disagreeing on this point, but the way he saw it, trashing this guy would lead to gloating rights afterwards no matter whether he gloated before, and gloating before - as he had seen countless times in Team Rocket - generally led to disaster.  
"So, Ash, put yourthree PokéBalls in the holes in your table." Ad and Ash did it together, except Ad put down a deck of cards as well.  
"Go!" roared Ad, and he picked out one of the Balls and threw it. Ash followed his lead. Out came Ad's Pokémon, the Wobbuffet that Misty and Brock had seen next door, and Ash's Squirtle. Wobbuffet ran to a rock, which Squirtle cut through easily, before destroying all the others. Wobbuffet used Mirror Coat.  
"Mirror Coat will be useless against Headbutt -go, Squirtle!"  
Before Squirtle could launch itself into the air, however, Adturned over one of the cards.  
"Celadon", he said, and the stage glowed brightly. Ash sheilded has eyes from the light with his arm, and when he next looked, there was grass everywhere. Around Wobbuffet, however, there was a barren patch.  
"Of course!" said Brock. "The Mirror Coat must have blocked the power of the card."  
Squirtle looked about him. The grass was too high forit to see. Ittried using Hydro Pump to clear the way, but Wobbuffet was in front of it. It used Mirror Coat, and the Hydro Pump flew back into Squirtle. The impact threw Squirtle out of the arena.  
"Squirtle, return!"calledAsh. Ad smiled. "First round to me. I'm so brilliant sometimes."  
Ash decided to act quickly and shut him up. "If it's grass you're using, I'll just send out Charmander!"  
"Then," said Ad, "I will use Seaking!"  
The fish landed on the barren patch, and flapped about.  
"Ha! It's like a fish out of water!" cried Ash.  
"It is a fish out of water," said Misty.  
Ad turned over another card. "Cerulean!"  
Charmander felt the ground shake beneathits feet. Suddenly, a huge crack opened in the ground, and thearea split apart, revealing a huge pool of water. Charmandersprinted over the fast disappearing land, finally leaping onto Ash's platform.There itpanted, but Seakingswam after it, and used Water Gun. Charmander fainted.  
"Charmander, return!" shouted Ash. "Alright, now I'm going to have to use my best Pokémon. Pikachu, go!"  
"I'll change too," said Ad. "If this is your best pokemon, I had better use mine. Misdreavus, go!" The blue ghost burst out of its ball.

"What is that?"asked Misty. Ash switched on his Pokédex.  
"_Misdreavus is a ghost-type Pokemon. This Pokemon likes to startle people by going to them and pulling their hair_," whirred Dexter.  
"That's horrible!" cried Misty.  
"Yeah: just like us!"  
"Oh no." groaned Ash.

"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all peoples within our nation..."

"Do you know who these two are?" asked Ad.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above..."

"Unfortunately yes," replied Ash with a sigh.

"Jessie!"  
"James!"  
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"  
"Meowth that's...hey! Are you even listening to us?"

"What are you two goons doing here?"asked Ash.  
"We're going to capture your Pokemon. And that includes Pikachu!" said James.  
"And we've got a super machine to help us," said Meowth. He threw a spontaneous raft into the water, andJessie and Jamesleapt onto it, carrying wires with them. These they began to snake around the Gym.  
"Hey!" shouted Ad to Ash. "Drive them to the edge of the table!"  
"Okay," Ash said. "Pikachu, electrify the water!"  
"Pika!" The thunderbolt zapped through the water, jolting theraft to the edge of the pool. Team Rocket jumped onto the edge of the table, and took up two long cables. James began to splice them together.  
"You can'tget rid ofus that easily!" shouted Jessie. "Arbok, go! Poison Sting."

Meanwhile, Meowth was under the table, also splicing cables together, but more successfully. He quickly plugged a cable into a small grey box, and then sighed in relief. On hearing a muffled shout of "Viridian!" from above, he smirked, pressed the button, and darted away.

"How dare you use the name of Giovanni's fair city in vain?" shouted Jessie. Then she snorted. "Look, James, at how they shrink away in fear."  
"Um, Jessie," said James, "I don't think it's fearthey're shrinking from." Jessie looked down to see herself being carried along by a conveyor belt.  
"Huh!" she snorted, jumping off. "That was a dirty trick!"  
"Oh yeah?" said Ash stepping forward. "Bet you wish you'd thought of."  
Jessie and James waited for the end of this sentence, but it never came, for Ash had inadvertently stepped onto a conveyor belt. Meowth popped out from under the table, and giggled.  
The box below the table whirred and beeped, and Ash screamedas the conveyor belt sped up.  
"Well done, Meowth," said Jessie.  
"Shouldn't we see what's wrong?" suggested Brock to Misty.  
"Yeah. But in a minute." she said, fluffing up the cushion behind her.

It wasn't long beforeAsh had got up, leading to a slight sighing from everyone else in the building, whohad been watching Ash's struggles with vague amusement.  
"Now," he said wearily, "we can finish this!"  
Not wanting any more trouble, Ad quietly lay down a card and whispered "Fuchsia Gym."  
Team Rocket noticed Pikachu sitting, unguarded, in the middle of the area (indeed, it had fainted earlier due to being stuck on the speeding conveyor belt with Ash. They dashed towards it, but they hit something, and collapsed.  
"It's an invisible wall!" said Brock in amazement.  
Team Rocket shook themselves, and, faced with a now awake and also not inconsiderably angry Pikachu, decided to go back to the balloon. James ran towards it, but again hit something.  
"We're trapped in a barrier of walls!" he said, before collapsing.  
"But the machine - shouldn't it be doing something now?" snapped Jessie.  
"Well," said Meowth. "I only brought the settings for sabotaging Viridian Gym because that's the one that works best."  
"That's enough!" shouted Ad. He picked up one of the previously used cards. "Cerulean!"  
The table opened up, and with a hugesplash Team Rocket fell into the water. Ash smiled at Pikachu.  
"You know what to do, buddy."  
Pikachu smiled back. "Pika!"  
It fired a huge Thunder attack at the water, whichelectrified it, and sent Team Rocket flying.  
"Look's like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" shouted James. Ad looked at Ash and smiled.  
"You did well. If I weren't a member of the Alternative League I'd give you the badge now. But I still haven't finished. Misdreavus, go!" The blue ghost hovered over the water.  
"Go, Pikachu!" shouted Ash.  
Ad lay down another card and shouted "Cinnabar!"

An expanse of lava flowedfrom beneaththe table, causing it to float upwards. Misty and Brock ran away as the benches were engulfed. They joined Ash.  
"That's not very safe, is it?" cried Misty.  
Pikachu and Misdreavus fought, neither gaining the upper hand.  
"Body Slam it, Pikachu!"  
Misdreavus dodged, and Pikachu nearly flew over the edge of the table into the lava.  
Ash gasped, and thought quickly - he had to end this soon.  
"Knock away the cards!"  
Pikachu leapt onto Misdreavus and over onto Ad's area. With a kick of his back foot, he sent all the cards butone into the lava. This card Pikachu held up, and Ash saw that he was Ecruteak. Ad, however, was scrabbling for the other cards, and did not notice.  
"What happened?" cried Ad. "My cards!"  
"Pikachu, kick Misdreavus into the lava!"  
"No!" yelped Ad, pushing the last card forward. "Ecruteak!"  
The stage and the lava disappeared. Pikachu, however, remembered well his batlle with Morty, and jumped from invisible floor to floor with ease. Misdreavus floated high above him.  
"Attack, Misdreavus!"  
Misdreavus swooped down to slam into Pikachu, but Pikachu leapt onto its back, and pulled it down. At the last moment, it let go. Pikachu just landed on the edge of a section of invisible path, but Misdreavus plummeted into the depths below.

Ad stared blankly.  
"I guess this means you win. Drat."  
Ash approached him. "Where's my badge?"  
"Here." Ad pressed a small glowing object into Ash's hand.  
"The Change badge. Take it." Ash looked at it. It was pulsating with different colours, which changed every second.  
"Made with the centre of a Starmie. Well I never." said Ad, still blankly staring into the distance. Ash turned to leave.  
"Wait." called Ad. "I have something to ask." He looked down. "Can I please come with you?"  
Ash thought for a moment.  
"I can guide me to where the other gyms are."  
"Certainly," said Ash.  
And so, with the first Alternative League badge attached to his jacket, Ash sets offon another great adventure.

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R&R and Finish Your Fics!

GOODNIGHT!


	2. No Taking Chanseys

The story so far...Ash discovers a gym on the route just before Mahogany. This is a gym in a totally different league to the rest (literally). Ash battles hard, and wins the Change badge. Now the leader, Ad, is showing him around the gyms of the Alternative League.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, but I do own Ad, and a couple of other things too numerous to mention. This story is by Penpal's chum. If the name "The Alternative League" has been used before, then...drat. Sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy the second chapter, ingeniously titled...

**No Taking Chanceys  
**

* * *

"Where are we headed off to now?" asked Ash to Ad. Ad looked at the map, and fumbled around with it for a second.  
"We have to go to here. No, hang on. Ah yes, this one. It's Azalea Town."  
"Whoa," said Misty. "Thank God we can use Fly, or we'd be walking all the way there!" She laughed for few seconds.  
"There is a problem though," said Ad, and Misty stopped suddenly.He continued, "To get to the Gym, we have to walk through Ilex Forest."  
"Oh dear." Brock sidled over to Ad. "I don't think that'll go down well with Misty. She hates bugs."  
"I just hope she didn't hear," whispered Ad back, as Misty fell to her knees in realization of what Ad had said.

"This was a bad idea..." said Misty as she grabbed onto Pidgeot for dear life.  
"Hey, you think you've got problems? I guess you don't know how hard it is to ride a ghost," muttered Ad.  
Ash checked his watch. "Hey, Goldenrod is right below us. Take me down, Heracross!"  
Heracross descended, and the others followed on their Pokémon.  
In Goldenrod City, Misty ran to the shopping centre, with Ash, Ad and Brock trailing after her.  
"What do you think you're doing?" bellowed Ash to Misty as they neared the centre. Misty stopped for a moment.  
"I'm getting some Repel before we go into that icky forest!" She dashed off again into the centre. Ash sighed.  
Before too long (although the three waiting outside would have begged to diifer) everyone was ready. Ash steppedinto the forestfirst, joined by Ad and Brock. They were almost past the first bend when Ash realised that something was up - or, rather, not up where it should be.  
"I am not going into that forest again! I can remember what happened last time, you know!" cried Misty from outside the forest.  
---Flashback---  
"I don't like this," said Misty as they walked through the forest. "I keep getting a feeling I'm being watched."  
Ash looked back at Misty, eyes closed. "Oh, you're just being silly." He opened his eyes. "Take that back take that back take that back!"  
"What is it?" said Misty. Over Misty's shoulder Ash could see a pair of red glowing eyes. He held up his Pokédex.  
"_Scyther. This Pokémon has two sharp wing blades, which it uses to attack_," it blurted. Misty looked, trembling, behind her. The Scyther burst out of the shadows.  
---The present---  
"You're right," said Ash thoughtfully. "That was pretty nasty. But now you've got those Repels that won't happen."  
Misty looked at her feet. "O.K. then. If you're sure," she said, stepping forward into the forest.  
They walked silently through the forest, Misty clutching a bottle of Repel and spraying it at everything even vaguely resembling a tree in the vicinity. And then, in the bushes, something rustled.  
Ash noticeda small pink feather snagged on a thorn. Hebeckoned the others towards the bush, and for a moment they stood there, motionless. Suddenly, a Chansey popped out.  
"What's that?" said Ash, taking out his Pokédex.  
"_Chansey. Whoever eats a Chansey egg is said to become blissful and kind for a long time afterwards_," it stated.  
"It could do Gary some good to eat one of those," Ashmused, "so I'm gonna catch it! Pikachu, go! Use Thunderbolt!" A bolt of lightning came down, hit Pikachu and bounced onto Chansey. It stopped dead in its tracks, covered in soot.  
"Alright then, PokéBall, go!" shouted Ash. At that moment, a small girl appeared. Ash dropped the Ball.  
"Please don't hurt Chance!" she cried out.  
"Who are you?" said Misty to the girl.  
"Never mind who you are, do you want to know who I am?" said Brock, dazed. Misty grabbed his ear and pulled him away.  
"I'm Eliot," said the girl, calmer now,"and this is my Chansey, Chance. We have a problem. You see, Chansey wants to evolve, but I've trained her as hard as possible, and used all my Evolution Stones, but it won't work. Do you know how I can evolve her?"  
Ash got his Pokédex out, and asked 'what level does Chansey evolve at?'.  
"_No data_," said the Pokédex.  
"Dumb machine," said Ash, annoyed.  
There was another noise in another nearby bush, although no-one noticed, except Misty. She emptied an entire bottle of Repel into it before returning to Chance.  
Meowth yelped, and made to run away.  
"It's just a spray, Meowth," said Jessie. "There are more important things - like capturing that Chansey!"  
"Yes," said James. "If what the twerp's Pokédex said is true, anyone who eatsthe egg becomesreally happy."  
"Happy enough to give us a pay rise, do you think?"  
James nodded his head slowly. "Yeah. If we feed it to the boss, he might even promote us!"  
All three of them thought about what it would be like to become Senior Grunts - or even Giovanni's guards.  
"Right then," said Meowth. "Our mission: capture Chance the Chansey!"

"I can't think of a thing."  
Ash sighed at hearing what Misty said. "That's everyone."  
"Well, perhaps we should go to the Pokémon Centre to see if they know anything," suggested Brock.  
"Yes. We need to heal our Pokémon after our fly as well."  
There was a cackle. "When we've finished, you won't have any Pokémon to heal!"  
"Oh no..." said Ad.

"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all people within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"Jessie!"  
"James!"  
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"  
"Meowth, that's right!"He leapt towards Chance."Now the motto's finished, let's grab Chansey!"  
Eliot stood in front of Chansey. "You can't take Chance!"  
"We already have!" shouted James, as a long Hitmonlee-style arm came out of the Meowthballoon and grabbed Chance. It struggled to get free, but couldn't.  
"Sunflora, I choose you!" shouted Eliot, and the plant burst out of its PokéBall. It sent a Vine Whip out, and the vine fumbled with the claw. It managed to prise Chance out.  
"You won't get away that easily!" shouted Jessie as the claw came back.  
"Chance, no!" shouted Eliot. There was a slight pause, and then Chansey took an egg and hurled it into the claw. It grabbed it, and thought it was Chance. It returned to its base.  
"_This attack is called Egg Bomb,_" said Dexter from the Pokédex.  
"Stupid robot arm!" yelled Jessie.  
James looked at the arm as it jerked away from the hole it came out of. "I don't think you should have said that."  
The arm picked up Team Rocket and hurled them into the air.  
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off...AGAIN!" shouted Meowth as they flew off.

Eliot ran up to Chance. "Wow, you were brilliant!"  
She hugged Chansey and lifted her up into the air."Chance, I want you to know this, above all else. Whatever happens,I love you." Chance glowed for a few seconds. Eliot stepped back.  
"What's happening to Chance? Chance?"  
"_Chansey is evolving into Blissey through happiness_," said the Pokédex.  
"Wow," gasped Misty. "How romantic."  
"Ohh...Blissey!" cried Eliot in happiness.  
And so, the heroes set off away from Ilex Forest, happy in the knowledge they had helped Eliot evolve her Chansey.

* * *

What do youthink? Please R&R, and I'll write another one soon. Bye then, and Finish Your Fics! 

GOODNIGHT!


	3. The HM Gym

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Ad.

This is chapter 3. So far, the gang have got one badge, and helped a girl called Eliot evolve her Chansey into Blissey. But they face a new challenge in...

**The HM Gym**

* * *

"We're almost out of the forest." Misty sighed in relief. "Thank God that's over."  
"I thought you said," Ash said, puzzled, to Ad, "that we had to do something special to get to the second AlternativeLeague gym."  
"Yes," confirmed Ad, "and it's just here."  
In front of the group was the Forest Shrine.  
"Alright!" cried Ash. He ran towards the shrine, but unfortunately he failed to notice the large sapling in front of him. He was sprung backwards into the tree behind him.  
"Wow." Brock thought for a moment. "This is a really strong sapling. I don't know how we shall cut it."  
There was silence for a second.  
"I don't know how we shall CUT it," repeated Brock.  
There was a slightly more strained silence here.  
"Look, could one of you please just cut down the sapling?" asked Brock.  
"Oh, Cut,"said Misty. "I've got it. Starmie, go!"  
Starmie burst out of its PokéBall. Misty cried, "Use Cut!"  
The starfish Pokémon started spinning, and flew into the sapling. It snapped.  
"Why didn't you just do that before?" said Brock, irked.  
"I didn't hear you," said Misty.  
"Yeah - there was this small echo which must have been your voice, but nothing else. Like the wind was taking it away," pondered Ash.  
"What wind?"  
"That wind," gestured Ad. The doors to the Shrine were now open; Ad flew into them. There were some sounds like old plumbing for a moment, and thenthe Shrine was consumed in a bright light.  
Ash felt dizzy; he felt rather as if he was being split to pieces and pulled through the shrine.  
A moment later, he was lying on his back in a strange field. There were boulders, saplings and lakes everywhere. A woman towered over him.  
"Come on, you need some rest. And I think your Pokémon do as well."  
"Who are you?" asked Ash, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. The woman kneeled down.  
"My name is Mint. I'm the Ilex Forest gym leader, but I also own a nature park. I moved to the inside of the shrine they built for me, and in return I stop evil from overcoming the forest." Mint smiled. "It's a good deal, I reckon."  
"Mint! How glad I am to see you again." called a voice. Ash turned his head. Ad was floating towards them.  
"Ad!" said Mint in surprise.  
"You know her?" said Ash to Ad.  
"Know her? We are Gym Leaders in exactly the same League and you don't think I know her?"  
"Well sorry," said Ash sulkily, "but since your Gyms are so far apart, I thought it seemed a sensible question."

"Did you see how they just disappeared into the shrine like that?" said Jessie.  
"How do we follow them?"  
"Using the Super-Megnamatic-Shrine-Door-Buster!" saidMeowth triumphantly.  
"Since when did we have a Super-Megnamatic-Shrine-Door-Buster?" said James, puzzled.  
"I bought itfrom an online auction site yesterday," replied Meowth, and withdrew a long machine with a mechanical hand on the end. He pressed a button on the machine, and the hand extended towards the shrine doors. It paused, and then flung the doors open and quickly retreated.  
"Is that all?" asked Jessie. "I was expecting something more then tha-"  
And there was a glow, and they were split into pieces and pulled through the air.

"Where's the gym then?" asked Misty to Mint.  
"This is the gym. We fight in this huge field." replied Mint. Ash looked around him.  
"It looks really hard to navigate."  
Mint smiled. "Not for my Pokémon."

Mint and Ash were lined up on opposite sides of the field. Brock held a flag up at the side.  
"This will be a three on three Pokémon battle between Mint of the Ilex Forest gym, and Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town. Battle, commence!"  
"I choose you, Heracross!" said Ash, throwing up the PokéBall. Mint plucked a ball from her belt.  
"Pokémon, I choose you!" she said. Ash was puzzled; he couldn't see the Pokémon Mint had just called.  
Suddenly, a boulder just a few metres from where Heracross stood smashed into pieces. Heracross looked around quickly, and just managed to catch Diglett disappearing into a hole.  
"Where has it gone?" said Ash, looking around. Heracross felt a small piece of rubble come up from underneath. Suddenly, it shot into the air, making Heracross flinch. Diglett popped up underneath it.  
"What?" said Ash, taking his Pokédex out.  
"_This attack is called Dig_," it said.  
Ash typed in "can you smash rocks with it?"  
"_No_," replied Dexter, "_this attack is called Rock Smash_."  
"Don't patronise me,"frowned Ash, and the Pokédex emitted the auditory equivalent of a shrug.  
"Concentrate on the battle!" cried Misty. Ash raised his head to see Diglett pushing a large boulder over Heracross. It was trying to resist, but its power gave out and it fainted under the weight of the rock.  
"_Strength,_"explained Dexter.  
Ash ran over to where Heracross was buried."Heracross! Are you alright?"  
"Hera...hera hera," it replied. Ash sighed in relief. "Heracross, return."  
"Ready yet?" asked Mint.  
"I'm just getting warmed up! Go, Squirtle!"  
"And I choose Mantine!" cried Mint. ThePokémon burst out of its ball, and dove into a nearby pool. Squirtle jumped in afterwards.  
"Use Whirlpool!" shouted Mint. Mantine started to spin around. The water began to form into a vortex.  
"Surf around it and knock Mantine in!" called Ash. Squirtle crashed into Mantine, and the raywas about to be sucked in.  
"Use Whirlpool again!" said Mint. The whirlpool broke to pieces.  
"Well done, Mantine! Now use Waterfall!"  
A stream of water fell from a wall of boulders, and crashed into Squirtle. There was a silence. Then, Squirtle popped up again, barely able to battle.  
"Yes!" cried Ash.  
"Finish it off with Lock On and Fly, Mantine!" said Mint. Mantine flew upwards, locked onto Squirtle, and swooped.  
"Hide behind the waterfall!" called Ash. Squirtleslowly crawledbehind the waterfall as Mantine approached. As it smirked and began its final dive, Squirtle rolled over behind the waterfall, and, because of the Lock On, Mantine could not steer away. It glided into the falling water and fainted.  
"This is tense," said Jessie, who was watching from behind a boulder. "Whoever wins the final battle wins the match!"  
"So it won't be long till we know which Pokémon to snatch!" said Meowth with an evil grin.  
"This final battle will determine the match winner!" yelled Brock from the sideline. "It will be one-on-one. Opponents, battle!"  
"I choose you, Snorlax!" shouted Ash, whilst Mint called out a Typhlosion. Snorlax was a lot bigger than he was the last time he battled, and ready to fight for once. Ash smiled as he thought. "This'll be a doddle." Snorlax ran straight at Typhlosion. He tripped over a sapling, and almost crashed into it. Typhlosion stepped backwards, bewildered.  
"Whoa." Mint cupped her hands round her mouth. "Cut that sapling down before that happens again, then Cut Snorlax!" Typhlosion smashed the sapling, and swiped Snorlax with its claws. Snorlax almost lost its balance in pain.  
"Alright!" cried Mint. "Now use Flash to finish it off!" The Typhlosion's flame suddenly brightened up, and thehuman observershad to raise their hands to their eyes to avoid being blinded. It was all too much for Snorlax, and he fell over - right onto Typlohsion. Mint stared in disbelief asAshwas declaredthe winner.

"Good match!" said Mint to Ash. "Here's the badge."  
Ash looked at the badge. It was a square, with a tree on one side, the Sun and clouds on the other, a pool of water on another, and a boulder on the final one.  
"It's the HM badge. See. The tree is Cut, the Sun Flash, the clouds Fly, the pool Whirlpool, Waterfall and Surf, and the boulder Strength."  
"Okay..." said Brock.  
"I think we should go now. We've done all we can here."  
"Bye Mint!" said Ad. "See you in the next League meeting!"

And so, with the second badge under his belt, Ash walks off from his adventure, friends following, to a new journey.


	4. Setting Sale

Yes, chappie 4! Here it is, after 2 badges and 1 adventure; Misty gets shopping fever in Goldenrod City! We meet Whitney again! And some others...  
  
None of which I own, and I don't own Pokémon either. No, but seriously...Penpal's chum does not want to be sued. So here we go, with...  
  
**Setting Sales**

* * *

"Goldenrod City: we're here at last!" exclaimed Brock, sitting on a bench. It had been tiring, Flying from Azalea to here.  
"Alright." Ash sighed. "We can get to the next gym now. Come on, Misty...Misty?"  
Misty's eyes were sparkling as she looked around at all the shops. She rushed into the city.  
"I'll be with you in a minute!"  
Ad sighed. "This is going to be a looong day," he said, floating after the others.

Misty looked at all the shops she passed. They all had one thing in common: a sale. There was a particularly nice jewelry shop, called the Jeweler de Rocket. Misty looked for the sale sign; it was hidden behind another sale sign.   
"There must be a real rush for competition going on, with all these sales," she thought as she entered the main department store.

"Where on Earth has that girl got to?" thought Ash as he entered the market. He spotted the jewelers, and thought.  
"Well, they do say that diamonds are a girl's best friend," he said as he walked in.

Brock was taking the exact same path as Ash until he caught, out of the corner of his eye, a glimpse of a particular Pokémon salon we all know and love...  
"Suzie!" he cried as he walked through.  
"It's lovely to see you again. I haven't seen you since who knows when."  
"Oh Brock! I'm delighted to see you as well. And Vulpix," she said as the fox Pokémon jumped into her hands, "I love you too."

Ad looked around for the Underground Passage. It didn't take long to find it, but-  
"Closed for the day," Ad read. "Oh nuts! We have to stay in this city for another day! We must go to the Gym and sleep there." And so he floated off, and looked for the Gym.

"Welcome," said a strange voice as the bell of the jewelers tinkled. Ash looked for the man owning the voice, and for a moment thought it was James when he saw him. But it was just the weird hairdo. He had seen him before though.  
"Sit down," said another woman, that sounded like Jessie. Ash knew her from somewhere too.   
"This is the Jeweler de Rocket. The jeweler you'll never leave–if we can help it!"   
A trapdoor opened underneath Ash's chair, and he found himself in a large room which lots of caged Pokémon. Keeping them all in order was a Raticate.

"Why is everything on sale?" asked Misty to a woman on the top floor as she bought some Fresh Water.   
"The shopkeepers are being told to lower their prices so some maniacs can clear them out, and take over Goldenrod City."   
"What? Who are they?"   
"Some bloke with weird hair, and a woman whose hair is equally weird."   
Misty turned. "That sounds like Team Rocket!" she thought.   
And she thought about the Jewelers de Rocket.

"Why isn't anybody here?" asked Brock to Suzie, as she stroked her Pokémon.   
"Because they've opened another shop that sells Pokémon jewelry. All the Pokémon salon business goes there."   
"I think we should check out this salon..." said Brock suspiciously.

Whitney was jogging around her gym, weaving in and out of the stones and plant pots. The doors burst open, and Ad flew in.   
"Whitney, can me and my friends stay here the night? The underground tunnel's closed today."  
"Sure, Ad–but where are your friends?"   
"Wandering around Goldenrod. I'll go round them up." So Ad headed to the jewelers, having seen Ash enter.

The three friends met outside the jewelers. Ad asked the others why they were there.   
"Because Suzie here," said Brock, stepping back to reaveal Suzie, "is having people drawn away from her talent by this shop."   
"I came here to find Team Rocket, because they're trying to take over Goldenrod City."   
Ad stared. "I came here to get Ash," he said, "and if what you say is true, we had better hurry."

Ash himself was wandering around, Pikachu by his side, trying to find an exit. As he squeezed between two cages, he noticed two people talking to a screen. He quietly peered in.   
"We have plenty of Pokémon, like you ordered. I'm glad you choose us over Jessie and James. They would never get the job done."   
Something in Ash's brain clicked. The Raticate...   
"We've got the shopkeepers to put everything on sale too. Our takeover of Goldenrod City is almost complete!"   
"Not if I can help it," whispered Ash, sending Pikachu to find Raticate, and he started to open the cages.

It didn't take long for Pikachu to find the rat. He was looking at the cages and making sure the Pokémon didn't try to break out. Pikachu crept up, and used Thunder Wave. Raticate fell over, paralyzed, just as the Pokémon started to rush by.

"Brinnnnnnnnng!" went the bell as Misty rang it.   
"Hello? Jewelry people, where are you?" Two people quickly rushed up behind the counter.  
"Um, hello there. What would you like?" said the lady.   
"We would like you to show who you really are, Jessie and James!" said Brock.   
"Jessie and James!" said the man. "H-h-how dare you compare us with those brats! We are..."  
"Cassidy!" shouted Suzie.   
"And Burch!" followed Brock.   
"THE NAME'S BUTCH!" screamed Butch.   
"Get ready for a Pokémon battle! Go, Raticate!" cried Cassidy.   
"Go, Starmie!" shouted Misty. She turned to Ad and Brock.   
"Go find Ash, and bring him up here. Please hurry."

Ad and Brock found the trapdoor soon enough, but there was a problem; it was locked. Brock released Geodude to help, but it didn't work. However, it jiggled the bar in the lock enough for Ash to release Charmander to help from below.   
"Charmander, melt the bar to open the trapdoor!" The lizard Pokémon obeyed, and the door was open. Ash slowly pushed upwards. The door creaked up for a second, then jammed. The hinge was rusty, and Ash could not push it open. Ad and Brock walked back to Misty and Team Rocket.   
"We've found him," whispered Brock to Misty when they got back. Misty turned. For a split-second, her attention was divided. Cassidy used the opportunity.   
"Raticate, use Bite!" Starmie was unable to dodge as Raticate lunged towards it, and it fell, its core flashing. Misty rushed over. Cassidy and Butch stepped forwards.   
"Raticate, fin..."   
A wave of Pokémon burst out, and flew into Raitcate. They started flapping and biting and kicking at it, and a Pikachu jumped away from the crowd. It glanced at Butch and Cassidy with an evil look. It then called down a huge Thunder attack, which blasted Butch and Cassidy. Starmie had recovered enough to slowly stand up, and use a Water Gun. It hit Butch and Cassidy full on.   
"And by the way, we are NOT saying...LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"   
There was a flash and a 'ting' noise in the sky.   
"And don't come back!" screamed Suzie.

Ash had burst out of the trapdoor along with the Pokémon, and was currently resting on top of the trapdoor. Misty rushed over to him.   
"Ash? Are you–alright?" Ash looked up slowly.   
"Yeah...I think so."   
"Oh Ash!" said Misty, hugging him for a second, and then drawing back.   
Ash stared, as Misty slowly stood up.

It didn't take long for them to get to Whitney's gym. As they unfurled the sleeping bags, Ash muttered something to Misty.   
"What did you do just then, back at the trapdoor?"   
Misty blushed. "Oh, um, nothing." She turned away.   
Ash wondered for a while, and then shook his head. What he wondered could not be true.

"Does she love me?"

* * *

There we go! It ends on a lovely note, don't you think? Thank you Sailor Evanescence for inspiring me to write this, and I'll see you again in – Chapter 5 is it? See ya!  
  
One Final Note: I am sorry if there is any city-wise discord. I'll try to sort it out as soon as possible. Also, there are two Raticate: one for Butch, one for Cassidy. 


	5. Nobody Likes A Cleverclogs

Hi! The 5th adventure of Ash and co...   
Thanks Misty, and I'll give a shout to Tsunami for the Pika Pika Monologue, which was pretty sad. Also, does anyone know where Saving Harvest Moon is? _[I know now, of course: gone. Boo hoo.]_ Send me the answers, and ideas, in with reviews.   
Anyway, it's time for the second adventure in Goldenrod, which I entitle...  
  
**Nobody Likes A Clever-Clogs**  
  
This claimer: Eh? It's not this claimer, because I'm saying I don't own Pokemon but do own Ad. I'll check, you read.

* * *

  
Ash woke up first. He shook Pikachu slowly awake from his side, and got up. He walked away, out of the gym. Pikachu paused for a moment, and then ran happily after Ash. Ash walked down to the Pokémon Centre. He looked down at his feet, and saw Pikachu clinging happily to his leg. He smiled, and continued. At the Centre, Ash picked up Pikachu and put him on the counter with the PokéBalls. Pikachu smiled as he lay on the stretcher. It didn't take long before Pikachu came happily back to Ash, along with the other Pokémon. Ash clipped them onto his belt, and carried Pikachu, who was curled in his arm, back to the gym. He laid him on his blanket, and then took a walk around the Gym. He was worried. Since yesterday, he had been confused. What did Misty do last night? He looked to her. She was curled up in her sleeping bag. He walked over to her, kneeled down, and smiled. Then he went back into his bed and fell asleep.   
  
After a while, when Misty awakened, Ash had fallen asleep. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Then she put her hands under her head and lay down again. She stared at the ceiling and thought. Why had she done that last night? It had felt so right... She wondered if she would ever have an opportunity to admit to Ash that she loved him. With all these troubles bounding around in her head, she fell in to a dazed sleep. 

At 9.00 in the morning, the cockerel of Goldenrod crowed. Everyone in the gym woke up slowly. Whitney disappeared into the kitchen for a moment.   
Brock pondered something for a second. "Do they still get Moo-Moo Milk deliveries?" he said to Ash.   
"Probably," he answered. "The farm isn't that far away."   
Whitney came out of the kitchen wearing an apron, and asked the gang what they wanted.   
"You do have Moo-Moo Milk, right? It's good for Pokémon. Isn't that right, Pikachu?"   
"Pika!"   
Whitney grinned. "Yep, I do. After breakfast, we can go down to the Underground Passage. It's open today."

After breakfast, the gang went down to the Passage. It had just opened. The gang walked down the passage, and didn't notice Ash being pulled aside by a woman in a weird cape.   
"I can sell you Herbs. They can heal your Pokémon."   
"Wow! I'll buy some Potion-effect herbs, please."   
The woman handed over a parcel of herbs. "Have a nice day,son."   
Ash ran and caught up with the rest of the gang.   
"Hey, Pikachu! I got some nice Herbs for you!"   
"Pika!" the electric mouse cried happily. It grabbed the Herbs and ate them.   
"Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiika!" it screeched. It dug inside its mouth, took the Herbs out and buried them.   
"What's wrong, Pikachu?" asked Ash. Pikachu held out a Bitter Berry. "Pika!"   
"It's too bitter? Don't worry, I won't get any more."   
"Pika," Pikachu said nodding its head, and they continued down the passage.

The passage was quite crowded, with people shopping. There was a Pokémon hairdresser there, where Whiney considered stopping, but was pushed along by a lot of angry glares from the rest of the crew; and some more herb shops, which Pikachu insisted on ignoring.

Opposite one of those shops, Ad stopped. There was a block of large rock there. Ad started rapping on it with his fist. There was some shuffling behind it. A large party of students passed in front of them, and when they had gone, so had the gang.

"Hey, thanks, Simon. You don't know how hard it is to conceal these places. I don't understand why you set up your gym here in the first place."   
"Oh, I had everything worked out." The tall man wearing glasses smiled. "I always do."   
The gym was at the end of a rocky staircase, which was hidden behind the rock. The gym itself was rather like Sabrina's, with pictures of eyes hung on the walls.   
("All rather intimidating, to be honest," commented Misty.)  
The man, Simon, was standing at the opposite end of the gym. His back was turned to the gang, but his head was turned so Ash could see his profile. This was how he knew about the glasses. The man suddenly turned around. He was holding a book (in the same style as Maxwell the ham- ham), with a desk behind him. The desk had two PokéBalls on it.   
"Hello, children. What do you want here? To have a look around the Museum?"   
"No," Ash cried. "We want to have a Pokémon Battle!"   
Simon looked taken aback. "That is not very wise. Are you sure you would rather not learn about my style of battling first?"   
"Yes, I am sure! So let's battle! Pikachu, go!"   
"Very well then. Alakazam, Xatu: go!" Simon threw the two Balls in the air.   
"That's cheating!" said Ash, alarmed.   
"It isn't. If you look around the Museum, it is perfectly legal. Alakazam, use Psybeam. Then, Xatu, use Confusion. GO!"   
The Pokémon both concentrated. A beam shot out of Alakazam's spoons and hit Pikachu straight on. The Pokémon struggled to its feet, to be knocked over by the waves emitted by Xatu. Pikachu couldn't stand it, and fainted.   
"Go, Bulbasaur!" shouted Ash. "I'll stay with mine, as if I have any choice," said Simon. The green plant-like Pokémon burst out of its ball. It dug its feet into the ground of the gym. Alakazam and Xatu were unruffled. Alakazam poured out another beam, and Xatu sent out another wave. Bulbasaur, however, managed to hold on. It used Razor Leaf on Xatu. But with its incredible intelligence, Xatu saw it coming, and easily dodged. Alakazam used Psybeam whilst Bulbasaur was distracted, and the fight was over.   
"What were you doing? None of that was fair!" shouted Ash angrily. Simon looked calmly on.  
"Oh, but it is," he smiled. "In the Museum, it details it fully. Perhaps it would increase your knowledge if you had a look around."   
"I don't need teaching from some stinkin' unfair Gym Leader!" said Ash, storming out of the gym. The rest of the gang sighed, and ran after him.

Ash sat in the waiting room of the Pokémon Centre. He miserably flipped open his Pokédex. He typed in 'cheating by using two Pokémon' and waited for the answer to flash up.   
"_Your search results for 'using two Pokémon'. Using two Pokémon at once is now legal under the Tag-Team Battle Act. Additional information can be gained from the Museum in the Goldenrod Passage, or at any Pokémon Centre_." In a quieter voice, it added, "_Thank you for using Pokoogle search engine_."   
Ash angrily marched up to the counter, and passed the Pokédex to Nurse Joy. She bent down and heaved a long book out from under the table. She turned to the Contents page, and ran her finger down it. She stopped.   
"Here you are young man. The Tag-Team Battle Act is here on page 4,785. The Museum is near here - "   
Ash took the book, looked angrily at the nurse, and stomped back to the waiting room. Nurse Joy shook her head.   
"Kids today...won't believe anything they don't know for themselves. He's probably been beaten by Simon. Why do kids never look in his Museum first?"

The Chanseys wheeled Pikachu back on the stretcher a few minutes later. Ash was stubbornly reading the Act, and would not be disturbed, so the Chanseys left Pikachu on the seat. He happily bounded up to Ash, but Ash was angry.   
"Get off of me, Pikachu," he said, swiping at the well-meaning rodent. Pikachu's ears drooped. He turned away and went over to Misty. She stroked him.   
"Don't worry Pikachu, he can just be a little stubborn sometimes." She looked up into the sky. "Believe me, I should know."

A long while later, Ash slid down from his chair, closed the book, and slammed it onto the counter. He grunted and walked out. Misty rushed after him.   
"Ash, you've forgotten your PokéBalls! And Pikachu!" Ash slowly turned around.   
"I want to be left on my own."   
Misty stepped back. "Ash is really miserable," she thought, "I've got to do something."   
  
At the gym, Ash looked through the Museum. A man crept up behind him. "So. You came back."   
"Back off. I don't want to fight. I want to know how to thrash you."   
Simon backed away. "Wise boy," he said. "Knowledge will get you everywhere. That is what my Pokémon know."   
Ash looked at the walls of the maze-like Museum. They were covered in pictures of battles, and combinations of Pokémon. He looked to see if there were any he had. But he couldn't find any. The closest one he could find was a picture of a Magmar and a Nuzleaf working together. He copied it into the notepad Tracey had given him. Then he sat and thought.   
From above, Simon watched him. He smiled. Then, he took out a pen, and wrote the name 'Ash Ketchum' on a slip of paper. He looked at a blank wall.   
"This will be the first name to go on there," he thought.   
Above the wall was the label 'Successful Opponents.'

Ash walked into the Pokémon Centre a bit happier. He had formulated a plan. He walked up to the counter and got Bulbasaur and Charmander, and told Joy to put the rest in the computer. Joy smiled, and did as was asked of her. Ash walked over to the rest of the group. They had gone. He span around, and saw a sign saying 'Beds'. He walked in, and shook his friends awake. He motioned to them with his hands, and they all set off to the gym.

Ash walked through the door of the gym. Simon turned.   
"I've come to challenge you!" Ash shouted. "And this time, I know what to do."   
"Good. Xatu, Alakazam, go!" shouted Simon.   
"Bulbasaur, Charmander, I choose you!" said Ash.   
"Alakazam, freeze both of them with your Psywave!" cried Simon. Alakazam fired a wave of energy, but Ash's Pokémon both managed to clear it. Xatu used Lock On. The next attack would hit Bulbasaur full on. Simon smiled a wry smile, thinking Ash would waste a turn protecting both Pokémon.   
"Bulbasaur, use Endure!" cried Ash.   
Simon murmured "So far, so good," to himself.   
"Now, Charmander, use Flamethrower!"   
Alakazam's eyes widened. He wasn't prepared for this. The flames hit him straight on and he keeled backwards. It was far too hot for him. He slowly rocked backwards, and fainted. Xatu would have to fight on its own. It sang sweetly to itself as Ash waited to attack. It froze. Simon slowly said "Your turn." Ash gasped.   
"Wha-" He recomposed himself.   
"Charmander, Bulbasaur, use Tackle!" The two Pokémon charged into Xatu. It blundered backwards, and then flew into the air. As Bulbasaur stepped back, it flew down and slammed into it.   
"Wing Attack," Simon explained.   
Bulbasaur immediately used Recover. Charmander stepped in front of it, and used Flame Wheel. It narrowly missed Xatu.  
"Use Take Down!" said Simon. Xatu leant back, then charged into Ash's Pokémon. It weakly staggered back. Just as Ash was about to cry "Recover!" Simon paused the match.   
"Do you know what attack was played three rounds ago? It was Perish Song. Three rounds after it is played, everyone in the battle faints."   
"You mean-" stuttered Ash.   
"That's right," Simon said. "You have one turn to win the battle."

Ash thought. How could he combine Charmander and Bulbasaur's powers to win the match? His mind flashed back to the Magmar and Nuzleaf picture. He smiled as he realized what to do.  
"Bulbasaur, hold out your Vine Whip." Bulbasaur did so.   
Ash slipped down and whispered to Charmander. Charmander nodded. He turned to Bulbasaur, and a jet of flame burst from his mouth. Bulbasaur's Vine Whip ignited. Panic-stricken, Bulbasaur slammed the Vine Whip into Xatu. The force of the flaming whip threw Xatu into the wall, out for the count. Ash had won the battle.

"Well done," said Simon to Ash as they shook hands. "You've earned this." He held out an eye-shaped Badge with 1089, 37, 3.1416 and 1.618 emblazed on it.   
"It's the IQ Badge," said Simon, seeing Ash's puzzled look.   
Ash looked up at Simon, and cheered. "Alright! I got another Badge!"

And so we leave our friends as they leave the passage and head off to their next adventure.

* * *

Like it? Due to a mix up in chapter order, buy this chapter get one (Chappie 6) ABSOLUTELY free!   
The special numbers (including pi and phi) will be worshipped by any Murderous Maths readers on Tuesdays and Thursdays at your nearest church.

See y'all in chap. 7!


	6. The Parties In The Park

Hey, here's chap. 6 for y'all, there. The chum of Pen pal writes this as well, and all the others. Pen pal still has to write one...   
With three badges (Change, HM and IQ) Ash, Ad & co. set off for another Gym. But they have to get around to the place first...   
Sit back, fast forward over the Disclaimer, and listen to the story I call...  
  
**The Parties in the Park  
**  
Notes: I have not seen the Pokémon anime (Master Quest), as it is not shown on non-Sky, so it won't correspond. I do not own Pokémon, but I do own Ad, and some of the trainers of the various Parties.  
Actually, I've seen the bug-catching ep, but I can't remember the girl's name. Tell me in a review, and I'll get it changed for ya.

* * *

"We gotta go to Ecruteak City next," said Ad, consulting the map. "I don't think there's any point in Flying; it'll just tire our Pokémon out."   
Ash pondered for a moment, and looked at his Pokédex map. "Yeah," he said, "I don't mind passing through the National Park. It's Tuesday, so the Bug Catching Contest is on."   
"BUG Catching!" screamed Misty. "I thought we'd stopped with the bugs in Ilex Forest!"   
"Don't worry, you can watch from the sidelines while we have fun." said Ash sarcastically.

A while later, the gang reached the National Park. Ash walked up to the booth, with Ad, Brock and Misty.   
"I'd like to register for the contest. My friends here would like too as well." He gestured to Brock and Ad.   
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to be a Party, not individuals? You can work as a team instead of competing." The man in the booth pulled out a special form from underneath the table.   
"Sounds brilliant!" said Ash, Ad and Brock in unison. The man started to sign, but then he hesitated.   
"I'm afraid you need four people in a party." Ash & co turned to look at Misty.   
"Oh no." she said. "You're not dragging me into this."

Minutes later, the Alternative Party...   
("Who chose that? It sounds rubbish," whispered Misty.  
"The author," sighed Brock.)  
...of Ad, Ash, Brock and Misty strolled into the Park, and looked around. There were no individuals, just groups. One group was dressed in yellow and black. A member looked strangely familiar to Ash...   
"Cassandra!" cried Ash as he ran towards her. The girl in yellow-and-black turned.   
"Ash!" she cried in surprise. "Have you still got your Chikorita..." Ash started to ask, but Chikorita burst out of Cassandra's bag by way of answering first.   
"Chiko!" it said happily.   
"Are you working on your own?" they both asked each other at the same time. They immediately answered in unison "No."   
"Who is in your Party?" asked Cassandra to Ash. He pointed to his friends, who where searching through the long grass for each other.   
"The Alternative Party," he said dryly, "what about yours?" Cassandra turned to the huddle of people. They span around.   
"Party Electabuzz will beat all the rest!" they chanted. As Ash's party stumbled out of the long grass, Cassandra's started dancing to the Electabuzz team song. Misty grabbed Ash and pulled him away from the Party, saying, "We need as much time as possible to catch," she shuddered, "bugs."

* * *

**A Short Interlude by Dexter**

There were about 4 other parties in the Park that day. Luckily, Brock was able to gather enough information to jot a quick scribble in the margins of his guidebook. We are fortunate to be able to take a peek inside.  
  
A new rule has been introduced to the National Park: it is possible to work as a team, or 'Party'. Parties consist of four people, whose Pokémon are linked in some way (like a Fire Party). This means specialists at, say, wading through long grass, can do this while others do other things (we are definitely not specialists at wading through long grass). The prize is shared, as Parties generally travel together, if not before than after, hopefully becoming friends at the Park.  
  
In the blank pages at the back, Brock has helpfully written a list of the parties in the Park. We shall meet them later, and I, Dexter, will supply you with the full list after the Voiceover Man has finished.

* * *

"We need a plan," said Ad, helpfully if not obviously. In his hand he had the map of the park. It was split into long grass, short grass, sides, and trees.   
"I'll search at the sides," burst in Misty, adding quietly, "where there isn't any grass - or bugs."   
Brock thought. "My Pineco can Headbutt the trees, so it leaves Ad with the long grass and Ash with the short."   
"Alright!" said Ad and Ash, doing a high-five. "We can stay together. My long grass is near your short."   
So, when they had all split up, Ad and Ash would meet up and chat in the middle of the grass. It didn't take long before Ash and Pikachu caught a Level 7 Caterpie, Ad and Misdreavus caught a Level 7 Kakuna, and Brock and Pineco caught a Level 6 Weedle.   
(Misty, of course, caught nothing. However, this was about to change...) 

Hiding behind the bench, the Butterfree stared with its big, round eyes at Misty, who was sitting on the adjacent bench. She floated behind her, and looked for a Pokémon.   
Togepi slowly poked out from behind her, and the Butterfree, happy in the knowledge it would be a fair fight, darted out.   
Misty screamed. Togepi, hidden from view, slowly waggled its fingers. A huge tornado suddenly swept in from the trees on the side. Misty ran out of the way, but the Butterfree was caught. It fell to the ground, almost fainted. Misty quickly pulled out a Park Ball, and opened it for Butterfree. It came in, and the Ball locked.   
"_You have caught a Level 16 Butterfree,_" blared Dexter.   
Misty screwed up her eyes in confusion.   
"Level 16? But I thought you could only get Level 15 or lower..."

Ash and Ad met up in the long grass. They were discussing techniques when the grass ran out.   
"Oh no!" exclaimed Ash. "We've come out of the Park!"   
"No you haven't." laughed a gruff voice from behind. A boy was wearing a leather jacket, and looking remarkably like Gary. "It's just the Fire Party burnin' up the grass."   
Ash span around. The boy looked down at him. Three other boys emerged from the grass. It was looking tough, when another four people emerged, dressed in blue T-shirts. The Fire Party was occupied for a second, so Ad and Ash backed away.   
"So, you're the Fire Party? Well, the Water Party is gonna crush ya!"   
"This means war!" The leader of the Fire Party threw a ball, and a Charmeleon came out. The leader of the Water Party was not ruffled however, and threw a ball containing a Wartortle.   
"I think it would be a good idea if we went now," said Ad, back to the grass. Wartortle was about to use Water Gun to enforce that suggestion, when-   
"Parties, your time is up! Return to the registering points now!" The two Parties sighed, returned their Pokémon, and walked off.

At the registration point, Ash and Ad met with Brock.   
"Catch anything?" he asked.   
"I got a Weedle, Level 6," said Brock.   
"Level 7 Caterpie," said Ash.   
"Level 7 Kakuna," said Ad.   
"I got nothing," said Misty, forgetting about the Butterfree.   
There was a slight pause, and some music. Then, the loudspeaker continued.   
"Third is the Fire Party, for a Level 10 Metapod."   
"Aw..." said the boy in the leather jacket.   
"Second is the Water Party, for a Level 12 Kakuna."   
"Wahoo! We beat ya!" cheered the leader of the Water Party.   
"And first is the Party Electabuzz for a Level 14 Pinsir."   
"Alright!" said Cassandra.   
Ash went up to her. "Well done."   
"Please give in your Park Balls to the official," the loudspeaker blared.   
Misty opened her knapsack and pulled out Butterfree's ball. She gave it to the man.   
"Hey, there's summin' in there!" he said. "It's a Level 16 Butterfree! I gotta tell the boss!"   
The official disappeared under the desk, and the loudspeaker came on.   
"Er, folks we have a newsflash...the winner is actually, with a Level 16 Butterfree, the...whatya called again?" The announcer poked his head over the desk.   
"The Alternative Party," said Ash.   
"The Alternative Party! They win the Sun Stone!"  
"I'll take it," said Ad, floating up to the stand, followed by the rest.   
So our heroes go off into the sunset, where they will meet with their next adventure.

The En...  
"Hang on! You can't end it! I haven't done my bit!"   
"What on Earth is Dexter moaning about?"   
Thanks for reminding me. May I borrow him?   
"Sure."

**

* * *

The Parties in The Park**

The Alternative Party: I think you know who these are. Ash and Pikachu, Ad and Misdreavus, Brock and Pineco and Misty and Togepi.   
The Party Electabuzz. Ash's friend Cassandra and Chikorita, Electra and Pichu, Wasp and Beedrill, and Hornet and Elekid.   
The Fire Party. The leader Jonathan and Charmeleon, Justin and Magmar, Hijack and Slugma, and Georg and Magcargo.   
The Water Party. The leader Jennifer and Wartortle, Joanne and Kingdra, Hackleigh and Marill, and Georgina and Azumarill.   
The Flying Party. We never saw this party, but Misty believes them responsible for the 'Gust' and not Togepi. It consists of Freda and her Pidgeot, Fraizer and Murkrow, Margiono and his Gligar, and Rika and Crobat.  
  
That is the end of Chapter 6 (sweatdrop). So, fanficfans (is that right?) see ya again in 7!


	7. Let's Party: Contains terrorism

Hallo! How y'all doing? Thanks again to Sailor Bryan...sorry, Evanescence. In this chapter of the fanfic, the gang get to Ecruteak to discover a massive festival - talking of festivals, does anyone know if Kid's/Children's Day and Girl's/Princess Day really exist - so here is the second of the party-themed chappies, named after a childish outburst from Toad...  
  
**Let's Party!  
**  
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS REFERENCES TO TERRORISM AND SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE OF A SENSITIVE DISPOSITION ABOUT THE AFOREMENTIONED SUBJECT.  
  
Disclaimer:IdonotownPokémonorAsh&thegangbutIdoownmemyselfandAdblahblahwhogiv esaninchblahblahblahyapyapyapONWITHTHEFIC!

* * *

"Thank God for that then!"  
Misty leaned back on the bench.  
"No more bugs! I think we deserve a rest."  
"Misty is right; we need to get to the nearest Pokémon Centre," said Brock. "We'll never be able to win a Gym Battle with our Pokémon weakened."  
"Alright, but we mustn't get caught up like we did," Ash glared at Misty, "in Goldenrod."  
And so the gang walked through the gates of Ecruteak, which are strangely empty. 

There was a loud bang, and an explosion flew into the air. Pikachu bolted behind Ash, as he peered into the distance. Another one immediately blew up behind them.  
Misty span around. "I think Team Rocket are here!" she cried, with a note of panic in her voice. Another rocket flew up, and the gang just turned around in time to see the rocket explode. But to their surprise, the rocket blew into sparks, which formed the words 'WELCOME TO THE ECRUTEAK CITY FESTIVAL'.  
Brock immediately opened the guidebook.  
"It says here that the Ecruteak Festival celebrates special Pokémon like Ghost- and Dark-types." He looked up. "The rockets must be for the festival."  
Ash sighed. "That's a relief."  
Pikachu crawled out from behind Ash, and fell over, exhausted from fear and relief.  
A wave of people suddenly rushed by, sweeping away the gang. The crowd was cheering and roaring. Once they had turned a corner, the gang picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and started all over again. Brock looked tearful.  
"What's wrong, Brock?" asked Ash, worried.  
Brock almost broke into tears as he said, "I was being carried along by four really pretty girls! And now they've gone!" Everyone except Brock anime-fell.

Lined up outside the (normal) Gym, the gang was very nervous - especially Ad, who had something serious on his mind. Ash gulped, and decided to break the silence.  
"Shall we go in?"  
Ad stared upwards, as everyone turned to look at him. "Oh, um, yes, let's go..."  
The heavy doors of the gym swung open.  
The room was familiar to Ash; this gym and its invisible path had helped him to defeat Ad. At the other end stood a man with a sweatband in his hair. He turned around.  
"Ash, Misty, Brock, how nice it is to see you all again."  
Ash scratched behind his neck humbly, to reveal a shaking Ad.  
Morty's eyes narrowed. "But not you."  
Ash turned to see Ad looking like a reflection of Morty in his eyes. "What's going on?"  
Without moving his stare, Ad calmly stated, "He cheated me. Do you ever wonder why I have a Misdreavus, and why it has to work so hard in the 'nursery'? Well, I'll tell you. Once, I had a Gengar. It was strong, Level 50, max stats. I was on my way to the top. As a trainer, I was in the Elite Four league. I auditioned for it. But, a day before the final tryouts, this beast," Ad's stare became harder, "suggested a trade. His Misdreavus for my Gengar. I was an enthusiastic boy back then. I agreed. But as soon as the deal was done, I found the Misdreavus had been Rare Candied (despicable things) up to level 50. I was furious: it was a weakling. I had to drop out of the tryouts. Of course, using Reverse Rare Candies (the best things, let you drop a level to increase stats) I managed to fix him. But to this day, I never forget that you could have met me as a member of the Elite Four. But because of him, you can't." Ad finished, and turned away.  
"You-" screamed Morty. "It was you that cheated me! That Gengar didn't obey me at all! It did its own thing, it hated me." Morty calmed down. "But a couple a' Rare Candies..."  
"Despicable things! How could you mistreat Gengar so?"  
"Shut up, you little..." Morty leaped forward in anger, and immediately fell off the side of the invisible path. He grumbled, annoyed, as he climbed the stairs back to his platform. Ash looked round, nervously.  
"I think things are going to get a bit confusing around here. Let's go."

Outside, the festival was not letting down. The gang waded through the crowds. In fact, the noise was so great it was easy to miss an unscheduled rocket, of which there were many, most let off by rouge kids. But some were let off by particularly rouge adults...

"Oh. My. God." Ash looked over the huge area. Misty sidled up to him.  
"What is it?"  
"I'd forgotten one of the most important things at a festival, and here it is!"  
"Here what is?" said Misty, puzzled, as she was facing the other way.  
"Food!" cheered Ash. Misty anime-fell as Ash and Brock ran up to a table and started piling things onto their plates. Sighing, Misty followed. As she passed the table Ash was on, she noticed a plate of fortune cookies. She stopped, and picked one up. She ran it through her fingers, and snapped it in half. Stuffing the biscuit in her mouth, she unrolled the fortune and read it. Her eyes widened as she finished reading. She looked behind her and saw Ash. With a sigh of relief, she tossed the fortune on the ground. Pikachu toddled up to it, stood on one end and unrolled the other. He was confused, as the fortune was written in very bad handwriting, so he could not read the message: 'The boy behind you will play a part in your life later on'.  
  
"Are you ultimately sure this'll work?"  
"Trust me. Have I ever come up with a bad idea?"  
"Well actually..."  
Meowth Fury Swiped Jessie before she could finish the sentence.  
"Okay, okay."  
"Well." Meowth closed his eyes. "Do you understand the plan? What am I saying? Of course you don't. Right then. We let off this Super-Pyro- Rockets, which look just like the festival rockets, and in the chaos and confusion created by them, we nab the Pokémon that are left out!"  
"Sounds brilliant!" said a voice from a bush. "I know someone in particular you could target."  
  
"Testing, four two seven, testing four two seven."  
Ash looked up from the table, spaghetti hanging from his mouth and fork.  
"The final part of the festival, the fireworks, will commence at 18 hundred hours next to the Burned Tower. Partygoers should make their way there immediately for a good view, but the field will be open to enter until the fireworks start. They will last one hour, and the three biggest fireworks will be let off halfway through. Thank you."  
Ash stood up. He turned to his friends. "Come on, we want a good view." And so they started shoving and pushing through the surge of people (sometimes literally when it came to Ghost Pokémon).  
"Wow! That one looks just like a Ho-oh. And that one, Chikorita!" The crowd was very excited. Including Ash.  
"Wow; look at that, Pikachu: it looks just like you."  
"Pika!" cried the mouse-like Pokémon.  
"And now, the time you've all been waiting for...THE BIGGEST FIREWORKS IN THE WORLD!"  
Accompanied by lots of cheering, four bright dots shot into the air. The first three shot straight into the air, but the last one keeled towards the crowd. Brock mused for a moment.  
"I swear there were only three..."

There was chaos and panic. The firework was heading straight for the crowd. And behind a bush three people and a 'cat' were the only people not part of the pandemonium.  
"No, steer it at him! That's what that man said to do!"  
"Yeah, but I'm trying to get the rest of the twerps!" Meowth sighed. It was no wonder that they had never caught any Pokémon. That odd bloke was going to be so mad they hadn't caught the flying adder thingy. Only he could save them.  
Meowth leaped onto Jessie's head, knocked away the remote, and started operating it. In the field, the firework ground to a halt, then, just before it hit the ground, fired off after Ad and Misdreavus.  
"Help!" screamed Ad as the missile screeched after him. Ash saw him pass.  
"I bet this is Team Rocket's doing. We've got to help Ad. Charmander, go!" The lizard-like Pokémon burst out of its PokéBall. As the firework screeched past it, it fired a jet of flame at it. It exploded. Ash started to cheer; until he saw the exploded bits zoom off together to pursue Ad some more.  
"Bummer." Ash thought for a second. "Okay, Bulbasaur, go!"  
Bulbasaur burst out of its 'Ball, and used Razor Leaf. Ash watched in dismay as the burning leaves set after Ad as well.  
"Okay, final try. Squirtle, go." Squirtle burst out. A leaf passed behind it. Immediately, Squirtle span around and shot a bullet of water at it. It dropped, spluttered, and attempted to hop along the ground looking suitably devilish (and, needless to say, failing).  
"Alright!"  
Squirtle continued, until it had only to face the main body. It fired a Hydro Pump, but the rocket moved through it. Squirtle tried again, but failed. But Ad cottoned on to what was going on, and ran around Squirtle. The turtle slowly revolved, firing Hydro Pumps at the firework circling it. After a while, it slowed, and fell to the ground. Ash walked up to it as Ad fainted in the background.  
"Just as I suspected," said Ash as he read the words on the firework:  
'Super-Pyro-Rocket™. If undelivered, please send to: Giovanni's Gym, Viridian City, Kanto, TR56 3DQ'.  
"We just need to know one thing: who sent this after Ad?"

"It was YOU!" said Ad threateningly to the man.  
"Yes. How did you guess?" said the man calmly.  
"Because, Morty, you have a grudge against me and I, against you."  
Morty started to slowly cross the invisible bridge.  
"I guess it was very predictable. I hope you understand," he said reassuringly, "that I did not want to hurt you. I just wanted you to know I did not like you. If you had been injured, I would have been right by your side."  
Ad smiled. "Thank you. I hope this may," with an accent on 'may', "just shorten the gap between us."  
Morty snickered. "Don't worry. It hasn't."  
And so we leave our heroes walking down to the Burned Tower to their next adventure, leaving a slightly less stern Morty behind them.

Just A Minute! (Da da daaaaaaaaa...)  
  
In Viridian City Gym, a parcel had just arrived. It had the word 'UNDELIVERED' scrawled across it. Curious, James opened it. Inside was a message.  
_'I noticed that this missile was undelivered. So, I sent it back. Love, Twerp 1 (Ash)_'  
Jessie, James and Meowth sweatdropped as they looked at each other. The package glowed a bright yellow.  
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"

* * *

And so we end this adventure. We've had fun, a rivalry that was obviously shoehorned in to stop Ad being a Gary Stu, and several minutes wondering whether Super-Pyro-Rockets™ look like Bullet Bills, where you can buy them, and whether it constitutes a terrorist alert if you sent one through the post. And so, in the immortal words of Frankie & Johnnie:  
  
This story has no moral,  
This story has no end,  
This story only goes to show,  
That there ain't no good in men.  
Please, don't have nightmares.  
  
GOODNIGHT!

* * *

A/N: Sorry if that thing about Super-Pyro-Rockets reminds anyone of 3/11. It isn't intended to. 


	8. Nyctophobia

OK, I'm really sorry about the terrorism references in the last chapter, but this one will be better.  
  
Thanks again to the Sailor for her third review. For this chappie, in the Burned Tower, Ash & co. find the next gym, but all is not as it seems. The question is that after facing a gym that attacks more than the Pokémon, Pokémon that only know HMs and two of the most intelligent Pokémon working together, will it all be too much for them, in...  
  
**Nyctophobia**  
  
Disclaimer: Oh COME ON! Do I really need to tell you I don't own Pokémon after counts on fingers one, two...EIGHT chapters do ya? Well, I won't tell you. So sue me. Not literally.

* * *

"Okay, so what are we doing in the Burned Tower?" asked Ash.  
Ad peeked over the map, which seemed to have grown four inches on each side since their last check.  
"Really?" said Ash, taking the map. "What extras have they included?"  
By way of answering, the first four inches on each side said SEA and in smaller font, WE RAN OUT OF BLUE INK.  
"OK, scratch that. But what are we doing here?"  
Ad wandered around, looking down one of the many holes. "You know that these holes lead to the basement?"  
"Oh yeah," said Ash, thinking back to the last time they were there.

* * *

Flashback  
  
"What a cool place," said Ash, looking up at the ceiling and walls.  
"Yeah, but all those holes are creeping me out!" said Misty, shivering.  
"All those what now?" asked Ash. He walked straight into a hole. "Oh nuts."  
  
End of Flashback

* * *

"Painful," said Ad.  
"Yeah, it was."  
"Well, anyway, one hole," Ad gazed down again, "leads to the basement's basement. And that," he said, staring down below, "is where we want to be."  
"Alright," said Ash, "but does the basement's basement have a basement?" Ad stared at Ash.  
"Now you're just being silly."  
  
"I think we're here!" said Ad triumphantly after a little while. In front of him was a large hole, so deep the bottom could not be seen.  
Misty stood back. "You expect me to jump down there? I don't know what's down there."  
"But I do. And it is totally safe. I'll show you." Ad hovered downwards.  
Misty shouted after him. "You can hover!"  
Ad floated back up again. "Sorry." He tucked his wings behind his body, and fell downwards; however, Misty was still not convinced.  
"Okay then, see you!" said Ash, jumping down. Pikachu and Brock followed him. Misty looked around the damp cave.  
"I'm not staying up here!"  
  
"Whooooooooaaaaaa!"  
Ash fell down for what seemed like an hour. The hole was deep and dark, and Ash had a hard time believing he was falling and not hallucinating because of the walls. Grey. More grey. And if you got tired of grey, there was grey as well. It was depressing, all the darkness and despair. Looking about him at the sadness, Ash was surprised when he hit something. Not hard. Not soft. It was...kind of wet. He sat up, and felt around him. There was a deep pool of water. Her pulled a PokéBall out and called out Squirtle. As he grabbed onto the dark shape of the turtle, he heard another splash behind him. That must be Misty, he thought. He asked Squirtle to swim to the edge, and soon he and the Pokémon were lying on the shore of the cave, soaking. He slowly wrung his trousers, grasping loose bits of the baggy cloth and squeezing them. A lot of water was pouring out of his clothes as he stood up, making him feel heavy enough to sit back down again.  
It was fifteen minutes before anyone dared to get up.  
  
"I don't like this place."  
"Was that you, Misty?"  
"Yes, it was me, Brock. Why?"  
"I didn't say anything."  
"Hang on." Ad drew a match from his wing and struck it against the wall. It lit, and Misdreavus split off a bit of ghost-air from itself and ignited it. It burned surprisingly well.  
"I could set fire to myself and feel nothing if I fancied," it thought to itself.  
"Thank goodness for that. It was pitch black back there."  
"Yeah Misty. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face."  
"Too right. How long'll it be until we reach the Gym, Ad?"  
"About two-and-a-half minutes, if we're lucky."  
  
Footsteps. The woman paced over to the door, and opened it. It creaked. She looked around. She could actually see in the darkness. She had been boxed down here for years – as long as she could remember. She hated it. Black. Everywhere outside was just the same as she felt inside. More footsteps. Talking. Snippets of casual speech. The woman cautiously stepped outside and surveyed the area. There was a gleam of light from the rocky corner. Startled by the brightness, the woman leapt inside, bolted the door, and adjusted the dark glasses she always wore. Murkrow flew down to comfort her.  
  
"Here we are," said Ad, holding the burning 'torch' up to the door. It was painted black, and had a hard steel door-knock. Ad banged it quietly. No response, apart from a hardly audible whimper. Ad knocked again, slightly louder.  
Still nothing.  
Ad rapped on the door impatiently, and shouted, "Mercy, it's me, Ad. Open up." The door creaked open. A dark-haired dark-skinned woman's face poked out from behind the door. She wore a pair of dark glasses, which were impossible to see through. She slowly lifted them for a second to study Ad's face, and then dropped them back over her eyes. Ash put the torch closer up to her face. She stepped back, and a small bird flew in front of her. Ash pulled out his Pokédex and turned it on, shielding the light from the woman's face.  
"_Murkrow is a Dark- and Flying-type Pokémon. They usually live in caves_," said the electronic box.  
"Jeez, what a lot of help that is," said Misty.  
"Come in. You challenge me? Have battle?" said Mercy, pushing the door open a bit more. The gang came through into the house. Mercy took the torch and blew it out. The house, if you could call it a house, was small, dark and damp. The woman crossed over to the other side of the room, and lay down on a rock. She pulled a sheet of withered leaves over her.  
"Make selves at home." Ash looked around, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. There were no beds, or a heater.  
"Why is it so dark?"  
"Me like dark. Me am lonely. Darkness comforts me. Make sure no one disturb silence. Make Murkrow feel good well." Mercy sat up and clapped her hands. A flutter in the darkness, and Murkrow flew over to her. She held its wing, and lay down again. It was not long before she fell fast asleep.  
  
"But why does she make it so dark?" Brock looked at Ash. They had gone outside of the cave so as not to hurt Mercy's feelings.  
"I guess she's just sensitive. She never has any visitors."  
"Hmm." Ash turned away. "That must be why she speaks...funny."  
Brock twisted to Ash sternly. "Ash, you cannot judge people on the way they speak." Ash shuffled back.  
"I'm sorry. It just stood out, that's all."  
Brock looked down. "I know you didn't mean to be hurtful, Ash. It's just...Mercy is a very fragile woman. Try not to annoy her."  
Ash smiled. "Don't worry. I won't."  
  
The next day (although it was hard to tell in the black cave) the first person up was Mercy. She slowly cooked breakfast, albeit small ("I only cook two. Me, Murkrow,") in a small stove. There was a fire in there, but it was buried behind rocks so no light could get in.  
As soon as breakfast was finished, Mercy put her hand on Ash's shoulder and said, "Now battle. Come."  
Mercy lead Ash to another room, sheltered from the main cave by a large rock. As soon as they were inside, Ash saw why: there were dim lamps inside which Mercy didn't like.  
"It's OK, you can turn the lights off. I can see, and so can Pikachu," he said.  
"No. Me insist, light on." Mercy walked to the other end of the arena.  
  
"You don't have a nose. How can you pick up the scent?"  
"The cartoonist said he'll let me get away with it for this chapter. Now don't ask questions!"  
Meowth crept along the cave sniffing the floor. He noticed a small lump. "Hey, what's that?"  
"Looks like candle wax," said James.  
Jessie thought. "Maybe it lights then."  
Meowth pulled a match out of nowhere and struck it against the wall. He lit the lump and it burned brightly.  
"C'mon, we can see now."  
  
"One Pokémon each. You understand? Who use?"  
"I'll use Pikachu. He's my strongest Pokémon!"  
"Well. I use Murkrow." Mercy clapped, and Murkrow flew out in front of her.  
"Alright then, Mercy. Let's go! Pikachu, use Thunder!"  
The attack flew through the air, lighting the stadium. Murkrow squinted in the bright light. He flew backwards, almost dashing to get away from the light. The Thunder split the ground in front of him.  
"Murkrow, murk Murkrow!" cried Mercy.  
"Wha-" screamed Ash, as Murkrow charged at Pikachu and used Bite. Pikachu stumbled backwards.  
"What did you do then?" shouted Ash.  
Mercy smiled. "Me no speak English. Me speak Pokémon instead."  
"No!" Ash sunk to his knees. "I'll never defeat her!"  
"Yes," came a voice, "but we will!"  
"Oh no..." said Misty, knowing whose voice that was...

"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all people within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"Jessie!"  
"James!"  
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"  
"Meowth that's right! Now that's done, let's battle!"  
"Is it just me, or is this really repetitive?" Ash called Pikachu back to him, bored.  
"Yes, but this time, we have darkness on our side!" Meowth blew out his torch, and all the other torches flickered out.  
"No! Now I can't see a thing!"  
"Arbok, use Poison Sting!" In the darkness, there was a muffed "Pika" sound. Ash blundered into the darkness over to Pikachu, and picked him up.  
"You were hit!"  
"Piii..."  
"Hang on." Ash reached into one of his pockets. "Here's a Potion."  
"Murkrow!" cried Mercy. Murkrow looked. "Murk murk krow!" Murkrow nodded, and crouched.  
Weezing, Poison...YEOW!"  
Meowth, startled, turned the lights on to reveal Murkrow pecking at Jessie and James.  
"Oww...uch...get off me, stupid bird!" Ash thought, and smiled a wry smile.  
"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt."  
"WHAT?" screamed Team Rocket. The Thunderbolt hit them full on.  
"Murk, murk Murkrow!" cried Mercy. Murkrow flew into Team Rocket, and they went flying out of the door.  
"LOOK'S LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF...AGAIN!"  
  
"Mercy, are you okay? Mercy?"  
"Leave her Ash. She's fainted because of the light."  
"Perhaps we should bring her to the Pokémon Centre."  
Brock considered. "That sounds like a good idea. Let's go."  
  
"Where me?"  
"You're in the Pokémon Centre. You're safe."  
"Light – so bright –glasses. Where glasses? Can't see without them!"  
"I have them here."  
Mercy sat up. "Glasses, and Murkrow? Where he?"  
"Murk!" Murkrow hopped onto the bed with Mercy's glasses in his mouth. Mercy stroked Murkrow then put her glasses on.  
"I go now." She swung off of the bed, and jumped down. She walked out.  
  
It hit her in the face. The world – not the world of blackness and dark she loved, but light and colour. She stumbled through it, scared. But every time she passed a person, she felt slightly more relaxed. In the end, just before she went into the cave, she had the courage to say "Good day you." When she got into the cave, she felt brilliant.

A little later, Ash, Misty, Ad and Brock popped around. Mercy was a lot happier, and opened the door.  
"Hello! You thank. Me happy now. So Murkrow." Ash looked around.  
"I guess you'll get lighting and a bed now?"  
Mercy stood up. "No. Me use to live like this. Me like light bit now. You thank."  
"Alright then. I guess we'll see you later." The gang left through the door. Just as Ash was going, Mercy stopped him.  
"Wait! You forget this." She held out a black thing shaped like a fifty pence piece.  
"It Dark Badge. Me registered Alternative League person, so me give Badge."  
"But – why?"  
"You introduce me light. Outside. Me go outside now. Me friendly. You thank."  
"OK then. Thank you. And – bye!"  
"Bye! Me see at Alternative Masters place!"  
  
"Alternative what?" asked Ash to Ad a while later.  
"Alternative Masters. You know the Elite Four? Our version of them. All the Gym Leaders have to confirm they gave you the Badges. We use it as a chance to meet. We only meet every so often in the Tin Tower here. But Mercy never comes. Too shy and isolated. Hopefully, that'll be different now."  
"Who are the Alternative Masters and Gym Leaders then?"  
"Oh God, no-one knows who the Alternative Masters are. The next Gym Leader is... don't know. I know where he is though."  
"Where?"  
"Route 12, Kanto. The old land. In a land called Hoeen, there is something called the Trick House, I think. Well, they've built one there. And that's where we're headed!"

And so, our heroes end the adventure Flying to Goldenrod to catch the Magnet Train back to Kanto. We will see them again soon.

* * *

So...how is it? Please review this, even if you aren't Sailor Evanescence, and the next chappie, "Back To The Past," is going to be out soon. And I know that the Magnet Train isn't fixed yet, but I don't care. Watch the episode in Celadon City, series one to find out about the nose thing. (And so, in the immortal words of Keroberos from Cardcaptors...  
  
See ya!  
  
Nyctophobia, n. Irrational fear of the dark.  
  
Source: _The Pen Pals Dictionary_ © 2004


	9. Back To The Past

Wahoo! I'm so happy ! I've got an Extendi-Slap™! You make it by folding up a piece of paper like a concertina, bending it until it is soft, and then you fold it in half. You can let go so it unfolds from being in half so it is the folded-up concertina, then you SLAP! Wahoo...ahem. So, here by popular demand...by demand of two people, I bring you...  
  
**Back to the Past  
**  
Rearrange the following words to make a well-known phrase: Not own Pokémon I do. Yoda I am. Not own Star Wars I do. Shut up I will.

* * *

"Wow. The Magnet Train looks awesome," said Brock admiringly.  
"Yeah. Shame we can't use it," said Ad.  
They were on a handcar, with Ash and Ad on one end and Misty and Brock on the other. They were traveling pitifully slow.  
"Hmm," thought Ash. "If the Magnet Train works on electricity, then...Pikachu, go!"  
Pikachu woke up and sprung to Ash's side.  
"Use Thunderbolt on the train tracks."  
Pikachu cocked its head, then followed the order. The tracks became electrified, and shot the cart away at the speed of light.  
"Good, PikaUUU!" Ash was electrocuted.  
Misty shook her head. "You stupid boy. Let go of the metal bar."  
  
A little later...  
  
"Look! A Sentret and a Furret! I'm gonna catch 'em!"  
Ash grabbed the bar, and all the electricity flowed into him. The cart ground to a halt, and the Pokémon looked up.  
"Pidgeot, go!"  
The bird Pokémon dived out of its PokéBall, and flew over to the grass where the Pokémon were.  
"Use Fly!"  
The Pokémon flapped into the air. Sentret and Furret looked up as Pidgeot suddenly dive-bombed them. As an instinct, the two Pokémon leaped onto the still cart.  
"Pikachu, zap them!" The electric rodent fired a Thundershock, but missed, and zapped the rails. The cart flew along, with Pikachu running along beside it.  
"Ah...grab my hand!" shouted Ash to Pikachu. Pikachu jumped onto the cart. Ash returned Pidgeot. "Now you're mine, Sentret and Furret!" he said, standing up. He withdrew two PokéBalls and was about to throw them when...  
"Wait! How could you capture such cuties?" Ash paused with his arm pulled back. The two balls fell out of his hand and landed on the tracks. "Aw nuts," said Ash to Ad. What did you do that for?"  
"They've got on the cart, so let them stay on untethered," said Ad calmly.  
Ash sat down.  
"Alright then."  
And so the Sentret and Furret played on deck, with Ash, depressed, considering how they could be his.  
  
A while afterwards...  
  
"Hey, what is this thing?" said Sentret. The two Pokémon were out of view of the humans.  
"I don't know. Looks comfortable though," said Furret. The large red ball still stood in front of them.  
"There's a button there. Perhaps we should press it."  
"Good idea," said Sentret.  
It used Headbutt. The PokéBall opened, and sucked the two Pokémon in.  
"Quite comfortable in here," said Furret. Inside a PokéBall is like a hotel, personally tailored to the Pokémon's needs. As Sentret and Furret are quite similar, their needs are practicaly the same.  
  
Later...  
  
"Good morning everyone!" Ash took some PokéBalls out of his pocket.  
"Wonder if there are any new Pokémon to catch. Hey – one of my PokéBalls is missing!" Ash looked around. He saw the small ball, and picked it up.  
"Hey, here it is!" He threw it. Out came Sentret and Furret. Surprised, Ash pointed his Pokédex at the PokéBall.  
"_It is possible for Pokémon to get into a PokéBall of their own accord_," offered Dexter helpfully.  
"Hmm, just like Psy..."  
"Don't remind me," said Misty through gritted teeth.  
  
Finally...  
  
"We've arrived!" said Ad.  
Ash earthed the rails (rather painfully) and the handcar stopped. They were in Saffron City. "Does everyone have a flying Pokémon?" asked Brock. The reply was a positive one. "So let's go!"  
  
In Vermilion City a bit later, the gang consulted the map, which had again grown by four inches on each side, again to take on more sea.  
"Route 12 is that way, so we'd better hurry! We have to get through Route 11 first."  
In Route 11, there was a group of bikers blocking the road.  
"What you doing here? We rule this territory."  
"We need to get through to Route 12."  
"And we say we won't let you."  
"You and whose Pokémon?"  
"My ones, actually. Koffing, go!"  
The balloon Pokémon floated over.  
"Misdreavus, go!" cried Ad. Misdreavus flew to Koffing and used Bite. Unfortunately, Misdreavus bit too hard and Koffing was punctured. Gas flew everywhere. The gang was coughing and wheezing so much, they did not notice the biker slipping away.  
  
Once the gas had cleared, Ash saw that the biker had gone. Sighing with relief, he stepped forward.  
"Not so fast." A biker rode straight in front of him. Ash reversed to bump into another biker. The gang were surrounded by bikers and Koffings.  
"ATTACK!" screamed the bikers. The Koffings charged forwards. "DUCK!" screamed Ash. Everyone obeyed. The Koffings crashed into the bikers opposite them. In the confusion, the gang grabbed a bike each, and got going.  
"That reminds me," said Misty. "Ash still owes me a..."  
"Just shut up," said Brock, annoyed.  
Ad drove over to Ash. "Shut up about what?"  
Ash sighed. "It's a loooong story."  
  
And so our heroes ride into Route 12 to find the Trick House for their next adventure.

* * *

That was...short. This chapter is just explaining how they get to Kanto, and how Sentret and Furret tag along. FURRETS FOREVER! Sorry if this chapter was rubbish; it was a 'fractured sense' chappie, acting as a bridge between 8 and 10. See you in the next (hopefully better) chapter! 


	10. Insane

Halloo! Sorry about the lateness, my computer crashed and my original file won't open, so I have to type it up again --. 

So, with 4 badges (Change, HM, IQ, and Dark) Ash and co. find the 5th gym, but all is not as it seems. So, will the gang survive? Find out, in...

**Insane**

Disclaimer: Rearrange the following words to make a well-known phrase: Not Pokémon own I do.

"Stop being so vain, Ash."  
Ash let go of his jacket's side which he was a admiring his badges against. As it fell gently down, he caught it again and continued admiring his badges. Misty sighed. "You are so immature."  
They had got off the motorbikes at the end of Route 10. They were walking down the short, and to Route 12, and had stopped to think about the last time they had been there.  
"Come on. We'd better be going," said Ad. He had no idea as to what the rest of the group was talking about, and was feeling rather left out. They continued along the path.  
They turned a corner, and the Trick House was right in front of them. It had curvy roofs, and bushes on either side. Ash brushed away one bush to reveal a small room. He crawled into it. It was pitch black; he couldn't see a thing.  
"Yowsa!" Ashfound himselfplummeting through the floor. He grabbed the trapdoor he had fallen through, and hauled himself up.  
"I think we should look in the other bush," he commented, rubbing his head.  
Behind the other bush was a glass tube, which extended into the 'mansion'. It had a very wide base, so the whole gang could fit in.  
Ad smiled. "I think this is the way in," he said, and pressed a button on the wall. An air jet started up, sucking Ash's cap up. As Ash started to go bananas, the jet strengthened, and pulled the entire gang through the tube. After a moment of chaos, the gang was in a sprawled heap on the floor inside the mansion.

Ash got up and dusted himself off. Everyone else followed. Inside the mansion looked just like a gigantic playhouse, with pipes and glass tubes everywhere; pits of water and of sand; and a huge slide.  
"Wow." Ash let his Pokémon out, including Sentret and Furret. As they played around, a man walked up to Ash.  
"So. You are competing in the Alternative League? And you want the fifth badge?"  
"Yes. My name is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town."  
"I am Archibald Sentimia. I came from Fuchsia City, but I moved up here." Archibald shook Ash's hand.  
"So...can you tell me where the fifth gym leader is?" Ad, Brock and Misty anime-fell. Archibald merely giggled.  
"You're looking straight at him."  
Ash realized what everybody else knew already as Archibald reached for a PokéBall.  
"Okay, let's battle! Pika–" Ash looked over to where Pikachu was totally ignoring him and playing on the giant slide. He sighed. "Maybe later. I need to get Pikachu off that thing."

From on top of the mansion, Jessie, James and Meowth watched through their binoculars. "We need to get Pikachu off that thing as well. And I know just how we'll do it!"

"Just one more time, okay Pikachu?"  
"Pi." The Pokémon clambered up the ladder. It was just about to slide down when an extendable-arm-with-a-hand-on-the-end™ grabbed it and pulled it up to the roof.  
"PIKA!"  
"Ha ha aha ha aha ha!" laughed a woman evilly.  
Ash grimaced. "There's only one person in the world who laughs that stupidly..."  
Jessie glared at him from her platform in the sky. "I'll have you know that I've read the Encyclopedia Teamrocketa, Laughs to Laughs sixteen times and memorized every word!"  
Misty yawned. "Yeah, whatever."  
"Shut up, twerp! You'll pay for insulting my evil laugh! Arbok, go!" The snake burst out of its ball, screeched menacingly, and fell into a pit of water. It struggled out, and as the other Pokémon were howling with laughter, used Poison Sting. It hit all of them, except for Sentret and Furret. Archibald pulled out a PokéBall and threw it. Out of it came a Mr. Mime.  
"Mr. Mime!" the Pokémon cried. It turned to look at Arbok, formed a Barrier, and fired it. The Barrier hit the distracted Arbok full on. The dazed Pokémon was leapt upon by Sentret and Furret, and after a flurry of Bites and Tail Whips, retreated. James reached for his PokéBall and chucked it. The ball revealed Weezing.  
"Wee-zing!" said the Pokémon as it flew gracefully over the water pit–  
"Why can't mine do that?" said Jessie  
–and into Sentret and Furret. Mr. Mime bounded forward, and threw a ball of telepathic energy at Weezing. It was hit, and stumbled back. But a cloud of Poison Gas was blown out of Weezing, and it sapped Mr. Mime's strength. Archibald pulled out another ball. Inside it was a Muk. It crept up to Weezing through the gas, and used Headbutt. Weezing was flattened. Furret rushed into it, and it flew into Team Rocket. The Team fell over backwards, and almost off of the platform. Muk slithered over to where they would land of they fell. It looked up with a smirk. Jessie gasped. "Don't make me come down there!" The Pokémon curled up, and fired a huge ball of Sludge upwards. It hit the about-to-tumble Team Rocket. They were smacked sky-high, and Pikachu fell into Ash's hands.  
"Good thing we learnt gobbledygook!" said Meowth in midair.  
"Why's that?" asked James, puzzled (as always)...  
"Hey! I heard that!"  
..."So we can say:" "LOOGS LIKD DEAM ROKCDF'S BLASHENG OHF AGAWN!"

"What on Earth did THAT mean?" asked Ash, looking into the sky. A triumphant "Yes! They are stumped," echoed quietly through the mountains, but nobody heard it.  
"It doesn't matter. What does is that they're gone now, and you have Pikachu back. So," Archibald went on, going to the other end of the pitch, "we can battle!"  
Ash smiled. "You're on! Pikachu, go!"  
The rodent hopped confidently into the ring. Archibald let out a Slugma, which used Fire Spin. The vortex of flames surrounded Pikachu. It used Agility, and just managed to spot, out of the corner of its eye, a crack in the fiery tornado. Now or never, it thought. It soared through the break, and used a midair Tackle. It hit the Slugma, and damaged it a bit, but...  
"Pikachu! Are you alright?"  
"Pi..."  
The Pokémon had been burnt on contact with the lava Pokémon. Ash pulled out another ball.  
"Squirtle, go!"  
The turtle burst out of the ball, and used Hydro Pump. Slugma started to cool down. Steam filled the air as Slugma's lava set slowly. Soon, Slugma was completely paralyzed. Squirtle curled up in its shell, and fired itself at Slugma. The speeding shell crashed into Slugma, and the Pokémon went flying. Archibald pulled out another ball.  
"Go, Eevee!"  
The cute Pokémon came out, and rammed Squirtle. Ash called Squirtle back, and sent Pikachu back in again. Pikachu used Thunder Wave, which paralyzed Eevee just long enough for Pikachu to use a quick Thundershock. However, this was not enough to defeat Eevee, which used Tri Attack. Pikachu was knocked backwards. It was about to faint when it used the final attack. A tremendous Thunder filled the arena. When it cleared, Eevee had fainted but Pikachu was hanging on by the skin of its teeth. It fainted from shock, but it didn't matter. Ash had won.

"Well done," said Archibald to Ash in the Pokémon Centre. "As soon as Pikachu comes back, you can go."  
"Don't worry," said Nurse Joy, who was cautiously looking around to test her Brock Detector™, "Pikachu's just coming back now." A Chansey wheeled in Pikachu on a stretcher. It was eating an apple. As soon as it saw Ash it leapt into his arms.  
"Pikachu!" cried Ash. Pikachu stood on Ash's shoulder. Archibald held out his hand.  
"Here's the badge. It's the Odd Badge."  
It certainly looked odd. It was a green blob, which rippled wildly. Ash quickly put it away and turned to Archibald.  
"So. I'll see you again at the League meeting, then?"  
"Yep. You'll be a lot more experienced then. I might even face you once more. Who knows?"  
As the gang leaves the House, Ash whispered to Ad: "Are we going to have to do all that stuff with the handcar on the Magnet Train again?" "Not for a while," smiled Ad. "Our next adventure is in Kanto as well!" And so we leave our heroes as they go off towards the next adventure.

* * *

Just like to say thanks to the Bouncy Blue Penguin and Sailor Evanescence (again) for the nice reviews: yes the no line spacing thing is a bit annoying so I may change it, but I'm not promising anything. So then, in the immortal words of Anne Robinson... 

You are blah blah blah GOODBYE!

Yes, it's facelifted. The Export thing ROCKS!


	11. Parents Reunited

Here we are again then, with Chapter 11 rearing its ugly head. Five badges, but there'll be no more in this chap! The gang finds a young boy, but it is a struggle to get him reunited with his family, in...

**Parents Reunited**

.sdrawkcab sdrow etirw REVEN I dna, nomékoP nwo ton od I: remialcsiD (Legal blokes & blokesses: it's written backwards. Or you could just read chaps 1- 10.)

* * *

"Are we there yet?"  
"No."  
"Are we there yet?"  
"No."  
"Are we there yet?"  
Misty turned to Ash. "You've been moaning so long we've already arrived."  
"So it's a yes then?" Misty banged her head on a nearby fence. They were at Route 13 – the maze of posts below Route 12 – because they were taking the long, boring, Ad- approved route rather than the easy, interesting, Ash-approved route (using Fly).

* * *

_Flashback_

Ad pulled out the giant map, which Brock now had to help him hold. (It had mysteriously grown to accommodate Kanto: and more sea, but that goes without saying.) "Right. If we're wanted in Viridian for the next Gym, we could go south to Fuchsia City, then sail past the Seafoam and Cinnabar islands to Pallet. We can go from there to Cerulean!" Ash sweatdropped at the thought of all that work. "Or...we cold just use Fly." "Where's the fun in that?" asked Ad. Everyone sighed.

_Flashback ends_

* * *

"How long have we been walking?" asked Misty to Brock. Brock asked Ad the same thing, and he replied, "About five minutes. But we're definitely in front of schedule.  
"Let's stop for a rest then." Ash, Misty and Brock sat down, with Ad doing the same reluctantly. Ash gazed into the distance. He could see the island off Route 12. There was a small boy sitting on it, daydreaming and swinging his head from side to side. He saw Ash, and froze.  
Then, he shouted at he top of his voice. "TIK-IBU!!!!" The gang winced and closed their eyes. As soon as the sound stopped, Ash whipped his head up. The boy was gone.  
"Where..." He turned.  
"Where has that boy gone?"  
Brock was bewildered. "Who? I didn't see a boy. Did you see one?" He twisted to the rest of the gang. They answered in the negative.  
Ash sighed, and got up. "Maybe I was hallucinating."  
"No way! You're not ill. If you were hallucinating, then we would all be..."said Brock, waving his arms up and down in front of him, "...a dreeeeeaaaaaam."  
Ash fixed Brock with an evil stare. "Shut up."

They were now fiddling around on Route 15, looking to see if there was a way to get to the PP Up without using Cut. Misty was watching everyone else rush around while she sat on the signpost. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a little boy. She span around and looked at him. He froze. "TIK-IBU!" She winced, and saw a faint flicker as the boy sped off. She turned around to face everyone. They had stopped.  
Ash walked up to Misty. "Did you see him as well?"  
"Yeah." Misty looked into Ash's eyes to see that he was smiling. "I guess I believe you now."  
Ash grinned, and patted Misty on the back. He then went back to the rest of the group. They continued searching for another entrance, but slower, and looking timidly around occasionally in case the boy returned. Misty whispered to herself under her breath. "I've always believed you Ash."

In the gatehouse, Brock walked up to the man.  
"Um, excuse me?" The man ignored him.  
"Excuse me?" Brock said, a bit louder. The man carried on shuffling through some papers.  
"EXCUSE ME?" The man looked up, shaking.  
"For Entei's sake there's no reason to shout! What do you want?" Everyone anime-fell.  
"Well? Whaddya want?"  
"We would like to know," said Brock, exaggerating his lip movement in case the guard went deaf again, "about a little boy these two," he gestured to Ash and Misty, who waved shyly, "have seen."  
"Ah, the ghost of the–"  
"GHOST!" screamed Misty, leaping into the air.  
Ash put his hand on her shoulder. "You shouldn't be scared." Misty calmed down.  
The man continued, oblivious to Misty's scream: "There is a legend about a ghost of a boy who appears and screams on the hour every hour."  
Ad glanced at the clock. It was five past half past three (15.35); twenty- five to four. He interrupted the man: "But they," again pointing to Ash and Misty, "saw the boy ten minutes ago. That's five to half past three (15.25); twenty-five past three, which is definitely not on the hour."  
The guard rubbed his neck. "Um, legends are just that: legends. They aren't always reliable."

Having gathered no information, the gang walked back into Route 15. They carefully examined the land as they walked through it, looking out for the boy. Ash noticed the sapling, which had now been cut down. A light bulb clicked on in his head (for once)... "Hey! Are you saying I'm dumb?"  
No.  
"Good."  
I'm saying you're brainless, unintelligent and dim-witted.  
"Thank you...I think."  
...and he gathered the gang around. He then told them his plan.

The boy studied the area fearfully. Nobody there. He crept out from the trees surrounding the guardhouse, vaulted over the low fence (the one that stops you getting in) and sprinted to the other end of the Route. He pulled out a PokéBall, and was about to throw it into the water, when Ash, Brock and Ad leapt out from the trees by where the sapling used to be. The boy jumped, and the gang herded him into the area where the PP Up was. Misty bounded from the tree, and called out Staryu. It used Surf, and the sapling immediately re-sprouted. The boy was trapped.  
"What are you doing?" asked Ash to the boy, who was now sitting down in the makeshift pen.  
"I-I'm just looking for my p-parents. I-I-I got lost here one d-d-day and they haven't come b-back." Tears started welling up in his eyes. Misty stepped forward.  
"But why were you screaming that thing (what was it now – t-t-tick – tick, that's it –I – like EE - as in bee, was it? – yes, it was – boo, like a ghost – tikibu, that's it) tikibu?"  
"I-I-I'd got lost before, and my m-mum and d-dad said that I should say that and they'd come." He started to sob. Brock jumped over the fence, and patted the boy.  
"There, there. We'll find your parents. What did you say your name was?"  
"I-I-I didn't. But it's G-George B-B-Barnes." The gang led the now straight-faced boy into the gatehouse and through into Fuchsia City.  
"Good morning again!" said the guard cheerfully. He opened his eyes and saw the boy.  
"W-what?" He took up the phone, trembling, and dialed the main guardhouse number.  
"Hello? Is this the guardhouse? I'd like to retire for the day..."

In the Pokémon Centre, the boy sat shivering, a blanket around his shoulders, drinking a cup of hot soup. Nurse Joy was sifting through some old records, looking for Mr and Mrs Barnes. She slowly shook her head.  
"I'll pop down to the police station to see what records they have there. But I can't promise anything."

Time passed. George lay down on the hospital bed, twiddling his thumbs. Ash called the station to check on things. The phone was engaged.

Time passed. Nurse Joy knocked on the door. Ad opened it. She came in with two complete strangers. George looked up, and his eyes widened. The woman stepped forward, and George leapt into her arms. The man stood by, watching. Nurse Joy announced, "These are Mr and Mrs Barnes."

* * *

And so, our friends wave goodbye to George and his parents, and head off into the depths of Fuchsia City.

You like? If so, REVIEW! Sorry about the wait, but I've been a bit occupied. The next chapter will be coming up soon!

And so, in the immortal words of E.J. Thribbs...

"So. Farewell, then."

GOODBYE!

N.B. Tikibu is pronouced "tick-EE-BOO"


	12. On Safari

Hi y'all! After the last adventure, Ash and co. are still in Fuchsia City. The Safari Zone has been re-opened, and it all adds up to a lot of confusion, in... 

**On Safari!**

Isclaimer-day: -iay o-day ot-nay wn-oaym Okémon-pay, ut-bay -iay o-day wn- oay D-aay. (Again, legal blokes and blokesses, it's pig Latin. Or, again, read chaps. 1-10.)

* * *

"That's odd. The guide says the Safari Zone was closed when the Warden went on holiday."  
"Well, Brock, the guide was published before the Warden's nephew volunteered to help," said Ad, looking at the grand building in front of them. There was a moment of silence as everyone quietly appreciated the structure in front of him...

"Hey!"

...or her. This solemn mood was broken by Ash asking, "Shall we go in?" Everyone anime-fell.

"Welcome to Isle Delfino– I mean the Safari Zone–an island where everything is beyond your wildest–God why did I agree to work for them–just get in," said the man inside the door. The group needed no further encouragement.  
The next man handed them some Safari Balls, saying, "All the usual–in until your PokéBalls run out–or you take 200 steps–oh, and don't mind that crazy bloke. He got fired by the Piantas."  
"I can understand how that could make anyone a loony," said Ash, faking sympathy.

The grass in the Safari Zone was higher, wilder, and unkempt, which all added up to a lot of Pokémon.  
"It says in the guidebook," said Brock (it was the new 2004 edition, Guidebook XP), "that the safari Zone is Fuchsia City's major draw. Tourists from all over Hoenn, Kanto and Johto visit here."  
Misty scratched her chin. "Tourists, eh?" In the background, Homer Simpson fell out of a plot-hole, but everybody ignored him.  
"What about tourists?"  
"We can play a wicked game! Look, there's a bloke over there. Guess where he's from."  
Once everyone had done so, Misty started to push Ash towards the man. "Now, you ask him where he is from."  
"Wait! But how do I..."  
"Take these," said Misty, producing a clipboard and pencil from her IPS (Infinite Pocket Space). She slotted the pencil behind Ash's ear, gave him one final shove, and he ended up behind the man. Ash put on a cheesy grin. He tapped the man on the shoulder, and said, "Hello, I'm conducting a survey, so can I just ask you where you're from?"  
"Pallet Town, doofus," grunted a familiar voice. The man turned around and clicked his fingers. A platform descended from the roof, laden with cheerleaders. Brock went into overdrive. They began singing. "GARY, GARY, HE'S OUR MAN, IF HE CAN'T DO IT NO-ONE CAN!" Everyone sweatdropped, except Ash.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Well, what league are you doing?"  
"The Alternat..."  
"Shut up Ash!" said Ad, nudging him.  
"The what?" whispered Gary to himself. He started yelling to Ash again.  
"Well, so am I, and I've got more badges!"  
"No, actually, it's the Johto League, isn't it?" muttered Misty to Ash. Gary heard and said,  
"OK, that one as well, and I've got more badges!"  
"It's déjà vu all over again," commented Brock.

Shouts boomed through the giant Gym. The stands were filled with Gary's cheerleaders, with Brock and Misty lost in the sea of cheering. Brock was darting around everywhere, looking for phone numbers. Misty walked up to him, and pulled him by the ear back to his seat.  
"You need a reality check," she sighed. Collin and Catreece fell out of a plothole, commented on the weirdness of this Run-A-Muck, and left. Everyone stared after them, sweatdropping, then got back to normal.  
"You ready to be thrashed, Ash?" cried Gary, smirking.  
"Speak for yourself," sniggered Ash.  
Ad stepped forward into the middle of the Zone.  
"This will be a two-on-two battle, no time limit. Choose your Pokémon!"  
"Go, Growlithe!"  
"Go, Squirtle!" The two Pokémon squared each other. Growlithe bared its teeth.  
"Squirtle, use Hydro Pump!" The jets of water shot out. Growlithe did a backflip, landed, and shot out several burning embers. One caught Squirtle on the shell. It bent its head back, trying to fire water onto its back. In the process, it hit Growlithe, who, howling in pain, started firing the affected area. The result was that each Pokémon was hopping about trying to heal itself. Squirtle finally stopped, saw Growlithe dancing around, and fired a Hydro Pump straight at it. It flew across the Gym, and fainted.  
"I'm just warming up. Jolteon, go!" The electric fox Pokémon leapt from its ball. Squirtle immediately used Water Gun while it was stunned from the PokéBall. Jolteon shook it off, smiling. Surprised, Squirtle used another. Jolteon used Thundershock at the same time. The 'shock conducted along the water, and electrocuted Squirtle from the inside. It fainted.  
"Alright then, I'm goanna have to get out the big guns! Pikachu, go!" Pikachu flew out, and got into fighter stance. Jolteon used a weak Thunder Wave. Pikachu was paralyzed. Jolteon flew in with a flying Tackle, but Pikachu used Agility. Jolteon's Tackle was so strong that the Pokémon got its hand stuck in a crack in the Gym floor. Pikachu called down a Thunder, but Jolteon used its super speed to revolve. Pikachu fired a Thunder straight at Jolteon's paw. The shock from the Thunder catapulted Jolteon out. It sniggered. Then it curled up, and used a devastating Thunderbolt. It whistled through the air. Pikachu used Agility, and just got out of the way. However, its tail got burnt. Pikachu turned to Jolteon, with fire in its eyes. It used Thunder. Its rage guided it, and it hit Jolteon. The Pokémon soared through the air, whacking into the wall and falling down. Gary returned it.  
"The winner is Ash Ketchum!" cried Ad. The never-ones-to-lose-out cheerleaders started screaming "Ash, Ash, he's our man, if he can't do it no-one can!" at the top of their voices; Gary scowled and phoned Cheerleaders 'R' Us; Pikachu got Squirtle to cool down its burned tail; Squirtle got shocked; and Misty ran up to Ash and hugged him.

"Please, can everyone come back?" called the loudspeaker.  
"What! We've only been in here for..." Brock counted, "...3 paragraphs, including this one!"  
"Yeah, but the second was really long," reminded Ad.  
The loudspeaker interrupted indignantly, "You were dancing around so much in the battle, you took 200 steps!" A huge comedy boot appeared and kicked everybody out.

"So, Gary, I beat ya!" mocked Ash.  
"I'm didn't get a chance to use my best Pokémon. I never do! Why not?"  
Because I can't be bothered to make it up, you idiot.  
"Oh."  
"You always say that!" retorted Ash. "I bet you don't HAVE a best Pokemon!"  
"Didn't you listen to what I just said?"  
"..."  
"Well, see you later loser!" said Gary, climbing into a car with his new cheerleaders.

* * *

And so the gang walks off into the next adventure.

Author's Notes: Reality Check, Collin, Catreece and the Run-A-Mucks are not mine; they are the property of Rikki and Tavisha.

R&R!


	13. Surfin' the Net

Notices: Nothing, apart from that Reality Check, Man of Many Faces and Tokyo Mew Mew rule, and I may have some guest appearances from other fics in one chappie. Thanks to Mr. Panda and BouncyBluePenguin, both for reviewing and writing brilliant fanfics. They'ven't written much, but what they have is sheer class. Check 'em out! Anyway, as the gang set out to conquer Routes 19, 20 & 21, they didn't count on it that Seafoam Islands would be open, in... 

**Surfin' the Net!**

Disclaimer: WHAT DON'T I OWN?  
All: POKÈMON!  
Me: WHEN DON'T I OWN IT?  
All: NOW!

* * *

"Yeah!" screamed Misty. The wind blew through her hair as she surfed along on her Starmie's back. Ad was riding his Misdreavus: Ash and Brock, Squirtle. They were on Route 19, Surfing to Seafoam Island. As the eruption had practically destroyed the area, they hadn't bothered to heal their Pokémon, as they would do it at Cinnabar. After stopping at intervals to chat to other Trainers, they arrived at Seafoam. 

Misty looked around. "Guys, I don't like this. It's spooky; something doesn't feel right. Are you sure Seafoam is deserted?"  
"I know what you mean about it being slightly frightening, but I'm sure it is empty."  
Ash shivered. "Nevertheless, let's be careful."

It was dark inside the caves. Ash felt around for the walls and instead fell into a pool. He pulled himself out, sopping wet, and threw a PokéBall. Out burst Charmander, lighting Misdreavus. The living candle flew around, to reveal the impossible: the cave had grown.

"How did it get so big?" cried Ad.  
"No Pokémon or human has the power to do this!"  
"Not even a legendary?" asked Ash.  
"Well, perhaps."  
"Oh God." Ash pulled out his PokéBalls. "We really should have healed them."

The team consisted of Ash, Pikachu, Misdreavus and Charmander in front; Misty, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Staryu and Ad in the middle; and Brock, Geodude and Onix bringing up the rear. The path was treacherous; there were pits, lakes and rocks everywhere. Ash was looking up at the ceiling to see if there were any floors above them, when...

"ARGH!"  
"What? Where are you Ash?"  
Underneath Misdreavus was a deep hole. Misty and Ad called Onix over, and climbed down through the hole using it as a ladder. There were two islands. One could easily be reached, but the other was too far away. There was a fast-flowing current in the sea between them. Ash had landed on the further island, as he had hit a rock when being swept away, and clambered onto the island. However, in hitting the rock, he had bashed it over a waterfall.  
There were holes leading over the river. Misty dashed to the furthest, and tried to reach Ash's island from it. If she could have stood on the water, she could easily have jumped, but it was impossible to reach from the hole. Misty looked hopelessly around the top level. There was a huge pile of rocks in one corner, and nothing in the others. She thought for a moment, and then called Brock. She whispered something in his ear. Brock nodded, and called Geodude.  
"Use Strength!" The Pokémon obeyed, and lugged a rock from the pile over to the three Trainers. Brock directed it, and it pushed it into the hole. It sank into the water. The top of the rock was just visible under the water. Geodude rammed another boulder onto it, and the top of the second was just visible under the surface. Misty lowered herself onto it. As soon as she let go of the ceiling the water that lapped around her ankles sped up and knocked her off her feet. Onix quickly stuck its head down the hole, and pulled Misty up again. While she was recovering, Geodude pushed a final boulder down the gap. Misty climbed onto it, found it safe, and returned all her Pokémon. She then leapt over the water, and landed on Ash's island. Ad did the same, but keeping the alight Misdreavus out, and then it was Brock's turn. He started to jump, but the weight of the Rock Pokémon in the Balls dragged him down and he fell. Misty fumbled around for Staryu and Starmie, but in the end just grabbed Squirtle's ball from Ash's belt and threw it. Squirtle grabbed Brock, but it wasn't strong enough. Misty finally found Starmie, and it tugged Squirtle, and Staryu tugged Starmie. This chain was almost enough to reach the shore, but not enough. Misty dived in the water, heaved Staryu toward the shore, and anchored herself to a rock. The Pokémon and Brock climbed onto the island and revived Ash. Misty was left in the water, shouting: "Wait for me!" She raised both arms above her head for effect, but forgot she was holding the rock and was swept away. Ash heard the racket and plunged in, just managing to get Misty to shore.

Once everyone had recovered from the shock, the still-burning Misdreavus flew to the darkest corner of the island. There was a ladder leading through anther hole. Misty remembered the top floor, and the fact that this hole had not been visible. She concluded that this was because it was hidden behind a wall.  
"I think we're near whatever has mucked up these islands," said Ad. Brock pulled some Potions out of his bag.  
"I think we should give these to our Pokémon first."  
Misty screamed at him, "You idiot! You had some Potions and you never told us!" with a giant head anime-style.  
Brock sweatdropped, "Well, I guess so." Ad, Ash and Misty anime-fell.

Once you started climbing it, the ladder seemed to go on forever – in both directions. The rungs were slippery, splintery and creaked uneasily whenever you put your weight on them. Misdreavus kept going up and down, guiding everyone's way and making sure they didn't fall. Soon they reached alarge cove. Everyone clambered in to the spacious cavern. Ash peered over the edge. Blackness. He flipped backwards and breathed heavily. He stared up. If he looked closely, he could just see a pinpoint of light. Motivated by this, he jumped up and started climbing, slightly faster. The rest of the gang, surprised by this, followed.

At the top of the ladder, the gang spilled out into a heap, exhausted. They lay there for a few minutes, and then Ash paced the room with Misdreavus. There was a small cave, and Ash told the gang to come over. Slowly they squeezed through the crack. Misdreavus floated up to the ceiling and illuminated the room. A huge Pokémon was visible.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAVE? I EXPANDED THIS WHOLE CAVE TO STAY ON MY OWN, NOT TO BE DISTURBED BY THOUSANDS OF ORDINARY IDIOTS!"  
"I AM NOT AN ORDINARY IDIOT!"  
"Oh boy, not this again..." moaned Ad, shaking his head. He shuffled around in his wing pocket (okay, he's not female, but he can still have an Infinite Pocket Space) and pulled out an Adderdex: the Ad version of a Pokédex. It burbled.  
"Lugia. The most powerful Pokémon in the world. Lives at the bottom of the sea. If found, MUST NOT BE DISTURBED. Or else. I mean it," warned the voice, Adexter.  
"I've got a brilliant idea!" cried Misty. Everyone turned to look at her.  
"What?" asked Ash.  
"RUUUN!" screamed Misty, squeezing back through the crack. Lugia fired a Gust, destroying the rock. Ash, Ad and Brock dashed through the hole.

The gang grabbed the outer rails of the ladder and slid down, leaping of at the tenth rung from the bottom. Lugia smashed through it. As he ran, Ash felt in his pockets. There was one PokéBall left. He took it out, and threw it. "Are you mad? You'll never be able to capture the strongest Pokémon in the world with a single PokéBall!" However, as soon as the PokéBall hit Lugia, it stopped. Ash swept around, and the rest of the gang followed his lead. They just managed to see Lugia disappearing into the ball. Ash rushed over to it, and picked up the Ball. He did a V sign whilst Misty looked at the Ball. Her eyes widened as she studied it, and she looked up at Ash.  
"Why the hell do you keep a Master Ball in your pocket?" Ash rubbed the back of his neck.  
"Uh, well, you do keep odd things in your pocket."  
Brock ran the ball through his fingers.  
"Ash, I think you should let him go."  
"What? Why?"  
"The poor thing is used to being free. You're tethering it down. You should let it roam wild."  
Misty thought. "He could be right. He won't obey you anyway. He's shocked. And you'll get the Master Ball back."  
Ash put his head in his hands. He had captured the most rare (my PC doesn't understand 'rarest'; it thinks it's like 'ain't') Pokémon in the world, and they wanted him to let it go. It seemed like madness. But maybe they were right; it was unfair to keep it cooped up n a tiny ball. He made up his mind. He slowly reached for the ball, and pressed the button. Lugia flew out.  
"You can go." Lugia was taken aback.  
"You're letting me go?"  
"Yeah. So just go."  
Lugia flew away. "I will not forget this. Thank you, Ash." And the Pokémon flew away.

"Don't look so down, Ash. You did the right thing." Ash heaved himself up from his sitting position outside Seafoam Caves, and sighed.  
"C'mon, let's go." And so the deeply depressed Ash, plus Misty, Ad, Pikachu and Brock, leave for Cinnabar Island.

* * *

Whoa! This chappie is finished for good. I have a plan for the next episodeso it should be out soon. So, in the immortal words of Captain Oates... 

"I'm going out now. I may be... oh, a few minutes, darling. No, I'm not running away from you dear, but... oh, just goodbye."

GOODNIGHT!!!


	14. Cinnabar Eruptions

Here is the next chapter of The Alternative League. Thanks to all the loyal fans who have read this fanfic over time: this chapter is dedicated to you! 

So, in the next chapter, the gang finds Cinnabar Island, and meets some friends from a parallel fanfic. But the eruption has left some strange aftermath, in...

**Cinnabar Eruptions!**

DiScLaImEr: I dO nOt OwN pOkÈmOn, BuT i Do OwN aD.

* * *

"Look, it's even smaller than it is on the map."  
"Well duh. There was an eruption, and it blew the island to bits. All that's here is a Pokémon Centre, so let's go there then shift!"  
"But what about the Cinnabar Laboratories?"  
Ash sighed. "Alright then, Brock. We'll stop off there too. But the Centre first, OK?"  
Reluctantly, Brock followed the rest of the gang into the Centre. He suddenly perked up as he saw Nurse Joy. Misty was so used to this type of thing by now, she immediately drew out her mallet and hit him.  
"I didn't do anything!" Brock shrieked.  
"Yeah, but you were going to."  
As soon as the five-note melody was over, Brock ran up to Ash and said, "Can we go to the Laboratories now? Please? Please?"  
"Yeah, sure."

As they crossed the island, an Oddish crept out of some leaves in front of them. Ad and Ash simultaneously took out their Pokédex and Adderdex, simultaneously pointed them at the Pokémon, and simultaneously got annoyed when the 'dexes refused to work.  
"Come on, work! How could this thing break down?"  
"Maybe the batteries ran out," suggested Misty.  
Ash went mad and started screaming at her.  
"Or maybe I can explain," said a voice from behind them.  
They turned around, and saw a short woman wearing a white lab coat.  
"My name is Professor Douglas-Fir," said the woman. Misty pulled out a laptop, and tried to remember where she had seen her before.  
"I am studying the effects of the recent eruption on the island. I think it is distorting the radio and electromagnetic waves and stopping the electrons from flowing along the conducting wires."  
"In English?" inquired Ash.  
"It's making everything electric go beserko."  
"Ah."  
"I saw you in another fic, didn't I?" asked Misty.  
"Yeah. That's gonna happen a lot lately. I shouldn't be too surprised."  
"What Pokémon is causing this then?" questioned Brock.  
"A Fire/Electric type, I should imagine," drawled Professor Douglas-Fir boredly (which is a word, because I said so), hastily adding, "If any exist."

"Is climbing the volcano really necessary?" asked an exhausted Ash to the Professor.  
"It's the place where my Electro-Detector-Meter™ beeps highest. Apart from around your Pikachu, of course. Why is it always letting off sparks?"  
"I don't thing it likes scientists poking it with Electro-thingamajigs."  
"Well, anyway, whatever the problem is is up here. So let's go. The gang continued up the volcano without much grumbling. They were almost at the top when Professor Douglas-Fir suddenly stopped.  
"Hey, that's odd. The 'meter has suddenly started bleeping faster."  
"We must be near the source then."  
"What if it's inside the volcano?" asked Brock.  
"We'll have to split up. You and Ash can go down inside the volcano, and me, Misty and Ad will go up."  
"Why do I have to go?" moaned Ash.  
"Because you're dumb."  
"Oh."  
"Anyway, hurry up." With that, the Professor, Misty and Ad started climbing again. There was a silence.  
"What do we do now?" asked Ash.  
"Get into the volcano, I guess," said Brock. "Graveler, go!"  
The Pokémon came out, and started boring away at the rock. After about a minute, a flood of hot air came flowing through. Brock and Ash stepped into the mountain.  
"It's sure hot in here," commented Ash, using his cap as a fan. He dropped it. "NO!!! I HAD TO SEND OFFA MILLIONPOSTCARDS FOR THAT!"  
"Lucky I got 14 of them," said Brock.  
"My God! How many postcards did THAT take?" asked Ash.  
Sheepishly, Brock said, "15. I got a Brockodex for the last one. Here it is," he said, pulling it out.  
He turned it on. "I am Broxter."  
Ash clouted him round the head with Pikachu, and he dropped the Brockodex.  
"The crazy 'dexes thing stopped being funny with Ad and the Adderdex! Although that was pretty cool..." Ash started musing about whether he would like an Adderdex.  
Brock glared at him. "Put a cork in it."

"Wow. Who would have thought this?"  
This was a general remark made by Ad, as he had just seen it. He rustled around in his wing for a moment, and thought.  
"Just like Slowpoke and Shellder & Mantine and Remoraid live in harmony, it seems that here, Lanturn and Slugma live in harmony. The Lanturn lives in a layer of water formed above the lava, when the water inside the lava evaporates and condenses on top. They electrocute any other water Pokémon that threaten to harm the Slugma. In return, the Slugma make sure the water keeps forming by heating the lava."  
"What has happened here is that the Lanturn is trapped inside the lava, because it has hardened. So the Slugma are trying to melt the lava," proclaimed Ad wisely.  
"I guess the electric signals must be from the distressing Lanturn," said Professor Douglas-Fir. "I wonder if we can help?"

"If you look up, you can see something black," said Brock.  
"Wonder what it is? Perhaps it's a Pokémon. Like a Snorlax. I'll wake it up. Go, Charmander!" Charmander came out, and used Flamethrower on the lump. It slowly got smaller, and a small blue thing dropped out and fell into the lava. Ash panicked, and called out Squirtle. The Pokémon used Hydro Pump downwards. The lava cooled and set in seconds, and a lake of water formed above it. The blue thing fell in, and leaped happily about.

"What do you know? The electromagnetic waves have ceased."  
"You're speaking Scinceian again. English?" said Misty sarcastically.  
"The electric stuff isn't going to be beserko anymore."  
"The Lanturn must be free. But the Slugma haven't reached it yet," exclaimed Misty, puzzled.  
"Those idiots down there must 'a freed the Lanturn somehow," suggested Ad. "Let's check."

"Wow. It's a Lanturn," said Ash, after first checking (or do you mean, 'finding out because he's a thicko'–Ed) with the now-working Pokédex. There was a flurry of dust at the entrance. Professor Douglas-Fir, Ad and Misty came bursting in.  
"The black lump up there is lava. The Slugma are melting it, but they don't know that Lanturn's safe!"  
Brock thought. "Oh no! The lava will crash to the floor of the volcano and crush poor Lantern!"

Ash growled.  
"Not if my name's Ash Ketchum!" And with that, he leapt downwards.  
"Ash, no! You'll die!" cried Misty.  
Ash held his breath as he plunged into the boiling water. He looked around, squinting. His eyeballs felt as if they were evaporating. He made out the blurry shape of a blue fish. He grabbed it, and rose to the surface. He felt the wall, trying to find a foothold. He felt a piece of floating rock. Wearily, he hauled himself onto it. He rubbed his eyes. He could see now. He had Lanturn, and was currently floating on a piece of hardened lava. A low rumble came from above him.

There was a rush of air as the block of lava flew past him. The block disintegrated as it hit the lava, throwing deadly splashes high into the air. Ash rode the island he was on up one of these giant waves. The island was tossed into the air like a matchstick, and Ash and Lanturn landed on the cliff edge. The island plunged down into the lava and snapped in two like a twig.

"My God I am so happy you're still alive!" sobbed misty as she ran up to Ash and embraced him. They stood silently hugging for a moment, and then turned to the Lanturn.  
"We ought to bring it up to the pool in the summit," said Ash.  
Misty quickly answered, "But how? The lava is gone from up there."  
"Uh, don't look now, but I wouldn't worry about that," stated Ad alarmingly. "There's generally lava everywhere when a volcano erupts."  
"Oh pants."  
"JUST RUN, DRAT IT!" screamed Professor Douglas-Fir, forgetting herself in the crisis. The gang flung themselves out of the hole, and ran down the mountain accompanied by the William Tell overture. Finally, they ran into the laboratories and looked for a bunker.  
"I can help," piped up a woman. Brock did as he always did, and Misty did as she always did.  
"My name is Sakura. I've got a rocket somewhere; we can blast away from this island."  
"Well, get on with it!" cried Ad. The gang bundled into the rocket. Sakura prodded a few buttons, helped by Professor Douglas-Fir, and the rocket shot off.  
"Space, here we come!" shouted Ash. The rocket stopped. Everyone looked at Sakura, who sweatdropped.  
"Fuel is expensive, you know..." Everyone facefaulted. The rocket dropped.  
"We're going to hit the island!" screamed Brock. The rocket plunged down faster. It hit the water, sending four innocent Trainers flying. Surprisingly, it floated rather well. It cruised leisurely through the water, away from the chaos on Cinnabar, and bobbed over to Pallet Town.  
"Thanks, Sakura," said Misty with more than a hint of irony in her voice. Sakura grinned, and rubbed the back of her neck.  
"I'll be going back to check the Pokémon in the lava. It should have set by now," said Professor Douglas-Fir, waving.  
"Bye!" said Ash.  
And so we leave our heroes as they walk slowly into the start of the adventure all those years ago...

* * *

Like it? Review! Easy as WKL.

I do not own Professor Douglas-Fir (that is BouncyBluePenguin), or Sakura (Mr. Panda), but I still like 'em. What a opportunity for a good story, eh? I'm glad we can return to Pallet. So, in the immortal words of Marie Antoinette...

"I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't do it on purpose."

GOODNIGHT!

Those were her last words. As she boarded the guillotine, she trod on the executioner's toe; hence the odd choice.


	15. An Artist's Pallet: Tracey bashing

Tracey? Tracey, where are you? Tracey?  
"Here." 

Tracey, I promise I won't hurt you...  
"You will!"  
All right, I'll put down the club. No, don't pick it...igh...

(Half an hour later) "Hargh hah harh! I have you trapped!"

Where?  
"The basement of Prof. Oak's lab."  
This is unnecessary. I didn't write a basement.  
"But I did." (picks up pen, which glints in the light) "Say this."  
All right. I promise I will not kill, maim or hurt Tracey in any way in this chapter.  
"Good."  
Grumble...don't worry readers, I'll get him. Sometime. Maybe not today, maybe not tommorrow...but someday, HE WILL PAY!

Anyway, welcome to the next chapter. The gang finds the start of their adventure. But what has changed in two years? Find out in...

**An Artist's Pallet**

Disclaimer: Woopd. (That is Pockotokian for "I do not own Pokemon, but I do own Ad.")

"No Pokémon Centre here, so let's just go Oak's lab," said Misty.  
Brock shook his head. "Count me out! That eejit Tracey's working there."  
"Come on, he can't be that bad."  
"Ad, you've never seen Tracey," said Ash. "He's obsessed with sketching."  
"I get the feeling that this fanfic is going to be a Tracey flamer," commented Misty dryly.  
"Nah, it's going to explain why everyone hates Tracey."  
And why he attacked me.  
"Yeah, that as well, Penpal's chum. If we must."  
A kid ran into the street. He saw the gang, and shouted at the top of his voice, "Ash is back!"  
A woman opened the door to her house looked around, and saw Ash. She ran up to him and hugged him.  
"Ash, I'm so happy that you're back. Please, come in." Ad nudged Ash.  
Ash said, "Oh, this is my mum, Delia Ketchum. Mum, this is Ad. He's guiding me around the Alternative League." Ad held out his wing.  
"Pleased to meet you, Delia." Delia smiled. She turned to Ash.  
"You found a new League? That's nice, dear. Now then," she reached into a basket, "in case you came back, I prepared a special bag of clean underwear for you. Ah, here it is." She pulled out the back, and handed it to Ash. He blushed, and opened his rucksack. He unzipped the 'Clean Underwear' pocket (with built in Tardisification™) and shoved the bag in. He closed everything, and slung the rucksack on his back. Delia closed the door, and they all went into the living room. Just as she was about to ask Ad what the Alternative League was, the doorbell rang. Brock opened it.  
"Ah, good morning," said Oak.  
From the living room, Delia cried, "Good afternoon, Samuel." The rest went outside to greet him.  
"Where's Tracey?" asked Brock stonily.  
Oak said: "I left him back at the lab. He's databasing the PokéBalls."  
Everyone sighed in relief.

Meanwhile, at the lab, the computer was off. Tracey was fiddling round in the back of the PokéBall shelves, and pulling out the occasional PokéBall. He rewired the computer, and switched it on. A man in an electric orange suit appeared on the screen. Tracey winced at the brightness of the clothing.  
"What do you want?" boomed the man.  
Tracey stammered, "I've got some Pokémon, oh great one."  
"Good. Now send them to me."  
"Yes sir." Tracey put the Balls in the transporter, and they vanished.  
"Keep it up." The man disappeared.

"By the way, what's Tracey doing now?"  
"I don't know. Why are you asking me, Oak?"  
"I'm not, Ash. I'm asking the narrator."  
"You can't do that. That's cheating."  
"Well, no need to argue: here he comes."  
At this comment of Ad, Tracey came in.  
"Hi, Professor."  
"Hello, Tracey," chorused everyone except Oak and Delia tiredly.  
"Good afternoon, Tracey," said Delia chirpily, Oak replying in the same manner.  
"Hey, shall we have tea? I can sketch all your Pokémon."  
"Oh boy," thought Misty, but she said: "Sure. If you must. You can go into the garden."  
"Brilliant! Can I have the PokéBalls?"  
"Here you go," said Misty, Ad and Ash, but Brock was skeptical. So Tracey took all the Pokémon except Pikachu, Misdreavus and Brock's Pokémon outside.  
"Umm...lovely weather we're having?" offered Delia. Suddenly, the heavens opened and gallons of water cascaded down. Everyone glared at Delia. She rubbed the back of her neck and said, "Drat, I uses I should know irony well enough now to know that would happen."  
"Just like when you say, "Things couldn't get any worse", they get worse?" asked Ad.  
"Yeah, sort of."

Outside, Tracey grumbled, and set up a Porta-Tent™. He then opened his bag, and took out some TRBalls. Out of one he let out Scyther. He then took one of the PokéBalls from the gang and let out the Pokémon. It was Bulbasaur. Tracey directed Scyther, and the Pokémon quietly used False Swipe. Bulbasaur was too weak to move. Tracey got a TRBall, and captured Bulbasaur. He stuffed it in his backpack. He snickered. This was like taking Rare Candy from a Pichu.

"But, Giovanni, sir, Trig is doing perfectly fine as it is," sniveled the servant.  
"These are the people who defeated Domino (see end of chapter notes if you do not know of this Domino of whom I speak), remember. We have to be careful."  
"Very well, Big G. But I tell you, this is a waste of money, time and resources."  
The thin man disappeared. The fat man thought, and stroked his Persian.  
"Trig is one of my best agents. He must not fail." Persian purred. The man snapped up.  
"That reminds me, he sent those Pokémon. I'd best go and check them." His pager rang.  
"Hello? Is that Viridian Gym? What, a challenger? I'll be right over." He turned his pager off.  
"The PokéBalls will have to wait."

It had been raining for about two hours.  
"I wonder how Tracey is doing. He's probably soaked to the skin," mused Delia.  
"It's lucky oil paints are water-resistant. Poster paint, on the other hand, smudges everywhere. A professional artist like Tracey wouldn't even bother going outside if he was using poster paint–"  
"What oil paint? Tracey only uses poster paint."  
Something clicked in Ash's mind. "But that means he isn't painting." Misty stood up.  
"So what is he doing with our PokéBalls then?"  
"I told you not to trust him!" said Brock as the gang rushed outside.

The PokéBalls rested on the table underneath the PokéBall receiver. They wobbled a bit. The light was bright. The light waves made them wobble a bit more. If the Meowth had patted them instead of just looking, there is a possibility they would have wobbled even more. But as it was, they just wobbled a bit. Not a lot, a bit. They wobbled a bit more as time passed. Eventually, they stopped wobbling. But that was as Meowth patted them, so they started wobbling again. They wobbled.

Tracey had now finished with Ash's Pokémon, and loaded all the TRBalls into a net. He was about to capture Alakazam, when the tent door burst open.  
"What on Earth do you think you're doing?" screamed Brock.  
"Go, Pikachu!"  
"Go, Misdreavus!"  
"Go, Onix!"  
"Go, Scyther!" The three Pokémon looked at Scyther. It looked at them. The three looked at it again. It was at the centre of the triangle the three had formed. They all dove at the Scyther, and collided in mid-air. Scyther bounded away, and used False Swipe. It just shaved Onix's horn. Scyther used Double Team, and split in two. The two halves split in two. Soon, the whole room was filled with images of Scyther. Pikachu waded through the fakes, and crashed into the real one. The Scyther prepared to use False Swipe. But the attack vanished the images, and Misdreavus fired a Shadow Ball. It distracted Scyther.  
"We don't have enough firepower! We need our other Pokémon!" The three Pokémon nodded, and moved behind the net bag the TRBalls were in. Scyther leapt at them, using False Swipe. Before Tracey could yell, "NO!" Scyther had cut through the bag. The gang burst in and grabbed the TRBalls. They called out all their Pokémon. Scyther stepped back, intimidated. All of the Pokémon used Tackle. Scyther flew through the wall of the tent, and into the sky. It disappeared with a 'ping' and a twinkle.  
"Only Team Rocket disappears with a 'ping' and a twinkle!" cried Ash.  
"So Tracey must be..." said Brock.  
"That's right!" said Tracey. "I am Team Rocket agent Trig!"  
"So that's where my PokéBalls have been disappearing to! And why you keep rewiring everything!"  
"Yes. But I see I am outnumbered. So, I bid you farewell!"  
And he leapt up and through the tent. As he went, he said, "I must dial 4281 and warn Big G" quite loudly.

"4281...that sounds like a PokéFax number. I'll check the ball transporter," said Oak.  
They were back in the lab by now.  
He checked. "Yes–it's Celadon City, underneath the Game Corner."  
"That's the Team Rocket HQ!" exclaimed Ash.  
"Well, they have some of my PokéBalls on the table. If I reverse the connection–there. Now, I press the button and..."  
The PokéBalls vanished, and appeared again in the lab. They were no worse for their ordeal, apart from the fact they wobbled quite a bit, and Oak put them back on the shelf. A Meowth also appeared to have been transported. Ash opened a PokéBall and let it in. Oak put that ball on the shelf as well.  
"Well then, I guess I need a new assistant. Brock, you can't stay here, can you?"  
"No, I cannot! Because if I do, some other idiot for everybody else to hate is going to turn up with them!"  
"Okay, okay, no need to get so touchy."  
"Well then, I guess we can go now. It's been nice visiting Pallet, but we've got to go. Goodbye!"  
"Bye, son! Bye, everyone! Come back soon! And don't forget–"  
"To change your underwear every single day," chorused Ash, Misty, Ad and Brock like tired monks.

* * *

And so we leave our heroes as they set off to Viridian City.

Like it? Review! Simple.

So then, a bit of a twist in this chapter. We're getting into Gymish territory now, but the long journey is finished. Anyway, you know I promised that I wouldn't harm Tracey in the chapter? Well, the chapter's over now, so...

Tracey lay back, enjoying life at TR HQ. Suddenly, a hand appeared out of nowhere. It slapped him. "Ow! What's happening?" The chapter's over, so I wrote in a giant comedy hand pen glints in light again. It slapped him again. "Ow!" And again. "OW!" And again...

GOODNIGHT!

Domino appeared in the movie Mewtwo Returns as a Team Rocket agent otherwise known as the Black Tulip. She was one of the main evils.


	16. Don't Interrupt: Part 1 of a twoparter

This story seems to be accumulating a fan base. Slowly. Thanks, in particular, to Mr. Panda for being the new Sailor Evanescence, BouncyBluePenguin for reviewing again, and Rachel for being a new reviewer! It's good to know it's being read. 

OH NO! It's another Gym!

(Du-du-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!)

Once they reach Viridian City, the gang finds the Team Rocket Headquarters. Will that get in the way of a new Badge, in...

**Don't Interrupt**

Disclaimer: Honestly. I can't be bothered to do this. So I will not tell you that I don't own Pokémon. And I will not tell you I do own Ad.

* * *

"Home!" gasped Jessie. Ahead of them was Viridian City.  
"And that's a good thing?" asked James, twiddling his thumbs.  
"Why?" asked Jessie.  
"Well," reasoned Meowth, "we are hated by the boss. Where does the boss work?"  
"Here!" finished James. Jessie thought for a moment.  
"Ah. I understand." She thought for a moment. "Why are we here?"

"Another day, another Gym," said Ash, looking at Viridian City.  
"You mean when we went from Fuchsia to Pallet, it took less than a day?" asked Misty.  
"Er..."  
"And another thing: why didn't you get an Egg card? Sorry: why didn't we go through Viridian Forest?"  
"Writer's block."  
"Ah," acknowledged Brock.  
"Could we just get back to the story?" shouted Ash, a bit peeved.  
"OK, OK," said Misty.  
"Where is the Gym, then?" asked Ash.  
"Probably in there," said Brock, pointing at the Team Rocket Gym.  
"No way! I'm not going in there!" cried Ash. "That's where I got slapped to the bone last time!"  
"Don't remind me," growled Misty.  
"You're half right," said Ad.  
"It's actually underneath the Gym, but we have to pass through to get to the stairs."  
"Oh dear," said Ash.

He wasn't the only person to say "Oh dear". Sodid the three crouched figures.  
"We're gonna be laughed at so much if we go through there!" cried James.  
"Not if I can help it," thought Meowth. He pulled out a remote control.  
"It's time to test the Digatron™!"  
"The what?" asked Jessie.  
"The Digatron™ is a new machine which can dig 14 shovelfuls a second! We can get into the underground!" explained Meowth.  
"Wow! I'm redundant!" said James gleefully.  
"Let's get digging!" said Meowth, pressing a red button.

"These Grunts are intimidating," said Ash, trembling.  
A Grunt grunted, indicating he would have bashed his head in if this were not a family fic.  
"I hope we don't get in any battles. My Pokémon are weak," said Misty, trembling equally hard. A moment's confusion erupted, ending with Misty saying, "Well, I'm not facing the Gym leader, am I?" and everyone shutting up.  
"Hang on," said Ad. There was a statue of a Persian in front of him. He pushed the left eye, held it in, and tapped the right one. The wall slid open. The group cautiously stepped in, and Ad pushed the tail of the Persian, before ducking in again. The door slid slowly shut. As soon as it rested normally again, the floor wobbled. A periscope poked up through a hole in the floorboards, and it rotated. The sound of a muffled "All clear. No twerps or Rockets," was heard from the floor, and a board was sluggishly pushed upwards. Jessie, James and Meowth squeezed out of the hole, and took their bearings.  
"First corridor," said James. "Long way yet. Judging by our height, we'll fall through the wall when we arrive. No more poking through the floorboards for a while, as long as we stay level."  
"How come you're so suddenly being clever?" asked Jessie, puzzled.  
"We had to explain it somehow." Jessie and James withdrew into the tunnel, followed by Meowth, who had been looking at the Persian statue and thinking, "Why doesn't Big G make busts of me?"

"I hate anime staircases. They're so long, they're always spirally, resemble caves and the bloke..."  
"Ahem!"  
"...flying adder at the front always holds a torch." Ash sighed.  
"Then again, the author probably wants to stick to anime conventions."  
"Concentrate on your feet, or we'll all tumble downstairs and land in a pile at the bottom," said Brock sharply. Misty stumbled, and fell onto Ash. He picked her up and put her back.  
"Thanks," said Misty, as Brock said to Pikachu, "See what I mean?"  
"Misdreavus!" cried Misdreavus shrilly. It floated next to a small door. Ad looked closely at it.  
"This isn't the one, but let's check it." The gang piled through the door, and hung in mid-air for the compulsory three seconds, then fell through the non-existent floor. Ad and Misdreavus grabbed Ash and Misty (this, of course, resulted in Misty's bag catching light and almost falling, but Misty caught it), whilst Ash's Pidgeot held Brock who held Pikachu. They floated gently down to the bottom  
"This is quicker than using the stairs"  
and Ash and co landed in a pool of water. There was another door, slightly bigger this time, in the wall. Ad carefully opened the door, chucked a rock in to make sure the floor was solid, and, satisfied, stepped inside, followed by the rest. A man and woman were at the other end of the room.  
"Bernard!" said the man.  
"Barbara!" said the woman.  
"Pleased to meet you!" said the two.

"So you're the Gym Leaders of the sixth Gym?" asked Ash.  
"Aye," replied Bernard.  
"And I have to beat you one at a time?"  
"Aye," replied Barbara.  
"Well, I'm ready to faaaaaaaaaaa!" Ash slid along the floor as if he was break dancing. Bernard and Barbara sweatdropped and rubbed the back of their necks.  
"Well, um, when we made this room, we nicked some tiles from the Gym above," explained Barbara.  
"The sliding ones?" cried Ad.  
"It was dark!" defended Bernard.  
"Never mind," said Ash, stumbling to his feet. "Let's fight!"  
Everyone thought for a moment. Ash looked around, then, shrugging his shoulders shouted, "Go, Charmander!"  
"Go, Nidorino!" said Bernard.  
"Yeargh!" yelled the Grunt. He fell from the ceiling, and landed in the pool.  
"I did say we stole some tiles..." reasoned Bernard and Barbara.  
The Grunt leaped up, took out a PokéBall, and released a Koffing. It used Poison Gas, causing the room to fill with choking fumes. Misdreavus braced itself and flew against the gas.  
"Everyone out of the room!" screamed Ad. The people followed the instructions, apart from Ash. He yelled, "Charmander, use Flamethrower!"  
The Pokémon obeyed, but the stream of fire missed the Koffing. Instead, it set Misdreavus alight. And, by coincidence, as the Pokémon ignited, Koffing let out a jet of gas. This caught fire. So did all the rest of the gas. The room lay in bits around the crew. Ash stepped into the middle of the wreckage.  
"That went well."  
"Come on, let's resume the battle," said Bernard, climbing up. "Nidoran, use Earthquake!" The ground started to wobble and shake. Charmander hid under a pile of rubble.  
"Now, Fissure!"  
A crack opened up under the rubble as Nidoran struck the ground.  
"Charmander!" screamed Ash as the pile of rocks plunged down through the gap. He ran over, to find Charmander hanging onto the edge. The lizard pulled itself up, and used Rage. Fire lit its eyes as it ran full pelt at the Nidoran. It tried to crouch beneath some stone, but to no avail. Charmander catapulted the rock into the air, and Nidoran went flying. It hit a pile of stone, which collapsed, and the Pokémon was buried under a landslide. When Bernard unearthed it, it had fainted.

"Yeah! I got the sixth badge!" said Ash, doing a V-sign. Ad tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Umm, actually..."  
"What?"  
"Don't you remember that you have to defeat both of them?"  
"Yeah, and Barbara is a lot harder to beat than me."  
Whatever Ash said next was disguised by a loud rumbling sound.  
Brock said embarrassedly, "Well, I haven't eaten for a while."  
"THAT'S NOT YOUR STOMACH, YOU DUMB IDIOT!" A small, conical bit of metal poked out of the soil far above. It grew larger and protruded further, until it became a yellow box with a metal cone on the end. It paused for the compulsory three seconds, then fell. The crew stepped back, and the Digatron™ plummeted onto the floor. Three crumpled figures climbed out.  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
This is pretty boring. But as the author, I can do this:  
FAST FORWARD "Touniteallpeopleswithinournation!"  
FAST FAST FORWARD "Tdnuctevlotuhnlv!" "Txtndrrchttestrbv!"  
FAST FAST FAST FORWARD "JsJmTrboatsolSnoptfMtr!"  
That's done with. Now, back to the story.  
"Oh nuts! It's Team Rocket!"  
"What an awkward time! I've got to battle Barbara!"  
And with that, we say...

GOODNIGHT!  
"What?"  
I promised myself I'd do at least one two-parter. So here it is!  
"That's not fair!"  
Look, I promise I'll get the next one up very soon. So look out for Episode 17! GOODNIGHT!

TO BE CONTINUED...

The new QuickEdit feature is awesome, by the way. You see, I forgot to put in the TBC, but I can now! Great idea.


	17. Ba, Ba, Barbara: Part 2

Has the suspense been killing you? I hope not, or there'll be no one left to read this fic. Anyway, the final part of the two-parter reveals whether Team Rocket are beaten – again, whether Barbara will prove to be too much for Ash, whether the sixth badge will elude Ash's grasp, and whether there will be anymore interruptions, in... 

**Ba, Ba, Barbara**

Disclaimer: J epo'u pxo Qplfnpo. (No, not French: Caesar's shift forward 1. Or...

JUST READ CHAPTERS ONE TO TEN!)

* * *

"Ha ha ha ha!" laughed Jessie.  
Currently, the crew was lying amongst the rubble, arguing with the author.  
Meowth tiptoed up, and took Pikachu. Now, this would have been the perfect time to run out the door. But instead, they bungled into the Digatron™. The gang turned to see them preparing to go.  
"Go, Pikachu!" shouted Ash. He sweatdropped and looked around.  
"Pikachu? PIKACHU?" Everyone facefaulted (or anime fell).  
"Squirtle, go!" The Water-type Pokémon came out of its ball.  
"Charmander, use Flamethrower! Squirtle, use Hydro Pump!" The two attacks struck the Digatron™ – and did nothing.  
"You don't know that the Digatron™ is flameproof and waterproof. So there's nothing you can do!" jeered James. He pressed a button, and a jet of water shot out of a hatch. It soaked the gang, and the stones behind them. Another button, and some lightning flew out. Everyone dodged it easily apart from Ash.  
"Ow."

The wall behind frazzled and sparked. Brock examined it. There was a small fragment of metal from the Digatron™'s cone, which was where the sparking was coming from. He called Ash over, and they whispered to each other.  
"Charmander, use Fire Spin!" The tornado of fire spun into the gently whirring nosecone of the machine. This caused areas of the cone to melt.  
TR laughed: "Your fire cannot harm us!" Brock pulled out a PokéBall. "Geodude, go! Use Strength!" The rocky Pokémon pushed the molten metal into a track, leading behind the gang. "Squirtle, use Water Gun!" Team Rocket closed the window they were shouting from. However, the stream of water followed the metal track to the nosecone. "Lightning Attack!" yelled the fearsome threesome, pushing the button. "Now!" shouted Misty. The gang leapt out of the way, and the electricity hit the metal track. It conducted along it, with the help of the water, and hit the nosecone. The power surged through the metal, and short-circuited the control panel.  
"I told you to electricity proof it!" cried Jessie.  
"But we had Pikachu, so we weren't in danger of electricity!" countered James.  
"We are now!" yelled Meowth. The panel exploded, sending a charge through the whole vehicle.  
"How will we say it now?"  
"What about in a really bad French accent?"  
"OK."  
"LOKES LICK TOME RICKET'S BLESTONG UFF IGAN!"  
Ping, twinkle.

"Now that's dealt with, it's time to challenge me!" said Barbara.  
"You're on!" replied Ash.  
"Let's move out of here to battle."  
Barbara cleared some rubble to reveal a trapdoor.  
The crew climbed through the door, up another staircase, and emerged in a large stone hall, with a moat running through the middle.  
"One-on-one, no time limit!" said Bernard. Ash and Barbara squared each other up.  
"I will use Sandslash!" said Barbara, chucking the Ball.  
Ash threw another Ball, saying: "Squirtle, go!"  
"Begin!" shouted Bernard, dropping his hand. Sandslash did a somersault over the river, and Squirtle dove in. When Sandslash was hanging in mid-air over the river, Squirtle aimed a Water Gun straight up. It caught Sandslash's leg. The Pokémon dropped onto the floor, and collapsed. It pulled itself up, dragging its foot along the ground, and shot some sand into the air. It landed in Squirtle's eyes. The turtle flinched and fired a water jet. It hit the riverbank. It fired more frenzied attacks, and they all missed. Sandslash approached. It dug into the ground, and popped out under the river. It then retreated into the tunnel. The river started to drain. Squirtle felt it, and plunged underwater. The force of the water draining cleansed its face. Squirtle looked around, and saw the draining water: alarmed, it swam into the tunnel. It dug into the floor and kicked the dirt up, clogging the tunnel. It rammed forward, through the tunnel, and hit a hard object; undaunted, it continued pushing, and the object popped out like a champagne cork.

Sandslash flew out of the tunnel it was stuck in, hit the ceiling, and landed in the now-still river. Squirtle hauled itself out of the cave to see the fretting Barbara trying to reach Sandslash. Squirtle sprang into the water, and pulled Sandslash. The plug in the tunnel started to ease away. Squirtle grabbed the bank, and the plug came away. It lost its grip and the unfortunate Sandslash started to get sucked down the tunnel. Squirtle's eyes widened, and it let go of the bank. Fumbling about in the water, it felt a pat from Sandslash's hand. It tugged on it, and smiled. The force from the water falling away was powerful, but it paddled with all its might. Succeeding, it heaved Sandslash onto the bank, and then lugged itself on too.

Barbara rushed over to Sandslash.  
"Are you OK? Speak to me!"  
"San..." said Sandslash. It opened its eyes, and breathed heavily.  
"Yes!" cried Barbara. She looked at Ash. He was leaning over the fainted Squirtle.  
"Oh–sorry."

In the Pokémon Centre, the gang waited outside the room.  
"The sad thing is," said Ad, "that your Squirtle fainted before the Sandslash, so, technically, you lost." Ash paced the room.  
"I'll never finish the Alternative League like this, or all my Pokémon'll be finished." The light flashed. The Chanseys wheeled the stretcher out into the waiting room. Ash rushed over, and peeled back the blanket. Underneath, Squirtle popped happily up.  
"Squirt squirt Squirtle!"  
"Thank goodness you're OK!" Ash thought for a moment.  
"I know you may have lost the battle, but don't worry. I still care for you."  
Bernard nudged Barbara. "Now."  
Barbara stepped forward. "Um, I know how brave Squirtle was, so so that it doesn't have to fight again, I want you to have this." She held out a small, ovoid egg-shaped object coloured grey. "It's the Pebble Badge," explained Barbara.  
"But I didn't win!" said Ash in protest. "Yes, but your Squirtle fought so bravely back then, I think I just have to stop it being forced to battle again."  
"OK." Ash thought. "I got the sixth Badge!"  
"Ah ah ah!" Misty wagged her finger.  
"Squirtle got the sixth badge!"  
"Squirt!" said Squirtle, doing a V-sign.  
"I already explained to Misty ages ago: that's my sign!"  
"Well, Ash," said Brock, "you should be flattered that other people are copying your sign."  
"SHUTTUP!"

"You failed me?"  
"W-w-well, sir, I tried as hard as I could, but they were just too powerful."  
"Come here, you!" boomed the man. The servant scampered over.  
"You promised me he would not fail!"  
"I never did, sir. I said that he was guaranteed to win."  
"Big difference," said the man. The man who spoke second started to creep away.  
"Stay here! It is you who are causing me this discussion anyway. The least you can do is listen."  
"S-s-sorry boss. I thought I was finished with."  
"Right. I'll refer you to the Department of Evil Plans. Listen to them, then get snatching!' The servant and stammering man left. The boss leaned back in his chair, and stroked his cat.  
"This must work."

* * *

Whoa! A spooky ending to that one. Sorry if you've had to wait a while, but I'm hoping it's worth it.

GOODNIGHT!


	18. April, May, June, July

AH-HA! Welcome to _Knowing Me, Knowing You_ with me, Penpal's chum. Today, a company gets the best of Ash and co, but will the company come up against stiff rivalry, in...  
  
**April, May, June, July**  
  
Disclaimer: IdonotownPokémonorStarTrekONWITHTHEFIC!  
  
"I'm flying!" cried Ash as he swooped through the air, doing loop-the- loops. Misty sidled up to him. "Oh yeah? So where are we going, smarty-pants?"   
"Er..." Ash sweatdropped. Pidgeot started to anime-fall, but rose after Ash screamed at it.  
"Where are we going?" puzzled Brock. Ad pulled out the giant map. "Saffron City."  
"Let me see that!" ordered Ash, tugging on the map. It slipped out of their hands.   
"The contract! Sorry. The map!" Ash rushed through the air to get it. Unfortunately, Pidgeot didn't. "Drat."   
Ash started to fall. "Yeargh!" He landed with an 'oomph' on the gently drifting map. It reared up, and floated.   
"We seem to have acquired a magic map," said Brock dryly. Ad fluttered over to it [he was hanging from Misdreavus, and used his wings to fly over to the map; it would be too far for him to use his wings to Fly ordinarily for long distances] and landed. "Comfy." The rest of the group flew over, returned their Pokémon, and sat on the huge map.   
"Just like a magic carpet," commented Ash. Ad commenced explaining that there was nothing magic about it; it was just very large, and therefore drag made it drift in the air; and they were simply riding rising air currents; but nobody listened, so there is no point in going into the finer details here.  
  
The drifting map and the drifting Trainers landed outside Silph Co. A woman rushed out of the door, looking backwards.   
"You can't fire me! I'll get that sale, if it's the last thing I do! Then you can't fire me!" She tripped over the gang.   
"Who are you?" asked Ad as the girl picked herself up off the ground.   
"Lily. MHME™, A&FS-P™."   
"What does that mean?" asked Ash as Lily dusted herself off.   
"It means 'Member of the Honourable May Enterprises™, Associate & Former Sub- President™."   
"I still don't understand."   
"I used to run the blasted thing."   
"Oh."  
"What exactly is May Enterprises™?" questioned Ad as Lily sat down on the map. She pointed at it.   
"Here is Saffron City, right? Well, after that bust-up with Team Rocket, Silph Co got kicked out. But they needed a manufacturing company to get money for Saffron, so we came in. Unfortunately, we aren't the only source of money. The filthy Freda & Rika Industries™ sprang up there," with one hand she pointed to the north side of Saffron on the map, and with the other, she pointed to the actual north, "and we've been losing money whilst Saffron has been getting richer, what with two companies forking out all their dosh. Now, there's going to be a contest to decide which company gets a grand prize from Saffron, and I've been fired. I need to make a sale so I can get back in." She shook her head and sighed. Suddenly, she snapped her head up to look at the gang, eyes glinting.  
"Say, you couldn't help me, could you?"  
  
"Mr. Mayor?" The servant shook the Mayor of Saffron.   
"Ohhhhhhhh...I've got a terrible...AH...pain in my stomach. I won't be able to host the contest. Call...YAH...my friend and tell him – tell him to come."   
"Yes sere, sir!"   
The servant took up the phone, called a doctor, and then called the Mayor's friend.   
"Ah ha. I'll be there right away." The friend hung up, and smiled. The Big G was going to be happy tonight.  
  
"Get your PokéBalls here! Guaranteed capture! Ah, you, young lass. Want to buy something?" Ad leaned over the stall counter. "I'll give you a Great Ball for free if you remind me to hit Lily later."  
"Deal." Freda took the PokéBalls. "Hang on. Sis, did he just say Lily?"   
"I think he did, Mistress Freda," said Rika politely.   
"This Lily, she wouldn't happen to be the MHME™, A&FS-P™ Lily, would she?" interrogated Freda.   
"She would, miss," replied Ad.  
Freda punched her hand. "Dirty rotten scoundrel! Tricking you into working for the horrid May Enterprises!"   
Ash came over. "By any chance, do you work for Freda & Rika Industries™?"   
"Dangnabit, we RUN Freda & Rika Industries™!"   
"They are Freda & Rika. Weren't you listening?" said Misty cynically.   
"Nah. I prefer Hamtaro fics, myself."   
"Boys." Misty sighed and went back to peddling.   
"You wouldn't like to work for us, would you?" asked Rika.   
"You bet!" screamed Ash.  
  
The next few weeks were very confusing ones. Ash and co. had two signs. When Freda or Rika passed, they hoisted up the 'F&RI™' one, and when Lily passed by, they hauled up the 'ME™' sign. Once, they both passed, but they were having such a passionate argument they didn't notice that the gang had anime-fallen and not hoisted any sign. The day of the contest drew nearer, and the money for TIAC™ (The Independent Ad Corporation™) was raked in: half for Lily, half for Freda and Rika. Lily got reinstated, now as President of May Enterprises, and everything went according to plan.  
  
It was the 15th of May, the day of the contest. Freda, Rika and Lily went down to the city centre, and put their earnings on either side of a gigantic set of scales. The servant came up onto the stage in front of the scales.   
"With deep regret, I must state that the Mayor cannot be here. So, instead, here is his longest friend!"   
There was applause as the mayor's friend sauntered up onto the stage and behind the table.   
"I recognize him," thought Ad.   
"Thank you, thank you. It's been a wonderful day. I have the winning company name in this envelope. Drum roll please."   
The timpani to the side rumbled.   
"And the winning company is...Team Rocket!"   
"WHAT?" yelled the crowd as a hook from the sky latched onto the giant scales. The mayor's friend ripped off his disguise.   
"Now I remember!" said Ad. "That's your Tracey, or Trig, or Toilet, or whatever."   
"Trig!" cried Lily. "Public Enemy Number Two-Thousand, Eight Hundred and Sixty-Two!"   
"You know him?" said Brock, bamboozled.   
"He's infamous here as a Pokémon snatcher. Stole Sabrina's Haunter. Gave it back, of course, when he discovered it did nothing but laugh."   
"Wasn't that number two in the recent TV programme, _1,000 of Team Rocket's Biggest Mess-Ups_™?" inquired Freda.   
"Yeah. It was narrowly beaten by hiring Jessie, James and Meowth," answered Rika helpfully.   
"Can we move away from my biggest blunders to capturing some Pokémon?" asked Trig.   
"Affirmative," said Mr. Spock, falling out of a plot hole. He climbed in again, muttering, "That was illogical, Captain."  
  
"Who'll you be failing to catch today then, Toilet?" said Ad.   
"TRIG! And I'll be capturing that Pikachu – with this!" Trig produced a small piece of PCG™ (Previously Chewed Gum™).   
"How is that going to capture my super-strong Pikachu?" asked Ash challengingly.   
"Like this," sneered Trig. He stuck the gum underneath the table in front of him. Pikachu ran forward, and under the table. It got stuck to the gum.   
"So what? I'll just thrash you with my other Pokémon!"   
"No you won't!" screamed Trig, throwing out more gum. It stuck the PokéBalls shut.   
"What will I do?" thought Ash. He spotted the nachos which had been laid aside for the winning company's feast. "That's the answer!"  
  
Quick as a flash, Ash darted to the table, plonked the nachos into the chilli dip, and ate them. He then breathed a stream of fire that melted the gum holding the PokéBalls shut.   
"Charmander, Squirtle, Bulbasaur, go! Bulbasaur, use Vine Whip!"   
The plant Pokémon extended some vines and grabbed Trig.   
"Charmander, use Flamethrower!"   
The jet of flame superheated the vines, and Trig got burnt.   
"Squirtle, use Hydro Pump!"   
Finally, Trig got washed into the giant scales by the water. Ash came up, used some chilli to dissolve the gum sticking Pikachu, and directed him. Pikachu Thunderbolted the rope hanging up the scales, and they crashed down, bouncing Trig out. Pikachu Thundered Trig, and he flew away with a 'ping' and a twinkle.  
  
"Thanks," said Lily, Freda and Rika. "Saffron's money is safe thanks to you. And I think Freda, Rika & May Limited™ will be able to carry on in peace and harmony."   
"All in a day's work for Ash Ketchum: Corporate Detective!" said Ash, doing a V-sign.   
Everyone anime-fell, apart from Misty and Lily. Lily sidled up to Misty and asked, "Is he always such a jerk?"  
  
And so, we watch as the gang fly off on their still-growing magic map into the sunset.  
  
Waydeehoho! Chapter 18 is finished! I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will probably feature a Gym. Anyway, I'm hopeful that you enjoyed another appearance from Trig. And so, in the immortal words of Mr. Balloon...  
  
Pop.  
  
GOODNIGHT!


	19. Game On!

A/N: Just like to say that Mr. Panda was done his fiftieth chappie, and I advise you to read it NOW. Or else. Ad actually appeared in that chapter, which I am grateful for, and I may nick some original characters off of some other people as well; so beware! To clarify: Ad is not human. He is a "small, blue, flying adder-like thing". Finally, May of May Enterprises™ is not May of Hoenn. You'll probably be meeting the former later.  
  
So then, the gang has defeated Trig again, and we left them flying off from Saffron. Their next Gym challenge will be in Celadon. Shall we see what happens? Well, it's all in...  
  
Game On!  
  
"Left!" screamed Ash as Ad attempted to land the flying map. He veered away from the shopping centre.   
"Right!"  
Ad steered towards the pond.   
"No! The other right!"   
"Too late!" screamed Ad as the map refused to turn. The map braked a metre away from the pond, and the gang plunged in. Ash spluttered as he worked his way to the edge. He pulled out an Ultra Ball and tossed it into the pond. It came out, and Ash released half a tonne of Grimers and Muks.   
"Jusb like Gringy City," commented Brock, holding his nose, as the Grimers and Muks returned.  
"Professor Oak is dot bowing to be hoppy," added Misty as she recalled last time.   
"Where do we want to bow?" asked Ash as he pressed the white button on his Pokédex. The stink receded as the Grimers and Muks disappeared.   
Ad trudged wetly through the grass to the map. "The Bame...sorry, Game Corner. Underneath it is Robert, Gym Leader seven. Chance Badge. Let's go."  
  
The group shuffled, soaking, over to the Game Corner. They entered, and immediately sopped to the radiator. They floppily bent over it. "So...warm...heat...drying..." said Ash, dribbling with comfort. He flowed off of the radiator into a puddle on the floor.   
An hour later, the heat dried his clothes completely. He sprang up, bone dry. "Let's go!" he said. The others lay in their puddles. Ash sweatdropped. "Let's rest first."  
  
The gang walked through the endless aisles of slot machines.   
"Ooh! Win a customized Pokédex!" Misty darted to the slot machine, and pulled. Out rolled a blue Pokédex, the Mistydex. She opened it, and Mistdexter chimed, "I am Mistdexter. I really don't think these customized Pokédex jokes are funny anymore. Therefore, I will self-destruct in 10 seconds. 10...9..." Misty jammed the 'dex into the machine. It exploded with a minuscule mushroom cloud. "Aww..."   
Ad tapped the wall. It sounded hollow.   
"Cool! The hidden door!" said Ash. He walked into it.   
Ad tapped the wall again, saying, "Because of the HQ below, all the walls are hollow. Apart from the one the lift is behind," the wall sounded solid, "this one, of course." He shoved the wall, and it span.   
"Strange," said Ash, "the poster's disappeared." Ad was already keying in the ground floor number. "Wait up!"  
  
"Ground...floor," said Broxter and Mistdexter in unison. They returned to the Job Centre.   
Ash and co. left the lift, and looked around. There was a trapdoor in the ceiling next to the lift entrance. They climbed through.   
"Hullo," said a familiar voice. Ash looked up. A tall man dressed in green was there.   
"My name is Robert, seventh Gym Leader."   
"My name is Ash Ketchum, seventh-Gym-leader-thrasher."   
"Are you sure about that?" said Robert, smirking. He pulled out a giant die. "Chance time!" He threw the die. "Six. That means I use Ponyta. Your turn." He passed the die to Ash. "One is Bulbasaur, two is Charmander, three is Squirtle, four is Pikachu, five is Sentret, and six is Furret."   
"Three three three three..." wished Ash, throwing the die. It was a one. "Nuts. Bulbasaur, go."  
  
Bulbasaur burst out, and snarled. It looked up. It stood on its hind legs. It fell over. Only then, wiggling its legs in the air, did it see Ponyta towering above it. Ponyta used Flamethrower. Bulbasaur rolled away swiftly, and used Vine Whip. The vines ignited, and Bulbasaur whipped them hastily about, trying to put them out. In its franticness, it did not notice that Ponyta was rearing up. The horse Pokémon used Flame Wheel, and the fiery hoop narrowly missed Bulbasaur. It sucked up the fire, and prepared to use Solarbeam. It was just about to fire.  
"Wait! You can't do that. You have to throw the die." Ash stared at the die.   
"One, two, three, four, five or six means you can use Solarbeam. Anything else, and I use Stomp."   
"OK then..." said Ash reluctantly. He threw the die.   
"Seven," said Robert. "Stomp!"  
"What?" screamed Ash as Ponyta stamped on Bulbasaur. The solar energy inside Bulbasaur leaked out, and the room was filled with a bright light. Everyone winced. As the light cleared, Ash could make out a green lump, sitting stock still in the middle of the hall. A fiery horse was standing, triumphant, over it.   
"Bulbasaur!" screamed Ash. He looked up, tearful, and lunged at Robert. He picked up the die, and slammed it on the floor. "You and your wretched die! Look what you've done to be Bulbasaur!"   
"Six," said Robert coldly. "Furret."   
"I'll show you!" said Ash, releasing Furret. "Get that Ponyta! Frustration!"  
  
"For goodness' sake," thought Furret, "he's really weird today. Not like he was on the handcar. So annoyed...so annoying. Honestly." Furret started to glow purple. "That really takes the biscuit. My Trainer's gone mad, and I'm glowing purple. I'll kill the next thing I see." It opened its eyes, and saw Ponyta. "So be it."  
  
Furret leapt at the startled Ponyta, and butted and clawed it. Ponyta bolted around the hall, treading on the die.  
  
"Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" came a squeal from the die. Ash was taken aback. "Huh?"   
The die flashed pink. A lightbulb flashed on in Ash's brain.   
"Thank goodness for that, I couldn't see," thought Furret as it leapt rabidly at the Ponyta again.   
"Furret! Attack the die!" shouted Ash.   
"Has he gone mad?" thought Furret as he rammed the die.  
  
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked the die. It Transformed back into its original form.   
"No wonder it chose one and seven and six and all that! Robert's cheating!" Furret slashed Robert. His green costume fell off to reveal a Team Rocket costume.  
  
"Trig!" screamed the group as Trig stood there imposingly.   
Furret smiled to itself smugly. "Just thought I'd give him a clue..."   
"Yes, it was me. But you'll never defeat me with a weakened squad!"   
"Let's see," said Ash. He rummaged about in his IPS [everyone gets one, not just the girls] and pulled out a die, loaded to four. He tossed it at Ditto, who Transformed. Ash picked up the die.   
"Let's just see."   
He threw it. "Four. Pikachu, go!"   
"I thought you'd never ask," thought Pikachu as it dashed into the fray.   
"Use Thunderbolt!" said Ash.   
Pikachu stood next to Trig, and tapped him on the shoulder.   
"What d'ya want? I'm doing some DIY twerp thrashing." Trig turned around. Pikachu smiled, and used Thunderbolt.  
  
"LOOKS LIKE TRIG (ROCKET) IS BLASTING OFF FOR THE THIRD TIME!" [Ping, twinkle]  
  
There was a thumping from the wall of the hall. Ad knocked, and the wall fell open. A tall man tumbled out.   
"Robert!" exclaimed Ad.   
"Yes. Where's that horrid man gone?" asked Robert.  
"We," (Ash coughed) "_he_ defeated him," said Ad proudly.   
Robert turned to Ash. "Oh, thank you. You've saved me. Here's your reward." Robert held out a small metal disc, split in half. One half had a head on it, and the other a tail.   
"Chance Badge," clarified Robert. "It's the least I can offer. I guess you've one more Badge until you finish the Alternative League?"   
"And the Masters," interjected Ad.  
"Yeah."   
"Well, I'll help. You can find the final Leader in Lavender Town. Their name is Chelsea: Chelsea Oddhill. Friend of Freda and Rika Conehill, I believe."   
"Thanks," said Ash, grasping his badge. "Lavender Town, here we come!  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Wahey! I hope you enjoyed the one...two...seventh Gym battle, and an unexpected twist. As far as I know, from Celadon you go east to Saffron, then east to Lavender. If that is wrong, tell me so I can get the route right.  
  
And so, in the immortal words of the certificate explainer...  
  
Thanks for listening! /  
/  
---- /  
  
GOODNIGHT! 


	20. Ghost Town

Guten Mörgen. Ich bin der Fruend von die Breiffreundin. Hier ist der andere Bund. Genießen!  
  
Translation: Good morning. I am the friend of the penfriend [i.e. Penpal's chum.] Here is the Alternative League. Enjoy!  
  
**

* * *

Ghost Town**  
  
Disclaimer: I........................................do..................................................not.........................own...............................................Pokémon...... ...............,..........................but.........................I.................................do.....................................own..................................Ad.  
Bloke from Guinness World Records: Congratulations! You've won the "Longest Disclaimer in the History of Life, the Universe and Everything" Award! [Hands over award]   
Me: Gee, thanks. [Puts trophy next to other miscellaneous awards]  
  
"This town..."   
"...Aaaaah ah..."   
"...Is comin' up a ghost town..."   
"...Aaaaah ah..."   
"Stop that, Ash! You're giving me the creeps." Misty shuddered.   
"Geez, sorry." Ash clicked his fingers, and the ghostly choir of Haunter and Gastly [note that the plural form of Haunter is not Haunters; likewise with Gastly] disappeared.

They were in Lavender Town. The map had crashed into Lavender Tower.   
"I thought this had been turned into a radio transmitter," said a confused Misty.   
"Nah," said Brock, "according to the Guidebook [in Pokéworld, the Guidebook is even considered an authority above the Bible] the radio company went bust, and had to move. They were called May Enterprises, apparently. The proprietor's ghost is said to wander around the tower."   
"I'd hate to go in there," said Ash. "Where's Chelsea's gym, then?"  
"Um..." Ad pointed his wing upwards. Everyone sweatdropped.   
"OK then...what say you we skip this gym challenge?" said Ash, wide-eyed.  
"It'll be simple," said Ad. "You just go to the Pokémon Centre, hand in all your Badges, and they give 'em to the next person that comes to the counter."   
"Alright then. Anything to not go in there."  
  
In the Pokémon Centre, Nurse Joy was being given a load of Badges for a Pokémon organization that she did not even know existed.   
"No, but...yes, I know they could be counterfeit...and I would, but I'm...you're not listen...JUST GIVE THEM TO THE NEXT PERSON THAT COMES ALONG, OK?"  
The bell rang. A group of cheerleaders swarmed in, holding a man with brown hair above them. They were coming towards the counter.   
"On second thoughts," said Ash, grabbing the box of Badges out of the hands of a bemused Joy, "I'll take them after all." As he left, he blew a raspberry at Gary.  
  
"Are you sure you're going in?" asked Misty, shivering.   
"Yep."  
"Well, bye then!" Misty, Brock and Ad stepped back.   
"Aren't you coming in?" cried Ash.  
"Let me think," said Brock, putting his finger on his chin. "No."  
"Fine." Ash went in. He turned his head, expecting to see the rest shouting, "Wait for me!"   
They weren't.   
Sweatdropping, he went back out and dragged everyone else into the tower.  
  
"Misty, look behind you!" shouted Brock. Misty turned, and he swiped her mallet. "This could come in handy sometime," he said to himself, thinking about how he could avoid getting whacked the next time he fell in love. "I don't think I'll tell her I've got it." He tucked it away in his IPS.

"Careful not to bump into the proprietor's ghost, OK?" said Ad, cautiously.  
"Right," said Ash.   
"Right," said Misty.  
"Right," said Brock.   
"Right," said the ghost.   
Brock turned. "AH! Ghost!"   
"Where?" said the ghost, alarmed. Everyone looked.   
"W-w-who are y-y-you?" asked Ash, all colour drained out of his skin.   
"I believe I'm May, founder of May Enterprises," replied the ghost, "but why do you ask?"   
"Y-y-you're the p-pro-proprietor's ghost?" stammered Misty, teeth chattering.   
"Am I?" asked May, confused. "I'm surely not a ghost. See, look, I can..." May drew back her hand, and attempted to punch Brock.   
"Why me?" asked Brock.  
Because you're the most minor character here.   
"Why don't you punch Ad?" Because I like Ad, plus his contract strictly says no punching between 18.00 and 17.59 and 59 seconds.   
Anyway, the flabby punch passed straight through Brock.   
"...touch you," finished May, trailing off.  
  
"I'm a ghost! But I'm not dead! I'm too young to die?"   
"How old are you?" asked Ad.   
"Only 100, but anyway, I don't remember dying!"   
"Well, it happened 40 years ago, so it can't be that hard," said Ash sarcastically.   
"How am I going to run the Saffron branch of May Enterprises against Freda & Rika Industries?" Ash sweatdropped. "I wouldn't worry about that now..."  
  
The group finished explaining to May everything that had happened, and their newest mission.   
"You want me to help you up the tower, and in return I can come with you to learn about the world, and maybe restore you to life? You've got a deal."   
May reached out her hand, and it went through Ash. She rubbed the back of her neck and sweatdropped. "I really must stop doing that." Everyone anime- fell.   
"Anyway, I think Chelsea's gym is right up here. Follow me." May climbed the stairs. The rest wearily followed.  
  
"Hmm. I think Penpal's chum has run out of ideas. So it's up to us to fill the rest of the half-hour!"  
"Right on, Jessie! Let's spin the wheel of fortune and see what diabolically dumb plan we have today!"   
Meowth span the wheel. "Oh, the conveyor belt will tell us the answer!" The machine in the background whirred. "Our plan this ep is...A CUDDLY TOY!" cried Jessie and James happily.  
"I knew we shouldn't have rented this from Jim Davison," said Meowth, wiping its face with its paw. "But that gives me an idea. A cuddly toy and a conveyor belt."  
  
"Just one more flight of stairs!" said May, grinning like a Cheshire cat.   
"That's what you said for the last five flights," groaned Ash.   
Brock shrieked, "Oh! My lumbago!"   
"Across this room and – Haunter! Get back!" ordered May. Brock reversed, and bumped into something. He swivelled. "Gengar!"  
"Gastly," shouted Misty, "we're surrounded."   
Ash pulled out his Pokédex, and looked up Gastly.   
"The trio of Gastly evolutions stay still so their prey are unsuspicious, then strike when the foe moves," offered Dexter.   
"Don't – move – a – muscle," whispered Ad.   
Suddenly, a net fell from the ceiling and trapped them. The floor moved, like a giant conveyor belt. They were squeezed through the skirting board, and were soon dangling from the ceiling of the floor below.   
The ghost Pokémon fell. "I'll see if they did this," said Ad, struggling and pulling out his Adderdex. He pointed it at the Haunter.   
"Haunter doll. Use this to decorate your bedroom," droned Adexter.   
"Dolls!" screamed Ash. "We're stuck in here because of a doll!"   
"Who could have thought of such a diabolically dumb plan?" cried Misty.   
"Glad you asked," said James.

[FUNKY REMIX VERSION]   
"To to-to-to protect the world from devasta-tion!" "To to-to-to unite all peoples within our na-tion!" "Todenouncetheevils..." "Oftruthandlove..." "To-extend-our-reach to the sta-ars above!" "Jeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssie!" "Jaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmes!" "Team Ro-ro-rocket, blast off at thespeedoflight!" "Sur-ur-urender now, or preparetofight!" "Me-OOOOWWWWWWth that'sright!" [Applause from audience as TR pose, and flowers are thrown in. Meanwhile, Ash and co. escape.]

"I knew it was you, and I'm going to teach you a lesson! Pikachu, go!" hollered Ash. Pikachu leapt forward.   
"Spin the wheel, sharpish!" said Jessie. Meowth span it.   
"And our Pikanapping plan for today is ice-cream!"   
"Yay! Ice cream!" shouted Oxnard [I don't own Hamtaro either], happily splashing about in a pool of ice-cream.   
"Get back into the plothole you crawled out of!" shouted Jessie, kicking Oxy into the plothole.   
"Hey! That's my favourite Hamtaro character you kicked there! Now you're really for it!" bellowed Ash.   
"I don't know Ash, I would have done the same," considered Misty. Ash ignored her. "Pikachu, use Thunder!" The bolt zapped toward Team Rocket. James held up a giant comedy vat of ice- cream, and the electricity was soaked up. James pelted balls of 'cream at Pikachu, who got coated in it, and shocked by the super-charge.   
"Har har!" said Jessie, doing an impression of Professor Fiendish. [and NO, I do not own Murderous Maths] "Ice-cream is a superb insulator of electricity, so it gets charged. We just release the charge on Pikachu, and you're defeated!"   
"Are you sure about that?" asked Ash, releasing Charmander and Squirtle.   
"Yes, pretty," answered James.   
"Charmander, melt the ice-cream!" said Ash. Charmander used Ember, which melted the ice-cream. James put down the vat, and blew on his burnt hands.   
"Squirtle, use Water Gun to overflow the vat!" Squirtle released individual jets of water [if it had come out in one big stream, Squirtle would have been electrocuted], which slowly filled the tank. Soon, the vat overflowed, drenching Jessie, James and Meowth in super charged ice-cream. They gasped as the electric shocks paralysed them.   
"Squirtle, clean Pikachu!" Squirtle used a weak Water Gun, and cleaned Pikachu. With rage in its eyes, Pikachu used a Thunderbolt, which fried the already shocked Team Rocket. So it was...   
"SKOOL EKIL MAET S'TEKCOR GNITSALB FFO NIAGA!" [Ping, twinkle]  
  
"Yep. This is the entrance to Chelsea's gym," said May, as they reached the top of the tower. "Do this, and you'll be on to the Masters. Good luck."   
And so, Ash and friends entered the room on top of Lavender Tower which housed the eight and final Gym; that of Chelsea Oddhill.

* * *

I' m exhausted. This is probably the longest chapter of the series (or a 45- minute special), so enjoy it while it lasts. I guess this fic is almost finished. I'll definitely write something else afterwards. I've already got a one-shot Advance Wars story written, but I'll wait until this is over.   
  
To everyone reading, goodnight and Finish Your Fics!


	21. No Such Thing

Good mor-NING! I'm so happy [musical note]. This story will be finished soon. And then I can write another one. Yay! [another musical note]  
  
Heniway, the eighth and final Gym looms in front of the gang. Will they get the Badge? Find out, in:  
  
**No Such Thing**  
  
Disclaimer: I own a lot of stuff. Pokémon is not an example. Ad is.  
  
"Misdrea!"   
Ad turned to Misdreavus. It was struggling against an invisible wall.   
"How come we can't get through, but Misdreavus can't?" asked Ash.   
"I don't know. I guess we'll find out inside," said Brock, motioning to the door.   
"I'm staying out here with Misdreavus," said Ad. He turned to May. "I think you'll have to stay here as well."   
"Yup," said May, knocking on the wall, "I will. Goodbye then. Ask Chelsea what this barrier is."   
"Yes siree," said Ash, climbing through the door.  
  
There was a small, circular room through the door. Sitting in the centre was a small girl, fretting and looking jumpily around.   
"Excuse me?" asked Ash timidly. The girl leapt up and darted behind her chair. She peeked out from behind.   
"W-w-what d-do you w-want? D-do you have any g-g-ghosts with you?" she stammered meekly.   
"Yes; two actually..." started Ash, but Misty clamped her hand over his mouth. "No, none, whatsoever."  
"Can you check if there are any g-ghosts caught in the ghostproof wall trap?" requested the girl, creeping out, standing up, and tipping her head onto her shoulder.   
"Um...there are two," said Brock, "but they're our friends. They won't hurt you."   
"You are com-ple-tely sure about that?" said the girl, the hairs standing up on the back of her neck.  
"Yes."   
"Alright then. But don't say I didn't warn you." The girl pulled a small lever by the side of her chair. There was a scream from outside, and Misdreavus and May tumbled in. The girl gasped.   
"I know that Misdreavus. Ad!"  
And, speak of the devil, Ad stumbled through the door.  
  
"What happened to the wall, Chelsea?"   
"I neutralized it. But I think I'd better start it up again." Chelsea reversed a connection, and pulled the lever again.   
"What do you need an anti-ghost wall for?" asked Ash, bamboozled.   
"Well..." said Chelsea, shifting her gaze and twiddling her thumbs, "I'm scared of ghosts."   
"WHAT?" yelled Ad. "YOU LIVE ON TOP OF LAVENDER TOWER, THE MOST HAUNTED PLACE IN POKÈWORLD, AND YOU'RE SCARED OF GHOSTS?!?"   
"Yes, and there's no need to shout," said Chelsea, annoyed. "I just felt that here was the only place they wouldn't dare come. It being high up, sunlight pouring in, all that."   
"Ah. Anyway, I didn't come here to muck about with ghostproof walls. I came here to battle!"   
"Alright. If you insist."  
  
"The challenger, Ash Ketchup of Pallet Town, will face the Leader, Chelsea Oddhill, in a two-on-two battle, time limit five minutes."   
"Funny name," remarked Chelsea.   
"It's Ketchum really. Brock's just dumb."  
"I choose you, Bayleef!"   
"Charmander, go!"   
The two Pokémon squared up. Charmander was going to have to finish this – and fast. He let out a quick Ember. Bayleef dodged, and used Razor Leaf. The leaves whipped past Charmander, and got caught in the flame. Charmander span around, and the leaves went flying out. They hit Bayleef like little bullets.   
"Bay!"   
"Four minutes!"  
Bayleef struggled to its feet, limped over to Charmander, and used Stomp. It trod on its fiery tail. Charmander howled in pain; so did Bayleef. Bayleef had burnt its foot badly. Now was Charmander's chance... It used Fire Spin. The vortex of flames surrounded Bayleef, and its leaf was burnt. It tried to tend its leaf and foot at the same time, failed, and fell over backwards.  
  
"Bayleef, return. Croconaw, go!"   
"Three minutes!"  
Croconaw leapt out, and looked at Charmander. It used Bubblebeam. Charmander sidestepped. Croconaw tried again. Charmander sidestepped again. Croconaw used Bubble, and the huge bubble floated into Charmander, breaking in half. The two halves came together and encased Charmander. Charmander started floating into the air. Croconaw sniggered, and used Water Gun. The stream of water pierced the bubble, and Charmander came crashing down. It fainted.  
  
"Two minutes!"   
"Pikachu, I choose you!"   
Pikachu jumped into the fray. It had just two minutes to faint Croconaw. It looked around. The floor was bare. Pikachu used Thunderbolt, but Croconaw jumped away. Croconaw used Bubblebeam. The bubbles hit Pikachu, but hardly did any damage. Croconaw thought. It had to strengthen its attacks. "Use Thief!" Croconaw jumped forward, and swiped at Pikachu. The rodent Pokémon braced itself, only to find that no damage was done. Pikachu stood up, and looked to see Croconaw dancing madly. It was holding Mystic Water.   
"Now why was Pikachu holding that?"   
"One minute!" Croconaw used Hydro Pump. It pushed Pikachu back, but wasn't very effective. Croconaw didn't have much time: it needed to have enough power for a one-hit wonder. It used Rain Dance.  
  
It was the biggest mistake it ever made.  
  
Pikachu summoned up all its energy, and used Thunder. The electricity conducted through the rain, and hit Croconaw. It was super effective, and Croconaw fainted. Brock bashed the gong.   
"Your time is up. Ash fainted 2, Chelsea 1. So, I declare Ash the winner."   
"Yes!" cried Ash, jumping into the air.  
  
"Well done. Here's your Badge."   
The Badge was shaped like a clock. The two hands pointed to twelve o' clock (Lunchtime, said Ash, and Brock wondered if he should use the mallet).   
"It's the Time Badge. It signifies that it's time for you to do the Masters tournament. Registration is right through here." Chelsea tapped the wall, and there was a flash of red. When it had subsided, there was a hole in the wall. The group crawled through.  
  
Inside was something that looked relatively like a Pokémon Centre. Ash came through, and went up to the desk.   
"Hello. Can I register for the Masters Tournament?"   
"Certainly. Can I take your Pokémon?" chimed Nurse Joy.   
"Ohhh..." drooled Brock. Misty tugged his ear. "Don't make me whack you..."   
Brock remembered that he had the mallet. "Yes sir!"   
Misty thought. "He's acting very suspiciously."  
  
"You have all eight Badges?" asked Joy.   
"Yes," said Ash, spreading out the Badges.   
"Hullo, Ash!" came voices from the side.   
"Huh?" said Ash, turning around.

You like? Review. Easy as QPZ.  
  
The next chapter will be up soon, as I have an idea in my head for it.   
The quest for the Badges is over! Now for the Masters tournament.

And so, in the immortal words of Ford Prefect...

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so."

GOODNIGHT!


	22. The Great Race

Part One: Johto (1-8)   
Part Two: Kanto (9-21)   
Part Three: The Masters (22-?)  
  
Here is the long-awaited first ep of Part Three. Ash and co. are in the Registry Office, on the right track to the Masters. But tradition threatens to derail them, in...

**

* * *

The Great Race  
**  
Disclaimer: Idon'townPokémonONWITHTHEFIC!  
  
"Why did I steal this mallet anyway?" said Brock to himself. "I won't use it for anything, so I guess I can just throw it away." At least, he thought he said it to himself, but evidently not, as a small mole got up and walked away.   
"Hurry up, Brock, and come to the counter. I need three witnesses to prove I did not steal these Badges. You, Misty and Ad," said Ash. Joy was looking over his shoulder.   
"Coming!" Brock pulled out a PokéBall. "Geodude, bury the mallet!"   
"Geo!" Geodude set to work at digging up the floor. Brock went over to the counter.   
"He didn't nick them," he explained. Joy thought.   
"I don't trust you. I can't let you in, I'm afraid."   
"What?" cried Ash. "I won these fairy-squarey!"   
"He's right," said a group of voices from the side.   
"Huh?" said Ash.  
A grown man placed his hand on Ash's shoulder. He picked up the IQ Badge.   
"He definitely got this off of me."   
"That from I," said a female voice, prodding the Dark Badge.   
"I recognize those voices," thought Ash. He turned around. "Simon! Mercy!"   
Simon closed his eyes. "Hi, Ash."   
"Did no me say meet at Alternative Masters place?"   
"So all the Gym Leaders are here?" asked Ash.   
"Yup, and it seems that they're willing to prove you're validated. I can let you through, after the tradition's done." Ash's eyes widened. "What tradition?"  
  
Ash. Misty and Brock were lined up behind a white line. In front of them was a long obstacle course.   
"This is so obviously nicked from The Flame Pokémon-athon, eh guys?" said Brock.   
"Remind me why we're here again," said Ash to Ad.   
"Tradition dictates that every Gym Leader and the challenger must take part in a race before the Masters tournament. Only if the challenger wins can they go through."   
"I was afraid of that," said Ash, gulping.   
"Oakey dokey, the second ever Great Race..."   
("Second? Has only one person ever got through before?")   
("Yep. You'll face him at the end. He's the fourth master.")  
"...will now begin. In the first, second and third lanes are the challenger and his supporters: Ash Ketchum and Furret; Misty Waterflower and Starmie; and Brock Stoneson and Golem; one of whom must win for Ash to go through."   
"In the fourth lane is Ad Adhill and Misdreavus, first Alternative Leader."   
"Fifth lane is Mint and Mantine of the Ilex Forest Gym; sixth, Simon and Xatu of Goldenrod Passage; seventh, Mercy and Murkrow; eighth, Archibald and Slugma; ninth, Bernard on Nidoran; tenth, Barbara on Sandslash; eleventh, Robert and Ponyta; twelfth, Chelsea and Bayleef."   
"The race is an obstacle course. Every so often, the person or people in last place will have to drop out. Start as soon as you hear me say so. The commentator will instruct you on what to do. On your marks – set – go!"  
  
The group sped off. Archibald was in last place on Slugma, which was slowly crawling along. Bernard and Barbara were neck and neck in fourth, Mercy was flying along in third, just behind Ad in second, but out in front of everyone else were Robert and Ponyta. Ash was in sixth.   
"Come on Furret, you can beat Bernard and Barbara!"   
"I'm going – as fast – as I can!"   
"Perhaps you can catch them on the first obstacle," considered Ash.   
"Which is," interrupted the commentator, "a pool of water."   
Ponyta ran across the pool, its feet not even touching the water. Ad and Mercy flew across, but Nidoran and Sandslash screeched to a halt.   
"Suckers!" said Ash as Furret leapt over the pool. Following him: Mantine glided over next to Starmie (Misty and Mint clapping hands); Xatu flew over; Bayleef surfed on a leaf; Slugma hardened immediately, and Archibald used him as an raft; and Golem ground to a halt.   
"Brock, Bernard and Barbara are dropping out, with Robert in first; Ad, second; and Mercy, third. Will the order stay the same after the huge pit, though? Huge pit? Since when was that an obstacle?"   
At the bottom of the pit, a black man grinned. At least, he looked like a black man, but this may have been because he was covered in mud. Above him, a flaming horse leapt over the pit. Smirking, the man in the pit clambered out and took a plunger box with him. Two Pokémon flew over, and a small ferret-like Pokémon fell into the pit.   
"Whoooooooooooooaaaaaa!" cried Ash, doing an impression of George W. Bush. He looked around.   
"How are we going to get out?"   
"You're not," said the man. Misty, Chelsea and Archibald fell in as well.   
"Drat!" exclaimed the man. "I wanted to deal with Ash alone. You leave me no choice."   
He pushed down on the plunger. A barrel exploded under Ash's feet, and propelled him upwards. He landed on Simon, pushing him into the pit, then crawled over.   
"Go!" cried Archibald. "We'll deal with this madman!" Starmie shot a bullet of water at the man, and the mud was washed off.   
"Trig!" said Misty.   
"Drat! I'd better run!" said Trig, vaulting out.   
The commentator boomed, "Archibald, Misty, Simon and Chelsea are now out! The lead is the same, and the first three are under the large beam. And Mantine is just...wait! Who's this? Ash and Furret are thundering past Mint and under the beam, and Mantine has bolted. Mint is out!"   
"What happened?" shrieked Mint as the rocket-propelled Ash and Furret sped past.   
"The race is almost over, and Mercy and Ash are neck and neck as they face the wrong-way travelator!" Trig stood under the pavement, where the conveyor belt was being powered by a man turning a handle.   
"Get off!" he said, elbowing the surprised man out of the way. Trig started turning the handle with all his might. The belt started turning even faster.   
"Come – on – Furret!" said Ash, leaning down. The air resistance was building up, and Ash's ba of clean underwear caught fire. Little did he know there was a little explosive left...   
It exploded, and Ash and Furret were fired like a cork through the air. The belt snapped, and an expanse of rubber flew up and smacked into Murkrow.   
"Mercy and Murkrow are out! In other news, Ponyta is refusing to climb the great hill. So it looks like it's up to Ad and Misdreavus to keep Ash and Furret from winning!"   
"That's a big hill, but I know you can climb it. Go, Misdreavus!" shouted Ad, and Misdreavus flew upwards. The finish line was just behind the hill.   
"I can't muck this up!" said Trig. "If Ash wins, I'll have to keep following him around and wandering!" He held a small box in his hand. He had buried an explosive charge at the top of the hill. Ad passed over it. Not long now. Ash was climbing the hill. Ash passed over the charge. Trig pressed the button.   
Ash was blown into the air. He fell limply to the ground. Furret curled sadly up over its unconscious master's body. It heaved the body onto it, and started to roll downhill.   
Ash squinted. He was rolling downhill. He looked up. Ad was behind him. Suddenly, he was yanked off of Furret. He grabbed for the thing that had pulled him. It was a red tape. It had one word emblazed on it over and over again. The word was "FINISH".  
  
Ash took the final Badge: the Pass Badge. He returned the other Badges to the leaders, and tucked the Pass in his pocket.   
"If you go in through there," explained Joy, "there's a teleporter. Put the Pass in the slot, and you'll activate it. You'll get another Pass to use in another teleporter from the first Master. Then, you'll reach the fourth and final one. You'll get a prize, a phenomenal prize. Then you can resume the Johto league."   
Joy opened a door, and the group entered.

* * *

And so, in the immortal words of John Cleese...

"The parrot...is dead!"

GOODNIGHT!


	23. Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

* * *

Okey dokey piggidy pokey! The Masters tournament is switched on, and Ash and co. are about to activate the teleporter. What weird and wonderful Pokémon does the first Master have? Find out, in...  
  
**Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size  
  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. I do own Ad. I don't own disclaimers. I do own my story...obviously. "Tharn" is a Lapine word, meaning, "paralysed with fear, glazed over". It comes from the language of Watership Down, and was the best word I could think of to describe it. I don't own it.

* * *

"Pass Badge?"  
"Check."  
"Slot?"  
"Double check."  
"Teleporter?"   
"Quadruple check."  
"Checklist?"  
"I'm not sure...ah, here it is. Octuple check."   
Ad glared at Misty. "Shut it."   
"Snob," said Misty, stuffing the checklist back into her IPS.   
"Let's go!" said Ash, slotting the Pass Badge into the teleporter. There was a flash of bright light, causing Ash to drop the Pass Badge. It landed half on the teleporter, half off. The gang stood, tharn, and then dashed into the teleporter. Another flash, and the gang disappeared. The Pass Badge warped, the rectangular shape curving and twisting, collapsing in and expanding out at the same time. The Badge oozed in on itself, then there was a small explosion, like a party popper. Then there was nothing.  
  
"I dropped the Pass Badge!" said Ash, scrabbling about on the bare, rocky floor. He stumbled upon the Badge, but there was an ugly crack running through it. This was one half of the Badge.   
"I shouldn't worry too much. I don't imagine we'll need it again," said Brock. There was a cave in front of them.   
"Geographically, where are we?" asked Misty. Ad took out the map. The group spread it over the floor. Ad clambered onto it, and stepped over the ever-widening sea on the map.   
"Here," said Ad, pointing. His wing was on a small island, faintly shaded blue, in the middle of Route 20.   
"Why is it blue?" asked Brock. Ad motioned his wingtip upwards. Everyone looked up. There was a glass dome above them, and above that was water. And more water. Among that was a few fish. And some water.   
"We're underwater?" screamed Ash. Misty, however, looked blissful and flew happily around. Ash, Brock and Ad sweatdropped. Misty continued flying, but bumped into a large rock. She shook her fist at it.   
"Hey, you three, this is a cave!" cried Brock. Ad took out a match, struck it against nowhere, and ignited Misdreavus. The ghost flew into the cave, ablaze. May thought to herself, "I hope they don't expect me to do that," as she followed.  
  
Misdreavus soared through the cave, leaving a trail of fire behind it. Ad kept dodging the jet, but was a bit slow, and got his wing fried. He dropped to the ground. The rest of the gang carried on. They came to a large rock. Ash hesitated, and prepared to knock. Before he could do so, however, there was a rumble, and the rock rolled aside. There was a small, scruffy boy standing in front of them. Behind him, lots of Pokémon were rushing around.   
"Hello! I'm Maxwell! Maxwell Townhill! Who are you?" shouted Maxwell over the din.   
"I'm Ash, this is Misty, Brock, and Ad's outside - SHUT UP!"   
Maxwell turned. "YOU LOT CAN BE QUIET! WE HAVE A VISITOR!" The Pokémon stopped, and looked guiltily at their toes. They started rushing around again. Brock sweatdropped and said, "Somehow, this seems awfully familiar..."  
  
"A battle? Oh yes, I remember signing up to that league. I was disturbed a few years back, I believe. Looked sort of like your Ad, if you've described the latter correctly."   
"How odd," said Ash, "but I never came here to chat. I came here to fight!"   
"You have my word, we shall fight," said Maxwell. "However, can I have a little time to round up my Pokémon first?" Maxwell dashed around the room, chasing the other Pokémon. Ash looked at his invisible watch, and sighed.  
  
"This will be a three-on-three battle between Maxwell Townhill..."   
("Not another resident of Many Hills City!" said Ash, teeth grinding)   
"...the first Alternative Master, and Ash Catchup of Pallet Town. No time limit. Begin!"   
"I choose you, Bulbasaur!"   
"Then I'll have Magby!"   
Magby leapt out, and landed in front of Bulbasaur. The green Pokémon growled. Magby's attack dropped, but it was a pitiful amount.   
"You gonna play with me," burbled the baby Pokémon, "you gonna play with me properly. Ember!" A barrage of flaming rocks flew towards Bulbasaur, and it grimaced. The seeds inside the bulb ignited, and Bulbasaur felt hot. It opened its bulb, and a beam of light from the flames spurted out. Inspired by this, Bulbasaur used a Solarbeam, and fired it at Magby. Magby was slammed backwards into the wall, and fainted. Maxwell returned it, and let out an Igglybuff.  
  
"Huhwiebuhwa!" gurgled Igglybuff as it wobbled towards Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur kicked it sneeringly, and it flew backwards into the wall. And bounced. The surprised Bulbasaur was thwacked in the head by Igglybuff as it came off the wall. A disappointed Ash returned it, and called out Squirtle. The turtle Pokémon shot a jet at Igglybuff, still bouncing, and missed. Squirtle continued firing, and missing, until Igglybuff stopped.   
"Now's your chance, Squirtle!" cried Ash. Squirtle prepared to fire a stream of water, and a few sputters came out.   
"He's run out of water," sweatdropped Misty. Squirtle curled up into its shell as Igglybuff used Pound. The attack bounced off of Squirtle's shell, and Igglybuff's arm got bruised.   
"Huhwawawa!" sniffled Igglybuff, and stepped backwards. Squirtle came out, and used Tackle. It caught Igglybuff off-guard, and the creampuff Pokémon rolled over backwards and fainted.   
"I choose you!" said Maxwell, and threw a ball. An electric spark flew out, and zapped Squirtle, which fainted. Ash stared on in disbelief.   
"Pichu!"  
  
Ash whipped out his Pokédex from his IPS, and pointed it at the yellow rodent.   
"_Pichu. Pichu is the baby form of Pikachu. It has a lot to learn about electricity, and shocks itself when it tries to use it_," offered Dexter with an audio cheesy grin. Ash looked at Pichu. Dexter was telling the truth, as Pichu was lying with spirals in its eyes.   
"Pikachu, go!" cried Ash. Pikachu was hiding behind Ash's leg, and pulled out a roll of parchment from its IPS. The scroll said: "Sub-Clause 4.1. No Pokémon shall be sent to battle with its younger form unless it expresses a clear desire to do so."   
"Aw...Charmander, you'll have to do it," said Ash, hopelessly tossing a Ball into the fray. Pichu tried to ram Charmander, and missed. Pichu span around, and attacked again.   
"How come it isn't getting hurt?" cried Ash as Pichu caught a glancing blow on Charmander.   
"You idiot! Pichu only hurts itself when it uses electric attacks!" cried Misty from the wings.   
"Oh yeah," said Ash. "Charmander, make Pichu try to electrocute you!" Charmander jumped backwards, and Pichu crashed into the floor. It stumbled to its feet, cheeks sparking. It fired a quick jolt at Charmander, who was caught. It fired another, but this time Charmander flipped aside in time. Pichu fired more and more bolts, enduring the pain, until it got really mad and let loose a Thunder. The attack ripped through the air, and boomed towards Charmander. It leapt away, but its tail got fried, and it collapsed. Pichu was almost fainted at the other end. Charmander staggered to its feet, eyes burning. It rushed at Pichu, and slammed into it.   
"_Rage_," blurted Dexter unnecessarily. Ash folded up the Pokédex, and dunked it in his pocket. Pichu flew backwards, and slid down the wall, spiral-eyed.   
"Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town is the winner!" said Brock. Maxwell stepped forward.   
"Well done. Just put the Pass Badge in there, and it'll be transformed into the next." Ash giggled.  
"What is it?"   
"Oh, nothing," said Ash, "I just thought you said Pass Badge."   
"I did." Ash's grin contorted itself as his eyes widened. His eyebrows lowered, and his top lip started to quaver. He fainted.   
"What? Is I something I said?" asked Maxwell sheepishly.  
  
"So you lost the Pass Badge? You'd better have a look around my cave for it."  
"I'll look outside," said Ash, "Misty can look around this hall, and Brock can look in the corridors."   
"Right," said Misty, and Brock and Ash set off out of the hall. Brock went down a spiralling path, and Ash headed down the path they had taken in. About halfway down, he stumbled across Ad.  
  
"Nothing in here," said Misty as Brock slouched in, shaking his head. They all sighed.   
"I hope Ash has found it," said Maxwell, as Igglybuff, insisting it would help, conducted an aerial search bouncing off of the walls. At that moment, Ash burst in, and was almost blaffed in the face by Igglybuff.   
"The good news," he said, panting, "is that I've found Ad and the Pass Badge. The bad news is, I found something else."   
There was an orange flicker from the passage behind Ash.   
"A FIRE!"  
  
"How ironic," said Misty, as chaos ensued around her. "There's a fire underwater."   
"Stop with the witticisms and help us outta here!" screamed Ash as he shook Ad.   
"Stop-shaking-me! All-I-did-was-faint-when-my-wing-was-on-fire!" stammered Ad.  
"You idiot! Don't you know you should never fall asleep while smoking?"   
"Shut up over there! There's an escape hatch here," said Maxwell, holding the hatch open. The group crawled through, until they were outside again.   
"Right! This is where Igglybuff becomes useful!" Maxwell took put an ice pick, and bashed a hole in the glass dome. The water flooded in. Maxwell quickly erected a wall around the break, and soon the water stopped flowing into the reservoir. Maxwell perched Igglybuff on top of the dam.   
"Igglybuff! Suck it all up!" Igglybuff sucked all the water into its mouth, and swallowed. Suddenly, Meta-Knight appeared out of nowhere. "Igglybuff has transformed into Water Igglybuff!"   
Ash sweatdropped. "Back on non-Kirbish territory, I choose Squirtle..."  
  
'Water Igglybuff' and Squirtle used Water Gun to douse the fire. Maxwell stepped into the drenched cave.   
"I think this place is going to need redecorating. At least now I have a reservoir/swimming pool (delete as appropriate)."   
Ash sweatdropped, and took out a mobile phone. "Doctor? I'm very worried about my friend."   
"Anyway, put the two parts of the Pass Badge in the box, and voila!" Maxwell pulled out a flower-shaped object. "He he. Ol' Elderflower's always good for a laugh."   
"Who's Elderflower?" asked Ash, puzzled.   
"Dunno. Maybe we'll find out in the next chapter, if it's ever written."   
"OK. Forward and out!"

* * *

Well then, I hope you enjoyed that. But just who is Elderflower? What is Elderflower? Find out in the next episode of Guardians of Pokémon! [smacks self] Ow...sorry. I hope you enjoyed the first Master battle. I have three masters, but any self-respecting Pokéfan knows that there are four - actually I may do five. But first, give me an idea. Who will the third Alternative Master be? Tell me, in a thing that begins with 'r' and ends in 'eview'. And so, in the immortal words of Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent...  
  
"It's times like these I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."   
"Why, what did she say?"   
"I don't know, I didn't listen!"  
  
GOODNIGHT!


	24. Elderflower's Deathmatch

In answer to Mr. Panda: I don't really understand the question. He used Charmander because Pikachu refused to fight with Pichu, it being Pikachu's younger self.  
  
Well then? Who is Elderflower? You won't find out, until you read this. And it'll be a month until you do...  
  
**Elderflower's Deathmatch**  
  
Disclaimer: IdonotownPokémon.

* * *

"You want me to heal your Pokémon?"   
"Yes please." The man shifted uneasily on his feet. "Do you think you could hurry up?"  
"Excuse me, but we are going as quickly as possible," snapped Nurse Joy at the man. "You were being most impolite."   
"Sorry," said the man, rolling his eyes. He stepped backwards as Joy turned around, and muttered under his breath, "I just wanted you to hurry up." As he hopped from foot to foot, one of his legs went through the floor.   
"Ow...what's this?" There was a piece of wood underneath the tiles. "Let's see this..."  
  
"Push the flower into the slot."   
"I can't! The lasers keep burning my fingers!"   
"Let me do it." Ad snatched the flowery Pass Badge from Ash, and stuffed it into the slot. It snapped.   
"Now look what you've done!" said Ash, as he peered inside the slot.   
"It still works," said Ad indignantly, and stepped into the teleporter. The rest of the crew followed.  
  
"Ash...acsh...ASCHOO! Oh dear – the only downside of having five rooms is that they get terribly dust-ust-ust-ACHOO! Oh goodness...WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?"   
And so saying, Ad, Ash, Misty, May and Brock came tumbling from the ceiling.   
"Ow..."   
"Sorry. I was installing a solar panel along with the teleporter. I must have got them mixed up." The old man in an apron extended the hand that was not holding the feather duster. "Elderflower."   
"Hello. I'm Ash Ketchum, this is Misty, this is Brock, here's May, and this chap I think you've met before is Ad."   
Elderflower hesitated. "If Ad's here, then I guess you must want to fight me. Hang on, I've just been doing the dusting." The man took off his apron to reveal a brown dressing gown and slippers.   
"The first room's clean. I'll clean the others while you clear them."   
"What the huge frilly knickers are you blathering on about?" asked Ash.   
"Sorry. I never explained it properly." Elderflower waved his arm at the door. "You can take one Pokémon with you. There's a Pokémon in each room. You have to knock at least four out. No items. I'll be cleaning the second room. Bye!" Elderflower disappeared.  
  
"What will you use?" asked Brock.   
"Bit obvious isn't it? Pikachu," remarked Ash.   
"OK. What do I do with the rest?"   
"Put them in that safe, I suppose," said Misty, gesturing to a safe, which had conveniently appeared.   
"I guess so. I hope no-one breaks in cough Team Rocket cough Trig cough cough."   
Misty sweatdropped, and said: "Why bother coughing?" while Brock took out an emergency flask of cough medicine. Ash dropped the PokéBalls in the safe, and the group entered the room.  
  
"Where's the Pokémon?"   
"You're right, Ash. All I can see are two blue pillars holding up the ceiling."   
Misty sweatdropped. "You idiots! Look up!"   
Ash shifted his gaze upwards.   
"Ah! A giant Jumpluff!"   
Ad put his wingtip on his mouth. "Why is it so big?"   
At that moment, Todd came in, looking rather embarrassed. "Sorry. Super Shrink!" Todd ran off, and the Jumpluff reverted to normal size.   
"Pikachu, go!" The 'yella fella' jumped forwards, and rammed into Jumpluff. Some spores were dislodged, and fluttered down onto Pikachu. It froze.   
"Those must have been Stun Spores!" cried Misty. "Do something, Ash!"   
"I can't," said Ash helplessly as Jumpluff floundered towards Pikachu. The blue Pokémon sat on Pikachu, and in an instant, Pikachu leapt up. Jumpluff smashed into the ground, and spores flew everywhere.   
"Oh no!" said Misty as a group of spores hit her. "Wait, I'm not paralysed."   
"They aren't Stun Spores! Pikachu was just pretending. C'mon." Ash opened the door.  
  
Elderflower looked up and said something, souding like "H--y g-uce--ly!", most of which was drowned out by the noise of the vacuum cleaner. He switched it off.   
"Sorry. Here already? I haven't finished cleaning yet." Elderflower peered into the room they had just left. Spores were flying about and settling on all the furniture and carpets. In the middle was a spinny-eyed Jumpluff.   
"Oh, and I'd just dusted that as well. Never mind. I'll skip this; I doubt it'll matter how clean it is before you fight, it's clearing the mess afterwards that counts. I'll be cleaning the last room. That's far too messy to battle in." Elderflower swung the door open, then, as an afterthought, tossed a PokéBall in. A Snorlax appeared.  
  
"_Snorlax. This Pokémon only does two things: eat and sleep. Many trainers catch one, but hardly any keep them, because they cost millions to feed."_   
"Who asked you?" retorted Misty, shoving the Adderdex into Ad's wing pocket.   
"Pikachu, use Thunder!" The bolt of lightning came down, and slammed Snorlax in the belly. It itched a bit. Snorlax scratched itself as Ash sweatdropped.   
"It's so fat it's almost impossible to hurt. Try ramming it, Pikachu!" Pikachu slammed into Snorlax's stomach, and bounced rather unceremoniously off.   
"Hmm...maybe I can use that to my advantage. Pikachu, ram it really hard!" Sighing, Pikachu crashed into Snorlax again. But this time, it zinged back into the wall, and binged off into Snorlax's head. Snorlax tumbled over backwards, and fell, cracking the plastering, which sprinkled down.

In the final room, Elderflower stared at the CCTV.   
"The mess, the meeessssss!"  
  
"Next room. This isn't too hard..." Ash shoved open the door, which promptly slammed shut in Ad's face. Rather annoyed, Ad opened the door to find a Golem. Pikachu was jolting it, and doing nothing.   
"I'll have to call out Squirtle," said Ash, and groped for an invisible PokéBall. A thought bubble appeared saying 'FLASHBACK'. It played Ash dropping the PokéBalls in the safe.  
"Damn..." said Ash as Misty popped the bubble with a long pin.  
  
"Pikachu! Use Tackle!" Pikachu leapt into Golem, who was knocked backwards, but wobbled back to its feet.   
"Unghh...Use Take Down!" Pikachu crashed into Golem, who flew backwards. Simultaneously, Pikachu flew back into the wall. Golem rolled downwards, and cascaded towards Pikachu. Pikachu looked up, frozen with fear, as Golem crushed it. Ash gasped, and Golem steamrollered over Pikachu. Suddenly, Golem was catapulted into the air. The crew watched as Pikachu popped out of its hole in the floor. Golem crashed into the floor in front.   
"Alright! You did it!"   
Ash carried Pikachu into the next room.  
  
"Pikachu is weak...it can't go on much longer."   
"Thank God this is the last room." Misty looked worried. The room was covered in cobwebs. Misty shivered, and Elderflower came forward.   
"Here already? I really must get one of those Super-Cleansers I see advertised every now and then. I'll be conducting this battle with you. Here's your opponent – **s**. Go!"  
  
The two Pokémon burst out of their ball, and were met with an immediate "Awwwwww..." from Misty and May.   
"Plusle plus plu?"   
The blue rodent Pokémon shrugged. "Mini min minum."   
"Plusle, Minum, use Double Team!"   
Plusle and Minum grabbed each other by the wrist and span around. Pikachu aimed a blast, and fired. The bolt hit the ground with a crack, and Pikachu squinted from the glare. Plusle and Minum were behind him. No – to the left. No – to the right. Pikachu went all spinny-eyed and Plusle and Minum stopped. They rushed towards him.   
"They're using Take Down!" cried Brock.   
The Pokémon collided, and were thrown outwards by the force. Pikachu slid down a corner. It looked dizzily around. Two figures of Plusle; two of Minum. Pikachu drunkly staggered over, and used Thunder Punch on the figure of Minum. It missed, and hit the hazier figure of the Plusles. Pikachu opened its eyes as Plusle lay on the floor. Minum was pointing at the body. Plusle got up, and attempted to use Charm, but failed because Pikachu saw that internally, it was confused, and confusion isn't charming. Pikachu closed its eyes and used Thunder Wave. Plusle's body stiffened and I fell over. Pikachu used Thundershock, but before it could release it, Minum leapt in using Slam. Pikachu felt its strength ebbing away, and it gathered all its power together for one last jolt.   
"CHUUUUU!"  
A Thunder filled the room with a whip crack. Plusle stared at the oncoming beam, and was thrown towards some cobwebs. It got tangled, and fainted. But Minum was strong, and crawled painfully through the storm to the crippled Pikachu. Through the yellow blaze, Pikachu saw a hint of blue, and suddenly Minum's raging face thrust through the Thunder. Pikachu stopped in fear, and Minum used a vengeful Mega Punch. Pikachu collapsed into a cobweb, and lurched forwards. Minum quickly stepped back, and Pikachu collapsed in front. It had fainted.  
  
Chuha-shecka-frecka-whirra...the machines in the PokeCentre worked away.  
Chansey poked an apple towards Pikachu.   
Slowly, it opened its eyes. A light flashed somewhere, and there was a scream. The door flew open, and Ash, Misty, Brock, Ad, May and Elderflower burst in.   
"Pikachu! You're alright!" exclaimed Ash, but Pikachu could detect a note of sadness in his voice. Ash noticed that Pikachu's ears were drooping.   
"Don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault."   
"Wasn't your fault what?" Elderflower leant into Ash's conversation.   
"I think he's sad because he lost the battle," said May quietly.   
"But he won! He defeated four Pokémon!"   
Pikachu's ears perked up, and his eyes opened. He sat up.   
"You never listen, do you?" shrieked Misty, slapping Ash with a handy fan so hard he almost fell onto Pikachu.   
"Jumpluff Snorlax Golem Plusle," listed Ad,counting them off on his wing. "That sounds pretty much like four to me."   
"I decided to prepare your Badge in advance," said Elderflower, holding out a purple question mark-shaped object. "But if you don't want it..."   
"You rat! Of course I want it! Give it here!" Ash swiped his hand at Elderflower, who retracted his.   
"Which hand is it in?" he smirked.   
"You..."   
"Quit your bickering!" cried Misty. Ash and Elderflower turned to her, and shouted in unison, "NO!"

* * *

Why was it a question mark? Because I don't know who the next Leader'll be. So tell me. [points downwards] Click the button...just do it...or else...  
  
Ahem. So, in the immortal words of Alan Partridge...  
  
"And on that bombshell, we say..."  
  
GOODNIGHT!


	25. Beauty and the Beast

Hey hey! I have decided to listen to Mr. Panda. So, I will be using my own Leader, and ignoring you.   
So, without further ado (because if there was you'd have time to lynch me) here is the next chapter.  
  
**Beauty and the Beast**  
  
Disclaimer: IDON'TOWNPOKÈMON!

* * *

"The problem with pushing the question mark into the slot is that the dot keeps getting snagged."  
As a disgruntled Ad pushed the Badge into the slot, the dot fell off and bounced around the room. It ricocheted into the teleporter, and the rest of the crew followed it.  
  
"Come back!"   
Ash took a butterfly net from his IPS and swiped at the dot. Eventually, he caught it, and hurriedly stuffed it into his pocket before it got away again. He then followed the rest of the group further into the area.   
"This is weird," said May. The area was split into two. One half was drenched in a shocking pink, and the other was a sickly greeny-black. The gang walked along the split.   
"I wonder what's causing it?" pondered Ad. His query was responded to by some footsteps. 

"Hello. Why is half of you floating in midair?" asked a tall woman on the pink side. She gestured at Ash, who was standing exactly on the split.   
"Hey. Why is half of you floating in midair?" asked a tall boy on the green side. He gestured at Ash, who was standing exactly on the split.   
"Hmm?" Ash moved completely onto the pink side. The tall boy's eyes widened, and he pointed at where Ash had just been. "Where'd 'e go?"   
Misty looked through the split to the boy.   
"I think these might be two parallel dimensions. And the boy..."   
"The boy..." continued Ad, rotating his hand towards the boy, who replied, "Bob."   
"...can't see through the split to here," finished Misty.   
"What boy?" asked the tall girl.   
"And vice versa," prompted Ash.   
"And vice versa," continued May.   
The tall girl scratched her head. "I guess you," she quietly added under her breath, "_crazy_ people must be looking to battle me,Victoria."   
The tall boy scratched his head. "I guess you," he quietly added under his breath, "_crazy_ people must be looking to battle me, Bob."   
"Er...yes," burbled Ash hastily.  
  
"Three-on-three," announced the two leaders in unison.   
"How will I fight two battles at once? I'll have to use two Pokémon at once. But I'll have to be on both ides of the split at once. Hmm..."   
On his lead, the group started searching for something that would allow Ash to be in two places at once: with Misty and May on the pink, Brock and Ad on the green, and Ash treading up and down the split (despite the funny looks from the Leaders). It was he who spotted a strange object.   
"Hey, guys, c'mon and have a look at this."   
It was a map. It appeared to be of the cave. But it had only the pink side right: the rest was...different. It was also pink instead of that sickly puce.   
"There's another here," said Ad, producing another map. It was the reverse of the other one: totally green.   
"There's a dot on this," said Ash, pointing to the pink map. He went across to have a look at the green map, and as he moved into the other half, the dot on the pink map moved.   
"There's a dot on this too," called Ash.   
"But the dot's come off this one," said Misty, confused.   
"Eh?" Ash moved back, and the dot arrived back on the pink map.   
"Wait a sec." Ad pulled a handy Jigglypuff from his IPS. The annoyed puffball pulled out a pen, and pressed it hard on the green map. A copy of Ash appeared.   
"What the..." said the two Ashes at the same time.   
"It's like the Marauder's Map," commented May.  
"Well, now, we can get this battle started!" cheered Ash.  
  
"GO!" cried Brock. Ash 1 and Ash 2 looked at each other.   
"Go, Bulbasaur!" shouted Ash 1, whilst Ash 2 chose Charmander.   
"Beauty Power! Kirlia, go!" Victoria threw a ball, then span around and did a V-sign.  
("I have to take an ad out in the paper saying that's MY sign!" fumed Ash.)   
"For my first Pokémon, I will have...Muk!" Bob threw a PokéBall. The ugly Muk burst out.  
  
"Kirlia, use Rapid Spin!"   
"Kir!" The beautiful Pokémon starting spinning, then closed slowly in on Bulbasaur.   
Undaunted, Ash 1 shouted, "Bulbasaur! Use Vine Whip!" Bulbasaur swiped Kirlia with the grass, and Kirlia lost its balance and tumbled onto the floor. Bulbasaur jumped over it, and then prepared a Pound. As Bulbasaur was above Kirlia, it sprang up, and span. Bulbasaur was whirled around so fast it took off – and span under Kirlia. But Kirlia jumped onto the spinning plant Pokémon, and started spinning the other way. The two forces cancelled each other out, and a dizzy-eyed Bulbasaur lay on the ground. Kirlia towered over it, but using the last of its energy, Bulbasaur popped a Leech Seed out. It hit Kirlia, and embraced it tightly. Bulbasaur felt the energy restoring, and it now towered over the helpless Kirlia. Finally, Bulbasaur used Razor Leaf. It weakened the Seed's vines, but also Kirlia. Kirlia burst confidently out of the vines, but it took too much. Kirlia unceremoniously fainted.  
  
"Charmander! Boil Muk's slime!"   
Charmander threw a few Embers on the floor, and Muk hopped painfully across them. Charmander let rip a Flamethrower, but Muk countered with a Sludge Bomb, which boiled before soldering itself to Charmander's face. Charmander stumbled, a proverbial headless chicken, around, scrabbling to get the Sludge off. Muk used Acid on Charmander's flame, and the Pokémon whipped its tail up in pain, melting the Sludge on its face. Then, it swung its tail, and globules of Acid splashed onto Muk. The angry Muk reared up and came down on Charmander like a tidal wave.   
"Alright! Use Smokescreen, Muk!"   
"Not so fast! Charmander, make your own Smokescreen!"   
The two Smokescreens mingled, and a cloud of stinging smoke descended on the battlefield. This interrupted the choosing of Victoria's next Pokémon. And also...  
  
"To protect the story from short chapters!"   
"To...go and have a real good natter?"   
Jessie whacked James with a fan. "If you must rhyme, do it properly!"   
She turned to the group. "Anyway, we're here to ruin this battle of yours: by making more splits!"   
"You split the arena?" cried Ash.   
Victoria and Bob looked confusedly about. "What split?"   
"Of course! And using the maps," Meowth withdrew the two maps, "we can chop this cave into at least seventy-five different dimensions!"   
"That's right! Your hand could be in Digiworld, and your rucksack through the fourth wall!" Jessie slapped James again. "Fourth wall? Digiworld? What are you talking about, woma – James?"   
"Never mind," said James, tapping his fingers together.   
"Anyway, we get a pen like so..." Jessie nicked Ad's pen, "...and draw another map. I'll colour it brown. And feed it inside the Hot-Air-Balloon-Meowth- Eye-Scanner-And-Dimension-Splitter-Thingy™..."   
"JUST CALL IT THE HABMESADS™, OK?"   
"...feed it inside the habmesads™ and voila!" Jessie pointed, and the pink dimension split in half, one half turning brown. All the gang went inside the brown area.   
"What's going on? Where's everybody?" asked Victoria. Misty popped back into the pink area again.   
"Haven't you noticed your dimension's shrunk?"   
"It hasn't," said Victoria.   
Ashes 1 and 2 pulled Misty back in.   
"Imagine if someone put a cardboard box in your living room," said Brock.   
"I don't have to imagine. My sisters did that last year, hid behind it, and called me on the videophone," scowled Misty. "I thought they were playing Phone-Down-Ginger."   
"Well, the floor beneath it would still be there, wouldn't it? Now if the box was invisible to you, the floor underneath would be obvious, yes?"   
Something in Misty's brain clicked. "Just like Victoria and Bob! Each dimension is like a cardboard box."   
"Can we get back to the battle?" shouted Team Rocket.   
"Weezing, go!"   
"Charmander, go! Use Ember!" Some coals flew through the holes in Weezing, and landed inside. Weezing groaned.   
"Wimp." Jessie brought out her Arbok. "Use Poison Sting!" Charmander burned down the needles, and they clattered on the floor. One fell through a random dimensional split. And it came out of Meowth's eye on the hot air balloon. It fell onto Arbok, who jerked upwards. It crashed into Weezing, which blew out loads of gas. The gas ignited on the flame, and Weezing's gas soon started blazing. Some found its way up to the hot air balloon, and the reservoir of gas exploded.   
"AGAIN OFF BLASTING ROCKET'S TEAM LIKE LOOKS!"  
  
"The maps!" Ash grabbed them.   
"Oh no, they've smeared Ash 2 off."   
"We'd better get this mess sorted out." Misty screwed up the dimensional maps just created by the habmesads™ and threw them towards May, who hadn't noticed she was flaming like Misdreavus usually was.   
"Let's see that," said Victoria, taking the map. She looked towards the split that she couldn't see, and stuck the map towards it. At the same time, Bob stuck his half through the split.   
There was a blinding flash of light, and the split started to crumble. The top of the split soon disappeared, and soon it was enough for Victoria to see Bob.   
"Wow! This is what you were talking about! And this must be - that boy." She extended her hand.   
"I'm Bob," murmured Bob.   
"Victoria," smiled Victoria. Bob clasped her hand, and she giggled. Then she turned to the crew. "We'd better deal with them."   
"OK. Go, Voltorb!"   
"How charming!" Victoria threw a PokéBall. "Beauty Power Butterfree, go!"   
The two Pokémon advanced on the crew.   
"Okay, keep your hair on."   
("Not that Voltorb has any hair..." pointed out Brock.)  
Ash fumbled out two PokéBalls. "Furret, Pikachu, go..."  
  
"Furret, ram Voltorb!"   
The electric Pokémon was rolled backwards into the wall. Butterfree created a gust, which blew Voltorb back into Furret. Furret lay down, and Voltorb rolled up the ramp created. Pikachu headed Voltorb up, and then kicked it to Furret.   
"I don't believe it," muttered Misty, her head in her hands. "They're playing football."   
Butterfree used Twister, and Pikachu got caught in it. As Voltorb and Pikachu were lifted into the air, Furret reached up and grabbed Pikachu, leaving Voltorb to fall, almost fainted. Finally, Pikachu gave a huge boot and whacked Voltorb into Butterfree. They both slid down the wall. Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt at the two, but Voltorb soaked up the energy. Then Furret sped into Voltorb, and the Pokémon exploded, and when the dust cleared, Ash had won.  
  
"We've lost," said Bob.   
"Who cares? At least we've found each other for once since that other guy came here." They turned to Ash. "And now I guess you can have the Badge."   
"Have you got the box, Victoria?"   
"It's here, Bob."   
Victoria dropped the question mark in, and a perfect likeness of Ad was churned out. "Strange...it's missing something," said Bob.   
"Sorry." Ash took the dot out, and a little red hat was added.   
"That's better."   
"Bye then!" And so, we leave our heroes as they go off into the sunset, ready for the final Leader challenge.

* * *

"You do know you're on fire, don't you, May?" asked Ash uneasily.   
"Fire?" cried May.

* * *

Don't worry, Mr. Panda, you will get your Ad(-ish) goodness in time...  
  
And so, in the immortal words of me...  
  
"And so, in the immortal words of me..."  
  
GOODNIGHT!


	26. Well, Der

Time for the final leader now…[sniffs] But don't worry, fair R&Rers, this is not the end. So, as I promised, here is that Ad-shaped goodness, in…  
  
**Well, Der  
**  
Disclaimer: IdonotownPokémon.

* * *

"What an odd shaped Pass Badge." Brock pushed the Ad likeness into he slot, while Ash asked Ad if he knew whom it was.  
"No, but I may have a rough idea."  
  
"This place looks kind of familiar," commented Misty.  
"Of course it's familiar! Look, that's my gym!"  
"Let's crash there and see what happens then." Ash flung open the door, and descended.  
"Strange, the rock seems to have acquired a door. A rather nice azure, too."  
"Let's go through, then," said May enthusiastically.  
Ad twisted the handle, and entered. Inside, a familiar voice said.  
"Hello. You're here."  
"But…he's right here…how can…"  
"Der!"  
  
"Der?" said a bemused group as Ad went up and hugged the small, blue, flying adder-like thing floating in front of them.  
"This is my cousin, Der. We look alike." Ad smiled.  
"And he's a brilliant technician. Do you know who built the Adderdex? Him."  
("Remind me to lynch him later," whispered Ash to Brock)  
"And can you guess who Adexter was based on?"  
"No, and I don't particularly wish to know either," said Ash coyly.  
Ad beamed. "Yours truly!"  
"Brill," said Ash, "now help me find the last Alternative Master."  
"You idiot! It's him!"  
"Sorry, what?" Ash put his hand to his ear.  
"It's him!" said Ad frantically, waving his wings about like a mad adder.  
"He is the fourth Master?"  
"Yup."  
"Let's battle!"

Der hovered in front of Ash.  
"Two-on-two; no time limit; no shouting 'look over there' as loudly as possible;" he counted the possibilities on his wing, "I think that's it. Go, Latias!"  
"LATIAS?"  
The red legendary Pokémon swooped out of the PokéBall and gracefully touched down.  
"Whoa. What's going to scratch that? Umm…it looks like a Fire Pokémon, so Squirtle, go!"  
"Latias, use Dragon Rage!" The twister span out of Latias's mouth, and collided with Squirtle. Squirtle was thrown backwards against the wall.  
"Squirtle, try a Tackle!" Squirtle curled up in its shell, and fired itself at Latias. It giggled, and used Water Pulse.  
"Water Pulse? But it's a Fire Type!" cried Ash.  
"I'm confused," said Misty, scratching her head.  
"And you're not the only one. Look at Squirtle!" The turtle was lolloping about, and used Surf. It recoiled and swamped Squirtle.  
"Aw…Latias's Water-type, so go, Bulbasaur!"  
"Latias, Psybeam!"  
"What in the name of Alakazam is going on with that Pokémon?" shouted Ash as the Psybeam crashed into Bulbasaur. He got out his Pokédex, and pointed it at the Pokémon.  
"_Latias. A Dragon/Psychic legendary Pokémon that novice trainers often mistake for a Fire type_."  
"Grrr…" Ash went berserk, and started shouting at the Pokédex.  
"I'M NOT A NOVICE!"  
"_Sor-ry_," said Dexter, and it turned itself off.  
"OK. I need an Ice, Dragon, Ghost or Dark Pokémon. Oh no! I don't have any!" Bulbasaur sweatdropped as it was battered by Latias repeatedly.  
"Sorry, I forgot. Use Razor Leaf!"  
"Sunny Day!"  
"Hell-"  
The leaves burnt to crisps, and fell on Bulbasaur.  
"Now, finish it off with an Earthquake!"  
"Why, why, why?"  
"…Delilah." Everyone stared at Brock as he looked at his feet.  
"Sorry."  
The Earthquake rocked through the stadium, rolling Bulbasaur onto the burning leaves. It caught fire.  
"Bulbasaur, return!" The flaming Pokémon flew back into the ball. Ash hung his head.  
"So. I lost." Ash started wailing. "I HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN!"  
"Hey, this isn't the Alternative League for nothing. You don't."  
"Huh?"  
"Just come back in an hour or so." A mechanized boot appeared, and everyone was kicked out. Grumbling, Der went back in again, and shut the door.  
  
"You saw that monster! It was so mean! I wish I had the Pokémon to beat it."  
"Come on, Ash, don't get so het up. I'm sure Dexter's sorry for calling you a novice."  
"Really?" Ash's eyes sparkled. "Yeah!"  
Brock rolled his eyes. "Back on topic, how will we-"  
"You," corrected Misty, gesturing at Ash.  
"-beat Latias?"  
"Hmm. I need an Ice…"  
"You told us." "Oh. Well, I'd better catch one then."  
Ad screamed at him. "You stupid kid! Haven't you got a Pokémon that knows Dragon moves?"  
"Um…Gyarados? It knows Dragon Rage." Ad clapped.  
"Score!"  
"But he's not on me."  
"Go on to Mahogany Town's Pokémon Centre then, numbskull!"  
  
"Gyrados, come out!"  
The dragon beast roared as it burst from its ball.  
"Impressive," said Der, rolling the last syllable around in his mouth whilst deciding whether it _was _impressive or not, then finally, liking the feel of it, allowing it to escape from the confines of his mouth.  
"Latias, go!"  
Ash thought. "This had better work." Out loud, he shouted, "Use Dragon Rage!" The tornado slammed into Latias. It became angry.  
"Latias, Flamethrower!"  
"For God's sake," said Ash, who was getting rather annoyed by the versatileness of Latias. "Counter it with a Hydro Pump!"  
The water sizzled through the fire, and thrashed into Latias's throat in a puff of steam. The searing hot steam was forced down into Latias's stomach, and it froze with the unbearable pain.  
"Quick, Gyrados, Iron Tail!"  
("You know, Gyrados is awfully well trained," commented May to Misty.  
"He should use it more often," agreed Ad.  
Misty sweatdropped. "Oh please. It's just that the author felt nice. In reality, Gyardos must be level 21, and only know Splash.")  
The monster's tail glistened, and it thwacked Latias into the ceiling. With a cry, it fell to the ground.  
Der stepped back. "You're good. But not good enough. PokéBall, go!"

A flash of blue. An angry eye. A tuft of hair. An azure wing. All these things melded together in a blur and became…  
"_Latios. A Dragon/Psychic Pokémon often mistaken for Water, this legendary is unbelievably bad-tempered and moody. Avoid at all costs._"

"No wonder he beat the League before," thought Ash as he pondered on what to do. Latios snarled.  
"Use Dragonbreath!"  
A grey cloud emerged from Latios's mouth. Ash coughed. It didn't smell. But he could see Gyrados writhing in agony as the gas sapped away its power. It stood stock-still.  
"No! It's paralysed!" Ash dug into his pockets for a Paralyse Heal. Nothing.  
  
"Pi?"  
Pikachu looked up to see the giant dragon prone on the floor. Its ears drooped as it wished it could help. Its eyes narrowed. Its tail wilted.  
Its tummy rumbled.  
It closed its eyes.  
"Pi…" Pikachu pulled out a Lava Cookie and started munching it.  
"Pi!" It wasn't so hungry now.  
"Lava Cookies are nice," murmured Pikachu to itself, mouth full of crumbs. It looked at Gyrados.  
"I wonder if he wants a cookie?" Pikachu waddled up to Gyrados's mouth.  
"Do you want a cookie?" it said, holding the cookie out helpfully.  
"Garrrrrr…" Gyrados started sucking, and the cookie came into its mouth. Pikachu folded its arms crossly.  
"Manners."  
  
Gyrados reared up as Latios swooped down. It opened its titanic mouth and breathed out a Dragon Rage. Latios flew straight into it, and was spun around. Gyrados let loose a Hyper Beam  
("LEVEL 55?" screamed Misty)  
and Latios was thrown through the wall. Der blinked, and went up to Ash.  
"Wow. You did it." "Thanks to Pikachu here," said Ash, ruffling Pikachu's hair.  
"Surprisingly enough, I can't find anything here to suggest that was illegal," said Brock, holding up he guidebook.  
"Brilliant! As I said, you have won, so you get your prize." Der smiled blissfully. "Which is…"

* * *

GOODNIGHT!


	27. The Final Fight

"What a cliff-hanger!" The Pen Pal News

"Why did he end it so suddenly?" The Daily Penpal

"What is the prize?" The Sunday Format

"Will the next ep be called...

**The Final Fight**

"...and have a disclaimer saying:"

Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not own Pokémon! Get that through your head, legal peeps!

"I don't know." Earth Now – The Unadulterated News

"Again: what is the prize?"

* * *

Der smiled blissfully. "The prize is..."  
"MINE!"  
The roof collapsed, and a man stood in the middle of the hall.  
"I am," he said, "TRIG!"  
"What's he doing here?" asked May, annoyed.  
Trig pulled out a book. "Remember the man in the Pokémon Centre back in chapter 23? That was I! And I have been hiding since then so I could produce this!"  
Trig pressed a button, and more ceiling caved in. A machine crashed through the ceiling. It was a giant mallet on wheels, covered in metal patches, and with some miscellaneous pipes attached. The base was covered in mirrors, and there was a mirror underneath the head of the mallet.  
"Behold the Malletomaticinator™!" shouted Trig as confetti descended from nowhere.  
"Hey: that's mine!" cried Misty.  
"Ooops," said Brock, hiding behind a random pillar.  
"Mallet™, use Headbutt!"  
The mallet machine lowered its head, and charged at the group. They leapt aside, and Ash fingered for a PokéBall.

"Bulbasaur, go!"  
The Pokémon leapt out, saw the Mallet™, and charged at it. A lick of fire came out of one of the tubes, and Bulbasaur barely escaped with a singed bulb.  
"Fools! The tubes unleash attacks of every kind! That one's Fire-type!"  
"Alright then: Squirtle, attack!"  
No sooner had Squirtle emerged then a bolt of lightning shot out of a second tube and zapped it.  
"Hang on. Fire-type tubes..." Ash picked up Squirtle, and hurled it at the Fire tube. It grabbed on, and a stream of fire shot out. Squirtle latched its mouth onto the tube, and used Water Gun. The tube rocked with the force of the water going through, and exploded.  
"OK! Just attack each tube like a Pokémon! Bulbasaur, go to the Water tube!"  
"Which is that?" asked May in dismay.  
"Look!" said Ad. "A label! It says, 'Ice'."  
"Every tube must be labelled," exclaimed Brock. "Here's the Water one!"  
"Right!" Ash threw Bulbasaur at the tube. He attacked it relentlessly, until it was destroyed.  
"Charmander, take Grass and Ice! Pikachu, do Flying! Gyrados, Dragon!"  
"Hey, what about the Psychic tube?" asked May, pointing at it. A beam flashed out of it, and took out one of the wings on her shoe.  
"Excuse me," she said, throwing her ghostly shoe at it. It exploded on contact.

Soon, only the Ground tube was intact.  
"Squirtle, Hydro Pump!"  
"Squirt!" Squirtle advanced, but a tremor shook the hall and it skidded like a headless chicken through the hall (along with everyone else). When it stopped, almost all the Pokémon had fainted. Pikachu looked scornfully at Latias and Latios, who were on the ground doing nothing.  
"Why aren't you shaking?" it asked aggressively.  
Latias giggled. "We can levitate! It's our ability."  
Latios nodded. "We don't feel Ground attacks."  
Pikachu growled. "Well hurry up and take out the tube then!"  
"Psybeam, Latias!" shouted Der. Latias unleashed a quick dart of energy, and the tube blew up.

"Grrr... Mallet™, use Pursuit!" Trig climbed into the machine.  
Mallet™ started pounding, and screeched on. The group dived out of the way, and it did a doughnut and came back.  
"It's locked on to us. Run!" shouted Misty as she pounded through the hall.  
"Char!" Charmander unleashed a Flamethrower at the Mallet™, but it hit the mirror. The attack bounced towards the base, where more mirrors bounced it through a box. Ash noticed that emerged from the box looking bigger. As soon as it came out, it was bounced towards them, and it hit the wall behind them, melting it instantly.  
"All attacks bounce off it! Run!"  
"Hang on!" said May. "I have a Mirror Coat! If someone puts it on, they can run through the attack and adjust the mirror!"  
"I'll do it!" cried Ash. He looked around.  
"Isn't anyone going to say, 'Oh no Ash, we need you, let me do it'?" he asked.  
"Nope," said May, shoving the coat towards him.

Ash ran through the flames. They rebounded off of him, lighting the entire hall, but still he ran. Bits burnt off from the heat, but he withstood the pain and ran towards the Mallet™. At last he reached the mirror. He tried to turn it, but failed. Eventually, he took his coat off, flung it at the box, and dove. The flames hit the coat and bounced into the Mallet™, cracking the mirror.  
("Seven years' bad luck," warned Misty.)  
Another electric attack by Pikachu ran straight through the mirror, filling the inside with electricity. Trig jumped out, howling with pain, and the Mallet™ collapsed, leaving splinters of wood all over the floor.

"You'll pay. You'll pay. Go, PokéBalls!"  
The three Balls opened, to reveal Regice, Registeel, and Regirock.  
"HOW IN HELL WILL I BEAT THEM? Charmander, Squirtle, go!"  
The dazed Pokémon waddled out. Charmander used a Fire Spin on Regice. It sniffed, and flicked it back. The flame knocked into Squirtle and Charmander, who fell over.

Ash fell to his feet.

"Take it. Please. Take it all. Everything. Just don't harm my Pokémon." He turned out his pockets, and thrust the money he had into Trig's hands. "Take it. Just call them back. Don't...hurt...them."

A blinding flash of light tore through the door. A huge Twister ripped through the three Regis and threw them into the wreck of Mallet™. Trig stared as a voice boomed.

"Trig. Member of Team Rocket. You have caused pain enough to us now. Go. You have been a thorn in everyone's side since you joined and I think it would be wise if you retired."  
"Not on your life! I love Team Rocket."  
"Trust me. You don't." An Aurora Beam froze Trig. "GO!"

An Explosion from below ground threw the ice cube and the wreck of Mallet™ into the air.  
"LOOKS LIKE TRIG ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!"

"What happened?"  
Ash woke up. The face of a huge white bird was looking down on him.  
"Oh God. This isn't a good sign. Panicking in 5, 4, 3."  
"Is he always like this?" asked the bird to Misty.  
"Pretty much," said Misty as Ash started panicking.  
"WHO IN THE NAME OF HOLY GREEN ASPARAGUS ARE YOU?"  
"Lugia, actually."  
"Lugia? But I set you free."  
"I said I'd never forget you. I've seen you grow since then. Mostly as a battler, but when you gave up to Trig to protect your Pokémon, I saw how good you were. That's why I helped you." Lugia hung its head. "Ash...take me with you."  
"But you should be free! You're wild, and flying! You don't want to be cooped up in there!"  
"It's actually quite comfy. But even if it wasn't, I've seen how well you treat your Pokémon."  
Ash wiped a tear from his cheek. "Lugia..." He straightened himself up, and withdrew a PokéBall. "PokéBall, go!"  
The Ball landed, and Lugia swooped into it. Not a struggle. Ash picked up the ball. Lugia wanted to come with him.

He let Lugia out of the ball for a moment.  
"I have remembered something. I have seen how loyal you are to your friends, so I will help them. I have brought _my_ friend."

"Cele!"  
The green blob flew in amid gasps of amazement. It dashed to May.  
"I feel...odd. Like...flesh. Ah!"

The wings on her shoes disappeared, and her hitherto colourless face was flooded again. Celibi flew away again. At the door, it turned, and winked to Ash, as if to say, "See ya!"  
May ran her fingers over her arms. "I'm alive."  
She grinned. "I can touch! I can feel! And most importantly, I can do this!" She punched Brock in the face. "It feels so good to do that. Ah..."  
"What was that for?" moaned Brock.  
"For getting us into this fine mess again," reprimanded Misty.

"Where's my prize then?" asked Ash.  
"Oh?" Der looked up. He rummaged in his wing. "Here."  
"WHAT?" In his wing was a tiny trophy made of iron, saying "Happy Christmas 1973!"  
"It was the best I could find," sweatdropped Der.  
And so, as Ash bickers with Der over a trophy, he ends his quest to defeat the Alterative League. All that remains is for me to say...

* * *

GOODNIGHT!

Actually, that's not all. I just want to say there's still the epilogue to go, and any reviews after I finish asking questions will be answered via a change in the epilogue by me, so keep R&Ring.

Until the last time!


	28. Epilouge

**Epilogue **

Disclaimer: I am not Nintendo: ipso ergo, I do not own Pokémon.

* * *

"No, Latias is not a Fire-type! Honestly, you'll never get a GSCE in Pokémon Studies if you carry on like _that._" 

That's Ad. He's now the owner of the first ever Pokémon School – literally, a school for Pokémon.

"Oi! You lot! It's time for your Battle Strategies coursework to be handed in!"

Der also works here now, as a teacher.

"Yeah. Give it to me and I'll mark it whilst you learn Geography!"

Simon has moved the Museum to the Pokémon School, and invites any humans in to see it.

Ash and co. often pop round for Pokémon Languages courses. As a result, Ash is now fluent in Pikachu.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I keep telling you, we'll get fifty percent more customers if we put the adverts there!"

"No, we should put them there!"

"Excuse me," piped up Rika, "sorry to interrupt you, Mistresses Freda, Lily and May, but what do we actually do?"

May now runs the May Enterprises™ wing of Freda, May and Rika Limited™ (Rika always insisted her name should go last) but she and Freda & Rika Industries™ don't get on very well. Still, they make lots of sales, and many people come to Saffron just for shopping.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Casualty in Professor Oak Ward! Severe Burn and Paralyse Heals needed."

"Bliss!"

"Come on Chance, hop in the trolley. Whee!"

Eliot is now a nurse at Azalea Town Pokémon Centre. Chance the Blissey is the main Blissey there, and she works in Blissey Ward feeding eggs to cheer up the sick Pokémon.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kahwie!"

"You look a lot better now,, Igglybuff. It's time for your nap now. You can sleep in the soft grass."

"Huhwahuhwa..."  
  
Mint is quite rich nowadays, having patented the Super-Megnamatic-Shrine-Door-Buster, but she still under takes her duty as protector of Ilex. Legends say whenever Pokémon are lost or abandoned in the woods, they are taken to a park full of trees and lakes, and looked after by a kindly woman before being taken back.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Nya...use Flamethrower to burn that down, Slugma!"

"Sluuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Now put it out with Hydro Pump!" shouted the Water Party fans. The flames dieddown, and massive whoops of applause came from the audience.

"Thank you, and see ya all next time!"

The Fire Party, Water Party and Flying Party run a stage show on Tuesdays at the Park (tickets are £1 each) showcasing the talents of each. They are also veterans in the world of Bug Catching and give lectures at the Pokémon School.

--------------------------------------------

"Murkrow, give boy helmet!"

"Murky murk!"

"No scare boy. Scare girl there."

"Murrr!"

Mercy occasionally runs confidence and social skills classes at the Pokémon School, but most of the time she teaches caving at her home. Murkrow likes scaring people.

----------------------------------------------

"Whee!"

"Everyone with Mrs. Ada, come out, it's time to go home!"

"Aww..."

Archibald leases out the Trick Houses (for a fee) to people to play in. Scientific research has proven the mansion has health giving properties if you play in it enough, although many suspect it was an excuse for them to carry out "serious scientific research" in the sandpit.

------------------------------------------------------

"Ti-KIBU!"

"Uhh...here's 20p. Which one..."

"Bye!"

The man picked it up. "Hey, I don't want The Mirror! Come back here!"

George Barnes (a.k.a, Tikibu Kid) lives with his parents outside the Safari Zone. He's Fuchsia's paperboy, and a very good one he is too.

--------------------------------------------------

"Berries! Do you want a Rawst Berry? Ok. Sandslash!"

"Sand." Sandslash dropped the Berry into Bernard's hands.

Bernard and Barbara still live in Viridian City, but now they run a Berry store. The Berry-pickers are Sandslash and Nidoran, and there are rumours that an 'underground orchard' is tendered under the city.

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"Lucky 7, please."

"Ok. I'll spin the wheel...6! 6!"

"Aw, I had 7."

"Close enough."

Robert owns a casino in Celadon, which has replaced the original Game Corner. The most popular addition is the 'no flyposting' policy.

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"Ghost! Ahh!"

"Did your psychotherapy work, then?"

"Hmm? Well, I didn't think it did...Hey, you're a ghost aren't you?"

The Haunter shrugged, and continued knitting.

Chelsea has taken psychotherapy courses for her fear of ghosts. Although it didn't appear to work, at the end of the course the teacher revealed himself to be a cleverly disguised Gengar, and she feels a lot more relaxed towards ghosts now, especially ones babbling about analysis and aversion therapy.

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"Hold your breath two three and under two three up two three..."

"I forgot my waterproof camera. Can I go to my locker and get it?"

Maxwell slapped the kid. "Just this once, OK?"

Maxwell works for the Day Care Centre, and also runs a scuba diving group. A member, Kerno, won the Amateur Photography challenge in Pallet.

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"Jumpluff, stop getting spores everywhere!"

"Jum."

"Ok then, bathtime!"

Jumpluff's eyes widened. "Jump!"

Elderflower still lives in as clean a house as ever.

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"Let's see...fourteen whitespace worlds and a 3-D one, please."

"Todd! I thought I handcuffed you last time."

"Oh hell..." Todd dived into the whitespace world as Mr. Panda thundered after him.

"Isn't life sweet, Bob?"

"Yeah." Bob sighed. "Hang on, he didn't pay the bill!"

Victoria and Bob got married, and now run a second-hand dimension business.

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And, of course, Ash, Misty and Brock went off into the sunset for another adventure...

* * *

Answers to Reviews:

Goodnight for the last time!


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